School stories

[ScottR96]

Were you home schooled?

Did she get charged with disturbing the piece?

He's on fire!

[sugna]

One of my best mates inadvertantly 'faked his own death.'

He was out during the week and had to get his stomach pumped. When some dunst from the year below asked whether he had got through it, somebody sarcastically quipped "naw he's dead." This started a horrific chain of Chinese whispers which led to exams cancelled, emergency councillors etc. There was a special assembly called so the lad could apologise to everyone, which provided the worst 'this would be a bad time to laugh, therefore I really, really want to laugh' moment.

Just seen this quoted in another thread.

 

Broughton HS, class of 2007?

[Shandon Par]

I remember a person who went on to play and coach around a few lower league (though is legendary at just one of them) clubs being expelled for drug dealing and general gang warfare. 

[Raidernation]

Just seen this quoted in another thread.

 

Broughton HS, class of 2007?

Just after my brief spell teaching there, otherwise I'd surely remember.

 

Edit: wrong dates, I was there a couple of years earlier

Edited April 14, 2016 by Raidernation

[DDcups]

I threw a chair at a maths teacher and threw another teacher to the floor in 1st year. I done the teaching those days.

[The Chlamydia Kid]

Story from my school days. The full situation began with myself and the poster Tory Boy and one or two others getting involved in a bit of fisticuffs in a chippy at lunch time. By the end of the week it had escalated to make the papers.

[The Chlamydia Kid]

[Bobby Skidmarks]

I threw a chair at a maths teacher and threw another teacher to the floor in 1st year. I done the teaching those days.

Sure you did mate.

[Njord]

I once got the strap on from Vivienne Welsh for persistently moving a cone during a game of softball.

ftfy

[lionel hutz]

I once got the strap from Vivienne Welsh for persistently moving a cone during a game of softball.

Who the fúck is Vivienne Welsh?

[Miguel Sanchez]

I hated maths and don't remember anything about it, so I've no idea what this is actually called, but something we had to work out involved figuring out where the answer lay somewhere on a graph. This is the pneumonic for remembering it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Students_Take_Calculus

After our teacher told us to try and come up with our own versions, one boy says he has one but it's a bit rude. Fine, she says, on you go. "All Sadacts Teabag Children." Pandemonium as all the boys in the class collapse with laughter and the girls all look around each other, bemused. Maths the next day sees the boy who came up with it standing at the front looking sheepish stood next to the teacher who was furious. Nobody had the nerve to ask her how she find out.

I also had a PE teacher who used to play for St. Mirren and who would always try to get fired in to a girl at prom at the end of the year. I'd love to be able to remember specific stories as hilarious as the ones I've read in this thread, but that's the best I can do.

[Tom Rogic]

My PE teacher said he played for Bo'Ness Utd when they won the Scottish Junior Cup but doubt it based on the fact he was shite when he took us for fitba...perhaps 8mileBU can confirm or deny if an Ian Miller played for them late 70's early 80's ??

He did though coach the St Modans school team that won the Scottish Schools cup in the early 80's of which my brother played alongside Gordon Connolly who went on to play for Ross County and Brian Ross who played for The Shire

[DrewDon]

I threw a chair at a maths teacher and threw another teacher to the floor in 1st year. I done the teaching those days.

Just not the English teaching, thankfully. 

[sugna]

This is the pneumonic for remembering it:

To quote the Robot Devil, "Now that's irony!"

[Jan Vojáček]

A guy I went to school with had a back spasm in the middle of a Standard Grade maths class, which was pretty hilarious (for us, not him)

He flopped off his chair, and was writhing about on the floor. Our teacher laughed at first and was then like "Lewis, come on, stop this" etc.

He ended up being wheelchaired out of school, infront of pretty much the whole year.

When I was in first year I got my knee cap cracked by a hockey ball.

Without a doubt however my absolute highlight of school was my Computing teacher who was an enormous Rangers fan, but would never say it publicly.

