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Dindeleux

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Nothing that interesting happened at my school but one of my old English teachers (supply teacher) is now a comedy writer for Craig Ferguson's late show in the States. He also appeared in Rab C Nesbit once and had a brief spell as a stand up comedian,

appearing on some talent show doing a

Initials PM? I had him for French in first year. He was fuckin bonkers.

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The only interesting thing that happened to me at school was our physics teacher. Camp as a row of tents, yet he still managed to be a dour b*****d.

What we didn't know was that he had a part-time job as a TV presenter / newsreader on UTV (think a Northern Irish Jackie Bird).... of course, once he appeared on prime-time ITV, we all knew about it. Obviously, we were all quite awestruck that someone so boring and miserable did something so interesting.

But the grumpy git never answered one of our questions, and never even acknowledged the fact that he was on the telly.

What's more, he is the only teacher I've EVER had that made you work on the last day of term rather than just playing games :(

Here he is in all his camp glory.

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Our old RE teacher at Larbert High got abused on a regular basis for supposedly being a peadophile. One day in 2nd year, little Sean McArthur didn't like the fact that Mr Sunderland made eye contact with him so stood up and decided to launch his chair at him. Safe to say this drove mr Sunderland to the edge and he left the school. His replacement, Mr Johnson, was actually one of the soundest teachers you will meet and quite ironically has been done for child pornography.

Also a 1st year girl with alapechia was dishing out gams in the disabled toilets last week supposedly.

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My old English teacher ( ok to mention names?) was caught having flings with female students twice. The second time it happened he jamp off the Forth Road Bridge

He is also absolutely seething with your description of his death.

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The only story I can think of is when one of the french teachers was off and left the supply teacher a video to show her class. At the end of the video it cut out to full on gay porn.

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Do that Gideons lot still hand out bibles at some point in RE these days? When they came in to our RE class back when I were lad (early 90s) a guy called Adam got handed one, where upon he sat sat down and started to slowly rip the pages out one by one and ate them. A suspension ensued. Was funny as feck at the time though.

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Rector: "As half of you will know, a very serious incident took place in the last class and I would like to speak to some of you regarding what was said to your R.E. teacher Mr Tully"

[Girl stands up and shouts very loudly]:

Girl: "Sir, she called him a f***ing Irish b*****d, Sir!"

We also had an Irish RE teacher called Mr Tully. Surely it can't be the same one?

My abiding memory of him is him coming in to take the register one morning with a metre of toilet role hanging out of his trousers. I've still no idea how he managed that one.

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Do that Gideons lot still hand out bibles at some point in RE these days? When they came in to our RE class back when I were lad (early 90s) a guy called Adam got handed one, where upon he sat sat down and started to slowly rip the pages out one by one and ate them. A suspension ensued. Was funny as feck at the time though.

We were given one a couple of years ago(small red bible), unfortunately no one done that! laugh.gif

Edited by Sooky

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I went to Webster's High School in Kirriemuir from 1985 to 1991, and i think it's fair to say, a large number of the teachers there were somewhat eccentric.

Maths teachers seemed to be especially bonkers. One, Angus Cameron was most definitely a massive alcoholic, and had been for a long long time. He was commonly referred to as "Drac" due to his alarming similarity to a Scooby Doo villain and his sunken, white features made him look somewhat undead. Well not now, as he IS actually dead.

We had another guy called Mr Welsh, who had a spectacular bowl cut, and an allergy to man made fibres. He turned up to teach wearing a kilt (complete with sandals and skean dhu), a velvet pullover and the campest accent known to man. I think he had a break down a few years after i left.

Other weirdos included buck-toothed French teacher Miss Kingston, who spoke the entire lesson in French, only lapsing into English to use the phrase "Idiot boy"; Dr Romberg who was a Latin Teacher with the build of Jaws from the James Bond films and also a prospective Liberal Democrat candidate for one of the Dundee MP seats in the late 80s. She got about 47 votes and didn't react well to the pish-taking.

We also had two rather contrasting footballers for teachers. One was ex-Dundee and Scotland midfielder Bobby Robinson. He taught English and was a pretty good guy, and also an excellent teacher. Sadly passed away a couple of years ago i think. The other was a short-arsed Junior footballer called Mr Hearne. He had major wee-man complex and took it out on us in PE. If a football match was too one-sided he'd play on one of the teams to even it up a bit. I skinned him once and he completely halfed me. c**t. We later found out he played for Forfar Albion, so naturally went to one of their games and harangued him from start to finish. He was fucking shite :lol:. Clearly this was youthful stupidity as the fucker dropped football for cross country running for the next fortnight.

