dundeebarry Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 My most awkward social situation is crossing the road at lights. It is ok if there are other people crossing. Howveer, if it is only you and there are cars at both sides, i absolutely hate it and feel like everyone in their cars will be talking about me. I will do anything to avoid this situation, from dicing with death crossing in front of cars to proper sprinting to the lights to ensure I cross at the same time as someone else. I feel your pain with this. It's not the point of crossing that gets me, but when I'm walking parallel past a line of traffic that has formed at a red light. Guaranteed every person in every car watches you as you go by. With a succession of different eyes on me I seem to start looking either shady (eyes flitting all over the shop, look of a man who's been up to no good), dumb (furrow-browed, gormless look toward something above head-height, usually up to my right) or with the over-compensatory steely gaze and determined stride of a man with some good old fashioned killing and burning on his mind. Oddly enough I'm generally not a self-conscious person, and would probably be considered firmly self-confident and perfectly at ease with myself. I have no qualms about dealing with crowds, strangers or lines of vacant cars (I'm fucking boss in car parks, let me tell you). Put people who will give me a cursory glance in them though, and I'll feel distinctly uncomfortable as I go by. Couple that with my uncanny ability to trip on uneven surfaces just as I pass good looking girls and I'm a bit of a shit pedestrian. You know the video for Bittersweet Symphony? That's walking porn to me. I'm not much of a Verve fan, but credit where it's due, that Richard Ashcroft can stride down the street like nobodies business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis Bergkamp Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 My most awkward social situation is crossing the road at lights. It is ok if there are other people crossing. Howveer, if it is only you and there are cars at both sides, i absolutely hate it and feel like everyone in their cars will be talking about me. I will do anything to avoid this situation, from dicing with death crossing in front of cars to proper sprinting to the lights to ensure I cross at the same time as someone else. Find a flyover somewhere if you want to cross over my road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supras Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 My most awkward social situation is crossing the road at lights. It is ok if there are other people crossing. Howveer, if it is only you and there are cars at both sides, i absolutely hate it and feel like everyone in their cars will be talking about me. I will do anything to avoid this situation, from dicing with death crossing in front of cars to proper sprinting to the lights to ensure I cross at the same time as someone else. Never heard of that one to be honest. Nobody in the cars has probably ever said anything about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hank Scorpio Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Stop spoiling it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forehead7 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 My most awkward social situation is crossing the road at lights. It is ok if there are other people crossing. Howveer, if it is only you and there are cars at both sides, i absolutely hate it and feel like everyone in their cars will be talking about me. I will do anything to avoid this situation, from dicing with death crossing in front of cars to proper sprinting to the lights to ensure I cross at the same time as someone else. I was walking down to Tesco earlier and there was a fucking Orange Walk. It literally started passing me just as I got to the lights. Obviously they had the police escort and I wasn't sure whether I should risk trying to cross before they got there or maybe through them if there was a break in it. Had to wait like 5 minutes for it and the backlog of traffic to pass, while loads of Rangers NewCo tops passed me. Not only passing me but some passed infront of me(I was standing at the very edge of the pavement so they went onto the road. Seemed weird, do they not know how to walk on the pavement(the tag alongs, not the marchers)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I had an awkward social situation last week. Although I did everything in my power to stop the embarrassment factor as best I could. I was walking through a shopping centre in Glasgow and I was stopped by a stunning woman trying to sell some items for Father's Day. She asks me have I bought anything for my father yet. I say no. She asks why not? I say I do not speak with him any more. She says it would be a good present to reconcile with him. I say I am really not interested. She then tries one last time with the sale stating some rubbish that it would be appreciated etc. Now what do you do in this situation? I have really been polite and stated all the way through that I wasn't interested in her wares. Do I just politely walk away? So I thought I would be truthful and just end the conversation there and then and stop it being any more awkward. "Look he's fucking dead" Worked a treat. I think she was about to cry. I felt that was a bit harsh. But what else could you do? f**k 'em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodside Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Never heard of that one to be honest. Nobody in the cars has probably ever said anything about it. Speak for yourself, I usually sit and ruthlessly mock the guys clothes, gait, hair etc. only if it's the one guy at a pedestrian crossing mind, if it's a group then fair play. That one guy though? What a loser! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Never heard of that one to be honest. Nobody in the cars has probably ever said anything about it. No, I definitely know this feeling. You can feel the eyes of drivers burning into you, as if they're saying "You. We've all had to stop for you. You could have just waited for a gap, but no. You had to make us all fucking stop. Bitch". