School stories

[Mushroom]

[Hedgecutter]

Could someone from Queen Anne please post the story of the huge tyre rolling down the road? Heard it ages ago and nearly McKee'd myself

At high school (Queen Anne in Dunferline to be exact) me and my mates were walking back from from the town to the school at lunch time. Cue a giant tractor wheel bouncing down Pilmuir street! Luckily we were on the side of the golf course, and the tire was on the other side of the street. We actually thought it was hilarious. Apparently it had come off the back of a truck, and actually hit someone, who was luckily just bruised and avoided any major injury, which was suprising as it was going at some pelt.

This must have been either 2000, 2001 or 2002.

It's not nearly as funny without the image of the girl trying to outrun it down the hill that is Pilmuir St.

[H_B]

School I went to, was about a 10-15 minute walk into town, which quite a lot of kids did every day,..

I remember walking back and noticing, walking in front were a group of three girls from the year below, one of whom had clearly tucked her skirt into her tights in a wardrobe malfunction, so you could basically see her arse as she walked. Cue a hundred people sniggering and pointing for a mile, but not actually pointing this out to her.

Always felt bad about that, altough it would have been an awkward conversation, as I didn't know her at all. "Excuse me, do you know your knickers and arse are clearly visible as you've tucked your skirt into your tights"?

[K.T]

Konnie Huq once came to our school to give somebody a Blue Peter badge, for what I can't remember. I saw her from a distance.

My 6th year was spent playing poker in the common room. With real money, no chips. At first we just played with change from our lunch money but the amounts got higher and higher as the year went on. It became pretty serious. One boy was bringing in well over £100 for a day of gambling.

Guid ane!

[Kejan]

Guid ane!

Is it not spelled ein?

[K.T]

Gut Ein!

[smpar]

You're all about 2 months too late with the 'McPee' patter, I started that ages ago.

Please keep up.

I believe my art work followed up. Some fantastic brown-nosing went on that day.

[Pure Mental]

My School was dull as f*ck. From what I remember the only real moment of memorable hilarity occurred during a fire drill when a Boy in my year lobbed a Toffee Crisp down a crowded hallway, which belted off the cranium of an incredibly fat, repulsive Girl in my year and rather surprisingly knocking her out cold.

The best bit about it was that nobody really gave a f*ck about her well being, everybody just sort of stepped over her carcass and left the building, pishing themselves laughing.

Edited February 19, 2012 by Pure Mental

[craigkillie]

School I went to, was about a 10-15 minute walk into town, which quite a lot of kids did every day,..

I remember walking back and noticing, walking in front were a group of three girls from the year below, one of whom had clearly tucked her skirt into her tights in a wardrobe malfunction, so you could basically see her arse as she walked. Cue a hundred people sniggering and pointing for a mile, but not actually pointing this out to her.

Always felt bad about that, altough it would have been an awkward conversation, as I didn't know her at all. "Excuse me, do you know your knickers and arse are clearly visible as you've tucked your skirt into your tights"?

I think you made the right call to not tell her and instead engage in some discreet masturbation.

[capello]

Here's a couple of tales from my time in secondary school.

The normal PE teacher was off and we got this wee relief teacher and she asks what we normally done for PE and everyone shouts fitba,

as we hardly ever got a game of fitba unless it was end of term or it was scorching outside,the gym hall walls were finished in this expensive

veneer panelling and any game involving balls was banned as it damaged the panels hence we had to go outside for a game, must have been about 30 guys in the class and the decent players would get a game on the big pitch and the less gifted players who never got picked played on the hockey pitch amongst themselves in a game of worldy or 3 and u pick ,so we all get outside onto the park and get the game going,the wee women was pissed right off as she never had a clue what was happening and decided to halt the game and move everyone back inside as it was freezing,the game continued inside with a mitre 5 with about 15 aside,