Edited by jupe1407

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Our headteacher is obsessed with uniform - more specifically blazers. You must be wearing your blazer at all times in the school building - although you have the option to wear them in class. Anyway, the poster 'Sao Paulo' on here was a few years above me, and he was on the sideline watching the 6th year football team. The headteacher was coach of the 6th year team, and they let in 2 late goals to lose a game 2-1. The head was absolutely livid, going mental on the touchline etc. Sao Paulo looked at him and went "We wouldn't have shipped those two goals if we were wearing our blazers, eh sir?" He went fucking crazy and I'm sure SP was summoned to the head's office the next day!

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Our headteacher came to our scottish cup game in dunfermline one time. We got 4 boys sent off and the match abandoned. The team wasn't allowed to play another game.

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We also had an Irish RE teacher called Mr Tully. Surely it can't be the same one?

My abiding memory of him is him coming in to take the register one morning with a metre of toilet role hanging out of his trousers. I've still no idea how he managed that one.

I was at Queen Anne in Dunfermline so it's a 99.99999% certainty.

One of our PE teachers also played for Brechin at the time which was pretty decent for complimentary tickets but pretty crap supporting a team so shite that your teacher plays for them. He certainly played your mob in the league though.

Edited by Hedgecutter

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Was it Smeato? Smeato is an absolute legend! Doolan was the other one I remember, googly eyes.

That could be Smeaton?

The one and only Smeato! Doolan did indeed have googly eyes, folk were scared of him but he wasn't all that bad.

countvoncount.jpg

He always reminded me of a googly eyed version of this chap!

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When I was in fourth year, just before the Easter holidays a few of the guys in my class decided that it would be funny to lock our teacher in the room at the bottom of the class (the Techy department). They did it and started mocking the bloke, calling him a baldy fucker etc..

What they didn't bank on was that he had every single students' portfolio in the same room. Along with a massive circular saw. He told us that he had them and what he intended to do with them, but everyone thought he was bluffing. He put 13 through in the end before the idiots who locked him in there decided to let him out, as we all thought that he was bluffing.

He left shortly after this, as parents were obviously outraged (think the portfolio counted for 30% of your overall mark). What made it worse was he put through a couple of portfolios that belonged to students who were not actually there that day.

We had a janny that got caught wanking in the IT room to some midget porn. Lost his house and his job, and made the nationals. Poor bloke.

A guy I went to school with got remanded in custody for an attempted murder charge in 2005, when he was still at school. He made the front pages for trying to murder the guy that killed Jodie Jones. Fairly certain he is serving a life term now (the guy I went to school with).

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I remember an incident at DHS when a glass window was 'removed' from it's original place and it plummeted towards the ground from about 10-15 ft. No idea how it fell, I assume someone noticed it was maybe a bit loose and decided to give it a little kick or just pushed it clean out. I was just around the corner from when it fell towards the ground. Unfortunately there was someone standing underneath it when it fell and it landed flat on his head. The aftermath wasn't pretty. For some reason one of the janitors, who was nearby, decided to walk him towards the main entrance of the school in an attempt to get him quicker medical attention. It was like a scene from a horror movie as his head was cracked open and there was blood pouring out of it. There was just a trail of it from where the incident occurred to where he eventually collapsed. He didn't die however he must have suffered some form of after effects, he is lucky to still be alive. Not many people can say they were hit by a falling glass window.

It was like the PG version of this:

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Jesus Christ, i'm gonna have a field day with this! :ph34r:

At our 6th year prom/graduation, we (prefects) were given the responsibilty of giving awards for everyone in our year (i got the "Gay best friend award'' dry.gif )

During 5th year (I think), I used to dog English as i really couldn't be fucked with it. On a Tuesday & Friday we'd have it after lunch, so i'd spend 55mins in the boys toilets waiting for the next subject to come (because the toilets were still open). On one occasion, the day after we got our exam results back (which i never bothered going in for) i found everyone bar 1 (male & female) in the boys toilets hiding from Mrs Livingston. Some time later in the year, i walked in to find a younger guy sitting in one of the sinks having a w**k. I told everyone about this, and that's why i got my prom award.

Ah i loved school.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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We too had the 6th year award ceremony. After the votes were in, one fat, rather ugly girl stole the 'babe of the year' by a convincing margin but it was decided that she should be stripped of her title to prevent her probably jumping out the top floor window (as it would have caused considerable damage).

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Sao Paulo looked at him and went "We wouldn't have shipped those two goals if we were wearing our blazers, eh sir?"

 Sao Paulo looked at him and went "One might postulate that were the participants garbed in blazers, the relinquishing of two late goals mayhaps have been averted, eh sir?" 

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