weirdcal Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 evil bee basturts are back i take it? didnt any last year and now they are massive. roid raging wee gits. big as me fecking dogs they are. not to worry, my evil cat has the taste for flying creatures i should be safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZOR Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 You should have told it to buzz off. Youve taken the sting right out of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny van Axeldongen Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I hate it when you're lying all cosy in bed in the morning, drifting in and out of sleep, only to be woken by the dreaded "Bzzzzz........bzzz......................bbbzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzz". One got into the bedroom yesterday and ended up wandering about on the floor all dazed and confused; I caught it and ejected it from the premises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulo Sergio Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Youve taken the sting right out of this thread. Come on honey don't be like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Come on honey don't be like that. Did you know that honey is a miracle food? It never goes bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I was reclining on the deck yesterday afternoon and a huge, menacing looking fucker of a bee/wasp/stinging thing landed right beside me. I almost clarted my breeks and screamed like a wee lassie. A very alarming development. I could swear I also saw a swarm of midges today! You have my deepest sympathies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Bees must be stopped. This is what nuclear arms were created and stockpiled for. If we have to tolerate a harsh nuclear winter, it would be well worth it if we managed to eliminate the evil bee. A bee once killed my father and raped my mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 A bee once killed my father and raped my mother. Could have been worse. It could have been gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Could have been worse. It could have been gay. Who says it wasn't?! I thought I had just gotten over the horrific bee attack on my family, and we starting to move on, but now you've thrown a wildcard out there, and it's emotion city once more. Tears McGhee is now my name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Who says it wasn't?! Your mother would be dead and your old man would have a sore arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Concerned. We haven't heard anything from Dundee Bazza for a while, could someone pop round his house. He might be unconscious after suffering a delayed anaphylactic shock or he might have retreated to his nuclear bunker to avoid any further bee attacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Your mother would be dead and your old man would have a sore arse. Maybe he confused them. My mother is quite man-ish and the old man has a fine set of baps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 i mind in primary 3 i was innocently playing football in the playground one lunchtime while celebrating a goal (it probably hit off me or something) i was stung by a bee...in the mouth the shock of this lead me to kill the thing by biting it to death it was all very traumatic for a young child, sore mouth, bits of bee in my mouth , rinsed my mouth out for AGES at the drinking fountain that day lunchtime wasted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Concerned. We haven't heard anything from Dundee Bazza for a while, could someone pop round his house. He might be unconscious after suffering a delayed anaphylactic shock or he might have retreated to his nuclear bunker to avoid any further bee attacks. If he had any sense, he would have retreated to his "Safe Room" curing himself on a mixture of shrooms and his stock of his own filtered urine. Sometime in a few days he will emerge, safe having had an epiphany and not surprisingly, a desire to brush his teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 If he had any sense, he would have retreated to his "Safe Room" curing himself on a mixture of shrooms and his stock of his own filtered urine. Sometime in a few days he will emerge, safe having had an epiphany and not surprisingly, a desire to brush his teeth. I have a mental image of him glued to his radio (because it's obvious he didn't get a network connection installed to the room) trying to find news stories that the bee invasion is over and it's safe for humans to return to the surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I have a mental image of him glued to his radio (because it's obvious he didn't get a network connection installed to the room) trying to find news stories that the bee invasion is over and it's safe for humans to return to the surface. I suspect your observation on his lack of "tech" may be true. Despite the safe room having more monitors than the Port Glasgow CCTV room, alas due to a chronic overspend on his recent far east trip, the most he can do with them is play "pong" in wide screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I've never been stung by bee nor wasp. What's it like? It's a brilliant experience so first thing tomorrow you must go hunting for a bees nest and knock yourself out. Make sure you do not chose the "yellow nosed bee" this will be a dissapointment, as they are lacking of sting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 Concerned. We haven't heard anything from Dundee Bazza for a while, could someone pop round his house. He might be unconscious after suffering a delayed anaphylactic shock or he might have retreated to his nuclear bunker to avoid any further bee attacks. I appreciate your concern, Swarley. I'm safe and well. Angry and vengeful, yes, but essentially all right. It's been quite a day. Having absorbed the full force of the Pearl Harbour-like sneak attack endured at the hands of the crafty species of bees this morning, my thoughts turned to revenge. Displaying bravery not seen since xbl thought, "Ken what? f**k locking the door at night. I'm swashbuckling enough to take any c**t who dares enter," I ventured outside and captured one of the enemy using the tried and tested jam jar entrapment technique. I brought the wee fucker inside and waterboarded him. I got some answers. It seems their modus operandi is to serve their queen, gather pollen and RULE THE WORLD. I suspected as much. Satisfied with the information I'd gleaned, I set my prisoner free and told him to tell his queen that shit just got real. The sting was an act of war, and as such I declared my intention to wage World War Bee with this foul, inherently evil,and in many ways fascist, species. You made a powerful enemy today, bees. Game on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Does it have a yellow nose due to drug misuse? Although being a sanzen, I have failed to communicate fully with the "apis" In ten years, all I have been able to glean is that they say,"two legs good, six legs better, now f**k off 'cause we have wings as well" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginge123 Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I see a Hunter S. Thompson-esque war diary coming soon from DundeeBarry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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