Junkers83 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 One of my best friends Callum made my German teacher's life hell. She was German so we all laughed at her accent anyway. Some of Callum's antics included shining a laser pen in her eye, farting on her and the best one : Leaving a used condom that we found on the pitch on her desk. She picked it up and started waving it about going doolally. There was still a bit of "discharge" in the johnny and after waving it about, it went in her eye. There was pandemonium in the classroom. Kids were suffocating as they were laughing to much. For months later, everyone took great delight in telling Mrs Kuntz To "Swallow next time". She left at the end of that year as did Callum, both leaving behind a legacy. I don't think anyone will ever top that at Kingussie High. I smell shite 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_ict Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I smell shite No word of a lie, I swear to you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkers83 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 No word of a lie, I swear to you. Mrs Kuntz??? cmon... you cant bullshit a bullshitter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamingparBoz Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 A friend of mine when we were in 5th year got "whitewashed" by a group of 1st years. We all stood back and laughed . Even better was that he was a prefect. I also remember two guys fighting so much they both had tears streaming down their faces. Was a sight to behold. Another favourite: in our group of mates one lad was getting ribbed constantly by another for being slightly overweight. He snapped one day and bodyslammed him completely out the blue, I swear I couldn't breathe for laughing for about 15 minutes! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan_ict Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Mrs Kuntz??? cmon... you cant bullshit a bullshitter Sorry, that part is a lie. It was Mrs Kunzt. I just realised that there 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) Most of the best moments in school came from my loveable but thick as f**k mate, Christ that boy was a legend. Some of his antics include: Being asked in front of the class who the leader of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was, and answering Wesley Snipes. His logic was "the name came in to my head, so I thought it might be true". Legend In the history class from the year before, the teacher tried the catching out the student who clearly isn't listening with a question technique. To her shock (as well as everyone else) he fired back with the correct answer. The question was something to do with the population increase in UK, and one of the answers was something to do with contraception. The lad was absolutely delighted with himself and from then on excitedly stuck his hand up to answer every question. Teacher: Can anyone explain what laissez-faire is? Mate: Is it contraception? Teacher: What caused the Irish potato famine? Mate: It was Contraception? Etc, etc. The teacher thought he was taking the piss, but he genuinely wasn't. He also enraged our media studies teacher after a year of critically examining The Matrix by constantly referencing the main character 'Neil' in his nab. :lol: Edited February 10, 2012 by SodjesSixteenIncher 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 A friend of mine when we were in 5th year got "whitewashed" by a group of 1st years. We all stood back and laughed . I got on the school bus once and all the 6th years with a few days of school left were down the front of the top deck where all the first-years sat. You know the score... the older you get, the further back you can go. Some kids' dream is to sit on that back seat with the guy in the middle being the alpha male. So, the first years came on and are a bit miffed about the situation. The 6th years say to them that they can have the back seats as they quite like it down there for a change. The first years go up to the back, living the dream and all that, only for the 6th years to then charge them and beat the shit out of them. Kids trapped upside down between seats, wedgies left right and centre, puddles of tears, you get the picture. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 That's not nice. Fucking bullies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigkillie Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I only got one set of lines during the whole of my school life and that was in 6th year for giving a mate my chemistry homework to copy so he wouldn't get any - stupid bugger copied it word for word. My friend once "borrowed" a few sentences from me for a French essay. The teacher handed it back, and the only comment was "Good work, Craig". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunfellaff Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I dont know re everyone else but it was bawz goin from being the top of the foodchain in Primrary to being a 1st year in Secondary. It sucked, even over 30 years later. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKee Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 And no one, not one of you, has connected piss and sewers to make a joke. Useless. I did! Yes, your 'privileged' upbringing has served you well what with being unemployed and still requiring toilet training. Never mind, you still have that acerbic wit about you... To be honest Andy, I'd have traded it all away for just one face-to-face encounter with an alligator. That's one thing a 4-acre private garden can't provide. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 I'm sure its happened on many occasions! Sure that wasn't Mr Gemmel that was letting the fireworks off? What age are you Kilbirniefan? