forever_blue Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) 40 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said: If your bunkmate has difficulty sleeping you can help him out by reading him your P&B posts. I heard Ken says the clumpanys tweets in his sleep Edited July 21, 2016 by forever_blue -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 The ideal accommodation on an offshore platform 2 man cabin, is for 1 guy on day shift and 1 guy on nights. This place has had so much activity for the past few years and has such a low bed capacity that we have always been 'up to maximum' manning level and invariably cabin sharing, which is not ideal, even if most of the guys are pretty sound. It is just that after a shift there's nothing finer than shutting the door and having the place to yourself and being able to channel-hop, watch a full movie or fitba match without having do do the old 'who showers first / who needs the lights out before the other guy' routines - which irritates once you reach your seventh decade. Gie's peace! So for the last week I have had that luxury and very pleasant it has been. However I have checked today's flight list and the top bunk in my cabin has been allocated to a guy called.... . . . . . . .Bennett. Fucking hell Ken. You a rig pig then? A seafarer without the balls to get involved with the elements. I remember when I was training, so many fucking years ago, we had just gotten off a trip on the Star Sirius and after obligatory pay off pints in the Crown and Anchor, where more anchors were lifted than there were anchors in the entire oil industry I boarded the train home to Sneck. The train journey was bliss until the paraffin budgie lot boarded at Dyce. Loud, obnoxious, full of their own self importance and trying to impress women by regaling them with tales of hardship. We had had some weather to be fair to these North Sea pussies but the fuckers were crying about seasickness and not being able to sleep or even shave because of the terrible motion aboard their behemoth which was safely secured to the ocean bed. Fuckers were oot the game, pished, by Elgin, to the great relief of the whole carriage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) 8 hours ago, Ken Fitlike said: The ideal accommodation on an offshore platform 2 man cabin, is for 1 guy on day shift and 1 guy on nights. 7 minutes ago, stonedsailor said: Fucking hell Ken. You a rig pig then? A seafarer without the balls to get involved with the elements. Pugwash and Master Bates having a contretemps. Edited July 21, 2016 by The_Kincardine 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Seaside leagues for this pish. It's been that long since my club were down there, is the crack still good? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Just now, stonedsailor said: It's been that long since my club were down there, is the crack still good? I'm a Golden Virginia bloke myself...though I did update my post 'on reflection'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Pugwash and Master Bates having a contretemps. Pugwash and Master Bates, even though they were fictional, were more seafarer than any rig pig. Just saying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Just now, stonedsailor said: Pugwash and Master Bates, even though they were fictional, were more seafarer than any rig pig. Just saying. I would hate to speak for Dull Ken. He'll be ensconced in the bottom bunk Master Bating to Shaun the Sheep videos. You jolly jack tars can sort out your own differences. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 12 minutes ago, stonedsailor said: Pugwash and Master Bates, even though they were fictional, were more seafarer than any rig pig. Just saying. I heard that Ken had the hands of a woman. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I would hate to speak for Dull Ken. He'll be ensconced in the bottom bunk Master Bating to Shaun the Sheep videos. You jolly jack tars can sort out your own differences. Again, Ken does not fit the category of a Jack Tar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I heard that Ken had the hands of a woman. He better give them back before they get too soft. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Just now, stonedsailor said: Again, Ken does not fit the category of a Jack Tar. Well work it through with our brave matelot nouveau. We ken how the pair of you like to be particular in your choice of words.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Well work it through with our brave matelot nouveau. We ken how the pair of you like to be particular in your choice of words.. Matelot might be an apt choice of word for Ken as it derives from the Dutch mattenoot meaning bed companion. He seems to think that is the perfect set up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellbhoy Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 1 hour ago, The_Kincardine said: Well work it through with our brave matelot nouveau. We ken how the pair of you like to be particular in your choice of words.. OK that's enough KInky. Take the tube and attach it back to the catheter and stop using it as a mixer for yer Gin and pretending to the misses it's a cloudy lemonade mixer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Fitlike Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Some bizarre views on Offshore life! StonedSailor's north bound train probably sums up the average young heilander as much as rig worker. Mind you I wouldn't relish the south bound trains to the west of scotland or Newcastle / Middlesborough either after a crew change. Nobody has ever felt sea-sick on a fixed platform My new colleague 'Bennett' is a weird wee-pension aged yorkshire guy - like something out of Last of the Summer Wine. Think of that guy who is hen-pecked but keeps going off with the brassy blonde slapper..... So, when oor Bennett posts in future that's the mental picture I'll have of him. I was tempted to ask the guy if he ever dressed up as a viking, but thought that could be misconstrued. But really, f**k all to do with Old Rangers cheating and dying and Tribute Rangers being a never ending source of mirth.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Some bizarre views on Offshore life! StonedSailor's north bound train probably sums up the average young heilander as much as rig worker. Mind you I wouldn't relish the south bound trains to the west of scotland or Newcastle / Middlesborough either after a crew change. Nobody has ever felt sea-sick on a fixed platform My new colleague 'Bennett' is a weird wee-pension aged yorkshire guy - like something out of Last of the Summer Wine. Think of that guy who is hen-pecked but keeps going off with the brassy blonde slapper..... So, when oor Bennett posts in future that's the mental picture I'll have of him. I was tempted to ask the guy if he ever dressed up as a viking, but thought that could be misconstrued. But really, f**k all to do with Old Rangers cheating and dying and Tribute Rangers being a never ending source of mirth.... I think that the behavior of rig workers back then was more indicative of the brain dead eejits which were being used to fill rigs in the late 80s early 90s than their areas of habitation. You know the ones? 6 week welding course and think they are North Sea Tigers. Bragging about their wads of danger money then crying like bitches when helicopters drop out the sky.All trains from Aberdeen used to be filled up with pissed up rig pigs trying to out brag each other, getting louder as the journey progressed.I would imagine it is not so bad these days given that there is f**k all work left and a good portion of it will be taken by older more mature and experienced guys left after the dead wood was cleared during the downturn.Got out the offshore game in good time, had to lower myself to ferry work but it pays the bills, a good bit better money too as most the guys I knew from then have either been laid off for Philippine seamen or had to take pay cuts of up to 20%.When the Crown and Anchor shut it's doors at Xmas you just knew the offshore game was fucked.You are correct though the death of North Sea oil industry can only be loosely linked to Rangers...Wood Group? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Fitlike Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 You are correct though the death of North Sea oil industry can only be loosely linked to Rangers...Wood Group? when Rangers 2012 finally show up at Pittodrie, they will most certainly be a Boo'd Group. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bendarroch Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Hivs & Hurtz -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Sports Direct have been accused of having a workforce which is treated as non human. Jobs for life for Sevconians. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shull Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 39 minutes ago, Bendarroch said: Hivs & Hurtz BLUE SECTARIAN VERMIN FC 1873 (DECEASED) laugh at that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Dull ken and para handy blaming sevco for the oil industries decline is bizarre, even for them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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