School stories

[sugna]

1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said:

Words I haven't heard mentioned for 52 years

Try never.

I don't even know what a quadrilateral equation would look like.

[Jacksgranda]

3 minutes ago, sugna said:

Try never.

I don't even know what a quadrilateral equation would look like.

Neither am I but I have heard of them.

[sugna]

3 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Neither am I but I have heard of them.

I'd be surprised.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

16 minutes ago, sugna said:

Try never.

I don't even know what a quadrilateral equation would look like.

They supported The Soft Machine at the Roundhouse in 1973.

[Miguel Sanchez]

My teach teacher was a Morton fan rather than an alcoholic. The tech teachers were the soundest bunch there, the oldest was a miserable old b*****d but I doubt he drank, he'd probably have been a bit more perky if he did.

My PE teacher used to play for St. Mirren and made annual attempts at one of the 6th year girls at the end of year prom. 

I've just looked up my old school's twitter feed and discovered that one of those tech teachers retired this year and my old geography teacher who was like a more interesting version of Mullarkey with tales of going to India with the British Airways stewardess he used to "step out with" also retired. 

My old maths teacher's still there and she's not aging well.

 

[Empty It]

My PE teacher used to play for St. Mirren and made annual attempts at one of the 6th year girls at the end of year prom. 

 

Had a physics teacher who used to do this, most years successfully, chatted up young lassies in 3rd and 4th year then took them home after prom in 6th year, definitely a beast.

[BFTD]

8 hours ago, thistledo said:

Why is it the maths department always had a wee separate block from the main school? Or was that just mine. 

One of the "proper" (not a portacabin) bricks-and-mortar buildings at my school was reserved for maths, but they'd started using the upstairs for IT sometime before we started there.

IT classes consisted of the poorer maths teachers trying to pretend that they knew how computers worked while we practiced typing. Light years away from what my son does at school. That was in the early Nineties too, well after the BBC Micro revolution.

[Thorongil]

9 minutes ago, BFTD said:

One of the "proper" (not a portacabin) bricks-and-mortar buildings at my school was reserved for maths, but they'd started using the upstairs for IT sometime before we started there.

IT classes consisted of the poorer maths teachers trying to pretend that they knew how computers worked while we practiced typing. Light years away from what my son does at school. That was in the early Nineties too, well after the BBC Micro revolution.

Our “Computing” class was pretty pathetic. “This is a keyboard. This is a screen”. “Type code into this obsolete BBC for an hour”. 
 

But there was a control switch on the wall which would reset all of the BBCs. One day Mr Crainey said he was popping out and gave us instruction that we were on no account to press this button. 
 

Iain Jack was a boy in my class. Cracking guy but always up for doing something a bit off the wall, and quite funny. He would do backflips behind teachers backs in class and the like. 
 

Anyway, this button was like forbidden fruit to him. After a bit of urging “c’mon Jack, just dae it, it’ll be funny” etc he duly marched up the wall and hit the button. Everyone’s screen’s went blank. 
 

crainey came back in and went fucking bezerk demanding to know who pressed it. Not a soul grassed.

[BFTD]

Our first two years of IT classes were spent on the BBCs the school had bought/been sent back in 1982 (or whenever). They'd been left on all day for almost a decade by that point, and the monitors had burn-in so bad that the text welcome screen was perfectly preserved no matter what it was actually supposed to be showing. Just a nightmare trying to read anything through it. Funniest thing was that we'd get yelled at for leaving the monitors switched on at the end of class, like it made any fucking difference by that point.

 

Here's a picture for our younger members - the CRT from a Pac-Man arcade cabinet. That's it turned off. Burn-in isn't an issue for modern monitors, but imagine trying to browse P&B with that superimposed over the page  

[Hedgecutter]

Higher Computing for me was nothing more than a choice to fill a 'column' in order to stay on in sixth year to get an improved grade in maths.

I would do little but dick about as I never had the internet at home, hence access to it was a bit of a novelty.  During a "I want nothing but silence for 10 mins" moment from the teacher, I was playing around with Winamp and somehow managed to play "I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer..." with the volume up full.

I got taken into the cupboard for a one-to-one (breaking a few modern rules there no doubt) and asked if I had a learning disability.  Although it was probably a shite attempt at reverse psychology, that one moment knocked my confidence for years and still has a lingering effect.

Edited August 26, 2021 by Hedgecutter

[thistledo]

14 hours ago, BFTD said:

One of the "proper" (not a portacabin) bricks-and-mortar buildings at my school was reserved for maths, but they'd started using the upstairs for IT sometime before we started there.

IT classes consisted of the poorer maths teachers trying to pretend that they knew how computers worked while we practiced typing. Light years away from what my son does at school. That was in the early Nineties too, well after the BBC Micro revolution.