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 A boy in my German class brought his imaginary friend Gary to class one day and gave him his own desk and chair before storming out the class half an hour in take Gary to the airport. To this day, no one knows if he genuinely believed Gary existed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginge123 Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Some of these are brilliant. In primary school one guy got his head stuck in a chair, one of those ones that have a hole at the back, the cry of "Help! My head's stuck" will live with me until the day I die. It turned out he'd turned his head just a little to far to one side and was too dumb to turn his head back. In sixth year Business Management, we, as a class, were looking up Ronald McDonald on Google images, it must have been for a project or something. For some reason there used to be a picture of a someone pulling there arsehole apart. The teacher was mortified safe to say, we were all disturbed. That Business class was a complete riot all year, I still managed to end up doing Management at uni. I don't think Mrs. Jackson could have given a f**k though she told us she used to be a pot head because "...everyone did it in the 70's". Ah, I miss school. Sometimes when I think about it I get genuinely sad that those last two years of high school are behind me. University isn't even close to that time of my life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooky Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 The best story i think is during my final 6th year Modern Studies exam. This was around 2pm in the day, and in a large gym hall, only rows D, E & F were being used. So it's halfway through the paper, and all of a sudden we hear a crash at the back of the hall. Maybe a jacket falling or something? No. Turns out one of the invigilators decided to sit on the wee desks you use, and the thing crumbled under her. We all turned round & whilst keeping a motionless face, she confidently said "I apolgise for the disturbance, please continue". I'm in my 4th year of High School right now but I can't remember anyone half of exciting and great as some of these stories! However, in November we had our German prelim. We were sitting in the room doing a general listening paper, with the credit listening to be sat after the reading. So the general listening CD comes to an end and we're being told to check over our answers by the 3 invigilators(all 70 year old women), but the CD keeps on playing and when one of the invigilator hears 'German - Credit Listening, Question 1" she sprints over the the computer that the CD is on and asks us how to turn it off! Needless to say that no one answered, excited about how this could go. Someone ended up saying 'press pause' so she started to pick up the mouse and tip it upside down and look for a button which said 'pause' on it! When that somehow never worked she ended up screaming 'GET THEM OUT! GET THEM OUT!' to the other invigilators, we never bothered to move and she had to run up the corridor to find a German teacher so she could pause of the CD! We had a substitute teacher in Physics once, who was also a 70 year old woman! About halfway during the lesson I was swinging back on my seat and lost my balance and fell off the chair onto the ground. The teacher than responded to this incident by saying 'Hello, was there anyone on that chair that just fell?', whilst I was lying on my back, legs way up above the desk. No real breakdowns or anything unfortunately! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 There was a boy in my class who would cry at anything, sound boy like, but sensitive as your bellend after a w**k. Started crying because he missed his little sister and he got to go home and see her. She was 2 days old. I'll think of more amusing stories later. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Two tenuously related tales. 1 When we were in 5th year at Rutherglen Academy 3 or 4 of us piled into the off licence in the Main Street to get a carry out as we had done many times before. Only to be confronted by our maths teacher who was supplementing his income by working part time there. He'll be retired now so no harm in divulging that he served us 2 Few weeks later I was working at my Saturday job in a boutique in Argylle Street when 3 guys came in holding up another 4th guy who was absolutely falling down smashed. One of the guys was wanting to buy a tie and as I was serving him I realised that the one who was totally pissed was the new young english teacher at our school. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamingparBoz Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 One of the computers in the library, for some wierd reason, always played the Football Italia intro tune when it got turned on at it's highest volume. The librarian always went nuts when someone went on that particular machine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I remember in 3rd and 4th year Computing our teacher Mr Ross (an Aberdeen fan) used to take abuse from pretty much everyone on a regular basis which he never responded to on any occasion except one time when one of my classmates shouted "oi Mr Ross, I've heard you like to shag sheep" to which Mr Ross instantly retorted with "aye, well a sheep would be better than any of your female relatives." What made it even better was the pupil had to be restrained whilst Mr Ross chuckled to himself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 We had a Computing teacher in second year who was an alcoholic. He stank of drink, his speech was slurred and he had the shakes. I'm convinced he lived in his cupboard, consuming a bottle of gin for breakfast. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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