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 It has probably been mentioned many, many times before, but the worst for me has to be working/being stuck with someone you absolutely hate for an extended period of time. It's even worse if they don't know that you hate them. The small talk is just excruciating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I had an awkward social situation last week. Although I did everything in my power to stop the embarrassment factor as best I could. I was walking through a shopping centre in Glasgow and I was stopped by a stunning woman trying to sell some items for Father's Day. She asks me have I bought anything for my father yet. I say no. She asks why not? I say I do not speak with him any more. She says it would be a good present to reconcile with him. I say I am really not interested. She then tries one last time with the sale stating some rubbish that it would be appreciated etc. Now what do you do in this situation? I have really been polite and stated all the way through that I wasn't interested in her wares. Do I just politely walk away? So I thought I would be truthful and just end the conversation there and then and stop it being any more awkward. "Look he's fucking dead" Worked a treat. I think she was about to cry. I felt that was a bit harsh. But what else could you do? f**k 'em You could've asked her out, with minimal expectations of her accepting. Either she rejects you, thus leaving an easy opening to walk away, or she says yes, netting you a date with a stunning woman, and also an opportunity to change the subject. Win/win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aufc Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Never heard of that one to be honest. Nobody in the cars has probably ever said anything about it. Naw mate, they are definately talking about you and saying "There is that wee pedantic, annoying fud aff P&B" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supras Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Naw mate, they are definately talking about you and saying "There is that wee pedantic, annoying fud aff P&B" Hope so, I do it all the time. And sometimes even press the button then go for the free space anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian86 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 My absolute number one happens in work. I work in a supermarket. We are told to talk to customers, give the usual pish like "Hi how are you" but this goes against my personal view, in a supermarket I'd much rather the cashier said f**k all and served me as quick as they can. Then a customer will hit out with "cheer up" or some shite, I mean f**k off, are you happy looking all the time at your work?! Then there's the customers that are regulars, what sort of conversation do you have past "Alright, how you doing?"? Then it gets awkward for everyone in that situation. Usually it results in some shite jokes being spouted and some usual small talk/waffle. To sum up, customers are c***s. And I do not want to converse with them. One of my pet hates. Am I meant to go about with a fucking smile on my face for 8 hours ya bawbag?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian86 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 When someone recognises you and starts speaking to you abut you have no idea who they are. Happened to me the other day and it was bloody awful. You can either go one of three ways; tell them you can't remember their name and apologise, make your excuses and leave or stay in the conversation but attempt to move the chat into an area where you could guess who they are. I would cringe too much to do the first one so usually pick the latter two options. I've not done this myself but I was once in Tesco minding my own business when a guy came up to me and said "alright Andy, haven't seen you in a while". I'm not Andy and he tought I was someone else. It was laughed off but I would imagine I would pretty embarassed about it if the same happened to me. A while ago I was in the mcdonalds toilets at central, and this middle aged jakeball type went 'awright Martin' to me. To this day I haven't a clue how the f**k I, a teenage student, could possibly have known this guy, never mind be on first name terms! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian86 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 When you can't understand what someone is saying for a second or even third time and you have to just nod slightly/chuckle, hoping it wasn't a question. A guy in ma work asked 'got the time on ye?', thing is I could hear that it was a question but not what that question was. On the third attempt I just went, 'dknow mate'. He at last repeated clearly 'No, have you got the time on you?' :facepalm: Aye, I'm quite adept at getting into awkward situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meathead Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 My new social situation to hate is when I'm going to knock on someone's door for whatever reason and there's already someone else at the door. It's even worse if the door is open but the person who answered is inside getting something for the other person. This leaves you in the awkward position of chatting to the person you probably don't know, awkwardly standing about to wait for the person to come back to the door or ringing the doorbell again which will also involve standing about awkwardly for a bit and risks annoying the person in the house since they'll think the other person is impatient and wants them to hurry up by ringing the bell again. An overall unpleasant situation to find yourself in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 My new social situation to hate is when I'm going to knock on someone's door for whatever reason and there's already someone else at the door. It's even worse if the door is open but the person who answered is inside getting something for the other person. This leaves you in the awkward position of chatting to the person you probably don't know, awkwardly standing about to wait for the person to come back to the door or ringing the doorbell again which will also involve standing about awkwardly for a bit and risks annoying the person in the house since they'll think the other person is impatient and wants them to hurry up by ringing the bell again. An overall unpleasant situation to find yourself in. I've never even thought of this before. Thankfully it's never happened to me but I'm going to be paranoid of this in future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Many years ago (the 90's) when I lived in East Kilbride myself and my mate were in a pub called The Tower in the shopping mall sitting down having a quiet pint. Suddenly from nowhere this old guy neither of us knew or had ever seen before wandered over to the table, put both hands on it, leaned in and announced: "I.........am an octopus!" then winked and went back to the bar and continued drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonMan Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I find the jokes one very awkward at times. I'll often look some up and then tell them to my mates but it's cringeworthy stuff when I find one I think is hilarious and they all stand/sit there expressionless. Got to then just brush it off and move onto the next one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Most of the posts just highlight how socially inadequate most of us are...including me. Slightly different... Wanting to tell that p***k to turn his MP3 player down because the whole effen bus can hear his shite taste in music, but you know you're the one who'll end up looking the p***k if it doesn't go exactly to plan. Lying in bed as that fat b*****d upstairs rearranges his furniture at one in the morning, whilst standing on the squeakiest floorboard he can find. Do you bang the ceiling, go to his door, turn on the telly or gently seethe? Wanting to chase after the p***k who's just gone through a puddle to soak you in the off chance that he gets stopped at the lights. Could backfire on you if it was a good-lookin' chick or a big mad b*****d. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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