Yeah it was a portacabin at the arse end of the building, although the interior was significantly nicer than most of the rest of the classrooms, so I can't work out if they hated the maths teachers or not. I used to be good at it, until 2nd year and I had this awful teacher, who was fat and didn't seem to give a f**k about teaching. She was one of those "the bell is for me, not for you lot" mostly this was confined to lunch time, for a big lass, she beat more or less everyone to to the front of the lunch queue and from the maths block, with her BMI that was impressive. 

12 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

I got taken into the cupboard for a one-to-one (breaking a few modern rules there no doubt) and asked if I had a learning disability.  Although it was probably a shite attempt at reverse psychology, that one moment knocked my confidence for years and still has a lingering effect.

Discipline in school over the years is an interesting thing, the enquiry of learning difficulties is a really shitty thing to do, probably they were having a bad day / period in life. 

In 1st year my guidance teacher tried to make me stand up and apologise to her in front of the class. Except she wanted to be addressed by her name which I never realised so after repeating things many times, feeling massively embarrassed as classmates laughed at the situation, I muttered "f**k this" and sat down. I've never seen a teacher so incandescent with rage over something so minor, she stormed over and if she could have would have tried to throw me out the class. Instead I was asked to stand outside for more or less the majority of the class. I think this was my first week of secondary school. I utterly detested this woman. This certainly had an effect on me, more or less from then on I took no shit from any teacher and was probably an absolute little c**t of a pupil. I'd say a total power play from her that had the complete opposite effect. 

[The Derry]

One of the history teachers in our school used to buy drugs from people in my year.

[andy25]

My science teacher died of alcoholism when I was in 2nd year.
School chaplain was convicted of being a beast and went to prison. He later committed suicide

Take it you went to Auchinleck Academy?
My English teacher murdered his wife and the Head was sacked/resigned after a trip to Gambia[emoji846]

[Wile E Coyote]

16 minutes ago, andy25 said:

Take it you went to Auchinleck Academy?
My English teacher murdered his wife and the Head was sacked/resigned after a trip to Gambia

Yes. I think there was more to that Gambia trip than came out.

The head was a strange guy. It was him that brought Clem Robb into the school

[andy25]

Yes. I think there was more to that Gambia trip than came out.
The head was a strange guy. It was him that brought Clem Robb into the school

Yip Robb was a strange wee guy as well.
Remember reading in the papers some of the things he was convicted of. Pretty shocking.

[BFTD]

The wife likes to regale folk with when one of her high school teachers was revealed as an FBI agent. There was a big sting operation in the county, and one of their gym teachers was busted for involvement in dealing to kids.

Just looked the school up and it sounds like they still have a drug problem, and also may have had a celebration during her time there where 50 live chickens were “beaten, kicked like footballs, hurled through the air, stuffed into lockers, and run over by cars.”  

[Thorongil]

9 hours ago, thistledo said:

Yeah it was a portacabin at the arse end of the building, although the interior was significantly nicer than most of the rest of the classrooms, so I can't work out if they hated the maths teachers or not. I used to be good at it, until 2nd year and I had this awful teacher, who was fat and didn't seem to give a f**k about teaching. She was one of those "the bell is for me, not for you lot" mostly this was confined to lunch time, for a big lass, she beat more or less everyone to to the front of the lunch queue and from the maths block, with her BMI that was impressive. 

Discipline in school over the years is an interesting thing, the enquiry of learning difficulties is a really shitty thing to do, probably they were having a bad day / period in life. 

In 1st year my guidance teacher tried to make me stand up and apologise to her in front of the class. Except she wanted to be addressed by her name which I never realised so after repeating things many times, feeling massively embarrassed as classmates laughed at the situation, I muttered "f**k this" and sat down. I've never seen a teacher so incandescent with rage over something so minor, she stormed over and if she could have would have tried to throw me out the class. Instead I was asked to stand outside for more or less the majority of the class. I think this was my first week of secondary school. I utterly detested this woman. This certainly had an effect on me, more or less from then on I took no shit from any teacher and was probably an absolute little c**t of a pupil. I'd say a total power play from her that had the complete opposite effect. 

I was similar at school. Nobody could say I was bad but I enjoyed a carry on, which is entirely normal. I figure if you don’t want to work with teenagers then you shouldn’t be a secondary teacher. 

I got on fine with any decent teacher but any who tried to intimidate (male or female), I would take greats pleasure in defying and generally winding up.

 

Edited August 25, 2021 by Thorongil

[mathematics]

This guy taught me how to bang… drums.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/pervert-music-teacher-who-abused-1019538.amp

[Miguel Sanchez]

My school was one of those that had a renovation period and temporary huts for much longer than originally intended. The new part of the building was made for the modern languages (French and Italian) department.

When we got smartboards and projectors installed, we used them for a few months before the summer. When the new year started, the builders had stolen all the projectors.

[WeAreElgin]

When I was in 3rd year I told the school photographer to "shut it" because of his exceptionally poor patter. He went into a screaming meltdown and got one of the 6th years to escort me to the head teacher. Was told to show a bit more respect, didn't really think much of it and went to my next class. The next day I was told I was banned from the school photos, scored an annual free period out of it.