the ceiling was about 40 foot high and the lights were now the target and not the makeshift goals we made from the benches,then the wall panels were getting panned in once she asked us to keep the ball low,the place was getting wrecked and the stand in teacher was going mental ,the gym hall was about 20 feet from the headmasters office,

but it was an old school and was built to withstand a nuclear bomb attack so nobody would have heard the destruction taking place in the gym hall,by this time the period was over and everyone was heading back to the changing rooms for showers and to get changed,dont know why it started but there was a guy called Ali and someone started singing "ali bongo ali ali bongo" then a few others joined in and eventually the whole class ,it was as loud as fcuk and obviously the wee women could not come in as it was all guys getting showered /changed ,next minute the headmaster and about 3 other teachers came charging in and started wading into all in their path,shouting you think you's are big men ,come ahead then,you have ruined a teachers life etc etc....

When it all died down there were boys crying ,the changing room looked like a bomb had went off and one by one everyone was marched into the headmasters office and asked what their part was in it,to be fair most admitted it and got 3 days suspension,the relief teacher never came back and a few weeks later she was working in her husbands butchers

shop ,obviously decided that it was not worth the hassle they never fixed the walls in the gym as I was in the school a few years back and the damage was still there,had a wee chuckle thinking back to the day it happened.

Second one was told to me by a guy I worked with ,don't know if it was an urban myth but was funny anyway.

Greenock academy was the place to be educated and was full of toffs from the west end but for some strange reason it also took guys in from the Gibby estate which was rough as fcuk and about 5 miles away remember someone saying it was the nearest schoool in the catchment area,hence they went here.

Anyway was told that one of the gibby boys took a ten pin bowling ball into the school one day,it was a popular pastime down here

at the time and the bowling alley was close to the school which adds credence to the story,anyway the school playground is built on a steep hill which runs for about 100 meters downhill at about 35 degrees ,the nutter rolls the bowling ball downhill and shouts to a few unsuspecting first years at the bottom of the hill "at baw wee man" to which they all start pushing and shoving each other out the road to toe the ball back up to the big guy at the top of the hill,the wee guy who decided to boot it back up the hill was like something out a cartoon as his toes and leg just shattered when he booted it ,sounds to good to be true but if it happened must have been funny ,hope he made a full recovery!!

Edited February 19, 2012 by capello

[Gaz]

One of the PE teachers at my old school was well-known for carrying out several inappropriate relationships with older female pupils. "Half A Person" should be able to confirm.

Edited February 19, 2012 by Gaz

[Gaz FFC]

One of the PE teachers at my old school was well-known for carrying out several inappropriate relationships with older female pupils. "Half A Person" should be able to confirm.

Falkirk High?

[Michael W]

Our history teacher Mr Pointer after he lost a bet over which students would pass the prelim. He still owes me a pint.

He taught me at KHS in 1st and 2nd year. Good to see he's still as mad as ever.

He was an excellent teacher - happy to have a laugh with the class, but was also one of those teachers that had the ability to control a class without trying to. You knew fine well not to mess about.

Does he still insist on wearing odd socks on a Friday?

[Gaz]

Falkirk High?

Graeme High.

[Tenpot]

Graeme High.

Lenny Reid ?

[itzdrk]

i remember this one day in music i was sitting minding my own business listening to my music (worked out after i grew my hair i stopped getting caught listening to it haha)

and all of a sudden this girl tries to get me in the face with a marker pen , unfortunately for her she missed, and i decided i would get her back so i obtained one and tried to get her back

unfortunately i also missed, however she was obese , to call her fat would be an insult to the weight this girl truely carried, and in order to avoid being penned she went on the back two legs of the chair the back two legs couldnt handle the pressure and bent all the way to the bit thats on your back and as she hit the ground her sheer fatness was enough to snap the two front legs

this same girl one day outside home ec was trying to be a wido again and i cant quite remember how it came to this point but she claimed she didnt like chocolate and had only eaten it once

