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Evil Neighbours Thread


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58 minutes ago, mishtergrolsch said:

Update - turns out the concreted in contraption has now been modified into a chicken coop. 

It was modified by wooden boards i was storing in my garden for re doing my fence. The gimp has helped himself to it. A good lot of it too. He's snuck into my garden again and just nicked my stuff. Livid doesn't cover it. I'm not chapping his door. Not wise for me to do that. So I'm going to inform the police and the council.

So now I've got a garden full of cats and chickens shiteing all over the place!

I'm ordering some security cameras, security lights and putting up gates (which i will utterly clort with anti climb paint) on both sides of the communal path round my property so it's another deterrent. I'm also tempted to send the bill to the council because I'm not having their tenant skulking about my property at all hours of the day when I'm at work and my Mrs and kid are at home. Especially when he's the type to not give a f**k about boundaries and ownership. Not cool.

What an absolute fucking nightmare, probably the only way out of it is violence, unfortunately. All the best.

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1 hour ago, mishtergrolsch said:

Update - turns out the concreted in contraption has now been modified into a chicken coop. 

It was modified by wooden boards i was storing in my garden for re doing my fence. The gimp has helped himself to it. A good lot of it too. He's snuck into my garden again and just nicked my stuff. Livid doesn't cover it. I'm not chapping his door. Not wise for me to do that. So I'm going to inform the police and the council.

So now I've got a garden full of cats and chickens shiteing all over the place!

I'm ordering some security cameras, security lights and putting up gates (which i will utterly clort with anti climb paint) on both sides of the communal path round my property so it's another deterrent. I'm also tempted to send the bill to the council because I'm not having their tenant skulking about my property at all hours of the day when I'm at work and my Mrs and kid are at home. Especially when he's the type to not give a f**k about boundaries and ownership. Not cool.

Get yourself a couple of greyhounds, starve them for a few days then chuck them in his garden when the hens and cats are there.

Works every time.

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6 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

f**k all his chickens to death while he watches on in horror. It's the only way.

😂

Reminds me of that old south park episode!

22 minutes ago, mizfit said:

I’d post a shite through his letterbox and every night order a different taxi/delivery to his house.

Might feed my dog a kebab tomorrow and aim his arse over the hedge.

58 minutes ago, NJ2 said:


Could you beat him in a fight?

Yeah. Quite easily. Not that I'm Rocky Balboa or anything but hes a scrawny 20 year old and I'm a big c**t and 34.

 

55 minutes ago, Dele said:

Evs on neighbour. 

7/2 on Mr.Grohl.

May take that bet and take a fall after the second punch actually. Will use the winnings to buy more fencing...

 

Tempted to murder his chickens, hang them on barbed wire about the neighbourhood like a scene from Predator then threaten to ram my fist down his throat and break his God damn spine.

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A number of years ago a well known nutjob was due to move in the flats above my parents.
In particular my mum was worried as she knew his reputation.
My dad not so much worried as he said hed have his ex army mates round to f**k him up... but he and they were getting on in age.
This guy was someone I couldn't handle , but would have done if needed... somehow.
Was having a couple of pints with a good friend and mentioned what was happening.
He said he was working next to him for a few weeks and would have a word with him.
This guy could handle himself... so he told him that any sign of bother and he would have to deal with him.
Fast forward a couple of weeks after the nutter moved in and I asked my mum if there had been any trouble with him.
She replied... oh no..I think people have him all wrong, everytime I see him hes very very polite and asks if I need anything just to ask him.
Potential neighbour from hell turned into a quiet mouse.
Threats of extreme violence do work.

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On 13/09/2019 at 02:39, MeadowArab said:

Kidnap a fox and let it loose in his garden. Take photos of the fox but from your side of the fence. That way your dog can't get blamed.

 

Then install security cameras a few days later.

Security light went up today. Caught his fat arse of a girlfriend / mother / sister (shes maybe all three) peeking into my garden about tea time while I was looking out my window. She saw me watching and she suddenly became interested in the path under her feet. Fucking cow.

Turns out another neighbour has had stuff nicked too. Other tools and wood etc to make this coop out of I assume. He's an extremely frail old boy who has a terminal illness. I only found out his stuff got nicked after chatting to him for the first time in a while. 

So he has soaked a load of rat poison and meal worms in a bucket of water and is going to feed the hens tomorrow.

I, for one, can't fucking wait.

Also, the Mrs ran their number plate into the DVLA website and they haven't had road tax for 6 weeks. Glorious. 

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7 minutes ago, mishtergrolsch said:

Also, the Mrs ran their number plate into the DVLA website and they haven't had road tax for 6 weeks. Glorious. 

Good luck getting any success with that side of things. We had a neighbour at our old house who was fond of purchasing old bangers with no tax, mot etc and parking them on the road, pavement etc for extended periods of time. I was bored one day so reported it. Absolutely nothing was done. Hopefully your local authorities will be better than mine. 

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1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

Auld boy clearly decided he has nothing to lose here, this could get really interesting!

Yeah, I have a feeling the old boy wants to take this boy down with him!

55 minutes ago, EH75 said:

Good luck getting any success with that side of things. We had a neighbour at our old house who was fond of purchasing old bangers with no tax, mot etc and parking them on the road, pavement etc for extended periods of time. I was bored one day so reported it. Absolutely nothing was done. Hopefully your local authorities will be better than mine. 

If not then I'll just drop some nails behind his tires for some satisfaction at least. Might wait till he's out then phone the polis and report him for dangerous driving in the area. Maybe it'll get picked up then. 

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