Top 3 moments from Mr H:

3) After Falkirk knocked Rangers out the cup (3-2 Mark Millar injury time free-kick iirc) He overheard me and a mate talking about Falkirk playing Dumbarton; wanders up behind us and quietly says "Falkirk? Yes. I personally HATE Falkirk".

2) Speaking about acronyms in Computing, and we were asked to give a few examples. A lad in the class contributes "WATP" and Mr H writes it up, before asking "What does that stand for, Sean, we are top programmers?"

Swift thinking from him to be fair.

1) Without a doubt the best moment however was when we had him for PSE. He was attempting to explain how people can be talented, but if you don't put the effort in. Word perfectly this is what he said:

"Take for example the footballer, Craig Bellamy, a few years ago he was causing trouble at Newcastle United. So, as a punishment for his behaviour they sent him on loan to the Manky Mob".

Keeping a straight face at that point was a real struggle.

The thing is he would never, ever, admit he was a Rangers fan. If you asked him he'd just smile and say "Nope, I only support Pollok".

He was literally one of the only highlights of going to school in Milngavie. A school where one the guys in my year's yearbook quote was; "I like rugby because it's masculine and middle class, like me". *Shudder*

[Hedgecutter]

Story from my school days. The full situation began with myself and the poster Tory Boy and one or two others getting involved in a bit of fisticuffs in a chippy at lunch time. By the end of the week it had escalated to make the papers.

 

Was this actually a protestant vs catholic driven thing or just your pretty common school vs school fight which the media have used as an excuse for a sectarian story?  Strathclyde Police (then anyway) love any excuse to get the horses out of the stables.

[FuzzyBear]

My PE teacher said he played for Bo'Ness Utd when they won the Scottish Junior Cup but doubt it based on the fact he was shite when he took us for fitba...perhaps 8mileBU can confirm or deny if an Ian Miller played for them late 70's early 80's ??

He did though coach the St Modans school team that won the Scottish Schools cup in the early 80's of which my brother played alongside Gordon Connolly who went on to play for Ross County and Brian Ross who played for The Shire

 

He did indeed play for the Beggars at that time.

[The Chlamydia Kid]

Was this actually a protestant vs catholic driven thing or just your pretty common school vs school fight which the media have used as an excuse for a sectarian story? Strathclyde Police (then anyway) love any excuse to get the horses out of the stables.

Just school rivalry really. Can't even mind why the fight started in the chippy Tory boy would know more think I was outside when it happened and he was inside where in started and spilled out. Next day we took a few extra bodies up to keep us safe they brought more the following day. This escalated till it was about 300 per side (with about 2 or 3 actually throwing punches).

Suppose the sectarian aspect would have drummed up some additional interest.

The newspaper report uses every cliche going- fear for passing kids and mothers- CHECK

Feeling physically sick- CHECK

Horror film reference- CHECK

I actually thought the helicopter was out for it but that must be my memory playing tricks on me as I also though the main climax was a Friday but the paper says a Tuesday.

Edited April 15, 2016 by The Chlamydia Kid

[ebbes20silkcut]

I went to inverurie academy for secondary school.

Don't know if there are any other former pupils on here.

We had teachers, stinky stables, he reeked of b.o. and was caught with prostitutes in his car, I had my money on him being a paedo,

Technical teacher nicknamed spook,

No real bad ones,

We had a bomb scare at school, a lad in my wee brothers year took in an old hand grenade he found in his garden., que school evacuation.

We had the usual rotten egg stink bombs detonated on a regular occasions.

After school waiting for the bus, something used to get sent on the " ice pole run"

Sent to buy ice poles, from the shop around 4-500 yards away, the challenge to get back before bus came , the run included at that time crossing the Inverness to Aberdeen road which went through Inverurie at that time,

No one ever missed the bus but was a few close calls,

We had the usual scraps, ever everyone chanted "scrap, scrap" and they wondered how the teachers knew, well all that chanting and 100s of spectators.

[deadasdillinger]

I like reminiscing about school days, me...

https://t.co/K7oOJyqD9Q