que me unzipping the part of her bag we knew she kept about 40 chocolate bars in and them falling all over the floor

well known peadophile teacher Brian Lobodzinski was there breifly

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Teacher+had+1000+child+porn+images%3B+EXCLUSIVE.-a0121055447

he was there in 2002 for a small period

also turns out the teacher i was saying about earlier in the thread

it turns out one of my now mates made him a myspace page after i left (its obviously a couple years old now)

http://www.myspace.com/bjhazelhurst

dunno if you can make out just how bad his hair truely is in the pictures

but good to see folk were still having a laugh at his expense after i left

[NotThePars]

He taught me at KHS in 1st and 2nd year. Good to see he's still as mad as ever.

He was an excellent teacher - happy to have a laugh with the class, but was also one of those teachers that had the ability to control a class without trying to. You knew fine well not to mess about.

Does he still insist on wearing odd socks on a Friday?

I left school two years ago but as far as I know yes.

Did he ever discuss his ex wife 'The Beast' or his jakey brother from Maryhill? He was the ideal teacher to have in a secondary school, treated the 1st-4th years with nothing but contempt until they passed his subject then treated the seniors as adults. Our Higher class used to be structured around a feudal system with those that passed in the castle and those that failed in the village. Naturally, I was the King.

[Hedgecutter]

He was the ideal teacher to have in a secondary school, treated the 1st-4th years with nothing but contempt until they passed his subject then treated the seniors as adults.

I think most teachers are like this tbh. I certainly would be too and teaching 1st and 2nd years must be hellish. In 5th and 6th year, suddenly you're there because you want to be there, not simply because of the column system we used use for picking SGs where a subject could be the pick of a bad bunch you don't really have much interest in (e.g. one of Computing, Graph Comm, Home Economics, Business Management etc).

Looking back on it, I was pretty bad at pissing about in those I couldn't be arsed with yet got glowing reports from my chemistry, physics and geography teachers as that's where my interest was. Computing was there for free internet seeing as home internet wasn't that commonplace at the time and was pay by the minute where it was. Naturally I my computing teacher and I never got on very well but I really liked and got on well with my geography teacher, which I thought was weird seeing as the two of them were married to each other.

I've also had a computing flashback from where the teacher shouting across at me "You had better not be fooling around again over there!". I pleaded that I wasn't only for a Simpsons video to blast out "I am evil homer, dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!!!" loud enough for every class along the corridor to hear it. That didn't go down too well.

Edited February 22, 2012 by Hedgecutter

[11thHour]

i remember this one day in music i was sitting minding my own business listening to my music (worked out after i grew my hair i stopped getting caught listening to it haha)

and all of a sudden this girl tries to get me in the face with a marker pen , unfortunately for her she missed, and i decided i would get her back so i obtained one and tried to get her back

unfortunately i also missed, however she was obese , to call her fat would be an insult to the weight this girl truely carried, and in order to avoid being penned she went on the back two legs of the chair the back two legs couldnt handle the pressure and bent all the way to the bit thats on your back and as she hit the ground her sheer fatness was enough to snap the two front legs

this same girl one day outside home ec was trying to be a wido again and i cant quite remember how it came to this point but she claimed she didnt like chocolate and had only eaten it once

que me unzipping the part of her bag we knew she kept about 40 chocolate bars in and them falling all over the floor.

You two well fancied each other.

I caught a substitute teacher picking his nose, rolling it in his fingers for a good minute and then gubbing it. The teacher he was standing in for also done something similar as well as one guy in our class putting chewing gum in his coffee weekly for him to never notice. Not when we were there anyway.

[woodside]

I mind on one of the p.c.s in my computing class someone had drawn a brilliant, detailed picture of an erect boaby on ms paint and saved it to the hard drive. Everyone used to try and get this computer when we had a period of computing before break or lunch so that you could set it to print 100 copies as you were leaving the classroom.