die hard doonhamer Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 The only story I can think of is when one of the french teachers was off and left the supply teacher a video to show her class. At the end of the video it cut out to full on gay porn. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Mongo del Fantastico Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Do that Gideons lot still hand out bibles at some point in RE these days? When they came in to our RE class back when I were lad (early 90s) a guy called Adam got handed one, where upon he sat sat down and started to slowly rip the pages out one by one and ate them. A suspension ensued. Was funny as feck at the time though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael W Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Rector: "As half of you will know, a very serious incident took place in the last class and I would like to speak to some of you regarding what was said to your R.E. teacher Mr Tully" [Girl stands up and shouts very loudly]: Girl: "Sir, she called him a f***ing Irish b*****d, Sir!" We also had an Irish RE teacher called Mr Tully. Surely it can't be the same one? My abiding memory of him is him coming in to take the register one morning with a metre of toilet role hanging out of his trousers. I've still no idea how he managed that one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooky Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Do that Gideons lot still hand out bibles at some point in RE these days? When they came in to our RE class back when I were lad (early 90s) a guy called Adam got handed one, where upon he sat sat down and started to slowly rip the pages out one by one and ate them. A suspension ensued. Was funny as feck at the time though. We were given one a couple of years ago(small red bible), unfortunately no one done that! Edited February 12, 2012 by Sooky 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) I went to Webster's High School in Kirriemuir from 1985 to 1991, and i think it's fair to say, a large number of the teachers there were somewhat eccentric. Maths teachers seemed to be especially bonkers. One, Angus Cameron was most definitely a massive alcoholic, and had been for a long long time. He was commonly referred to as "Drac" due to his alarming similarity to a Scooby Doo villain and his sunken, white features made him look somewhat undead. Well not now, as he IS actually dead. We had another guy called Mr Welsh, who had a spectacular bowl cut, and an allergy to man made fibres. He turned up to teach wearing a kilt (complete with sandals and skean dhu), a velvet pullover and the campest accent known to man. I think he had a break down a few years after i left. Other weirdos included buck-toothed French teacher Miss Kingston, who spoke the entire lesson in French, only lapsing into English to use the phrase "Idiot boy"; Dr Romberg who was a Latin Teacher with the build of Jaws from the James Bond films and also a prospective Liberal Democrat candidate for one of the Dundee MP seats in the late 80s. She got about 47 votes and didn't react well to the pish-taking. We also had two rather contrasting footballers for teachers. One was ex-Dundee and Scotland midfielder Bobby Robinson. He taught English and was a pretty good guy, and also an excellent teacher. Sadly passed away a couple of years ago i think. The other was a short-arsed Junior footballer called Mr Hearne. He had major wee-man complex and took it out on us in PE. If a football match was too one-sided he'd play on one of the teams to even it up a bit. I skinned him once and he completely halfed me. c**t. We later found out he played for Forfar Albion, so naturally went to one of their games and harangued him from start to finish. He was fucking shite . Clearly this was youthful stupidity as the fucker dropped football for cross country running for the next fortnight. Edited February 12, 2012 by jupe1407 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Our headteacher is obsessed with uniform - more specifically blazers. You must be wearing your blazer at all times in the school building - although you have the option to wear them in class. Anyway, the poster 'Sao Paulo' on here was a few years above me, and he was on the sideline watching the 6th year football team. The headteacher was coach of the 6th year team, and they let in 2 late goals to lose a game 2-1. The head was absolutely livid, going mental on the touchline etc. Sao Paulo looked at him and went "We wouldn't have shipped those two goals if we were wearing our blazers, eh sir?" He went fucking crazy and I'm sure SP was summoned to the head's office the next day! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Our headteacher came to our scottish cup game in dunfermline one time. We got 4 boys sent off and the match abandoned. The team wasn't allowed to play another game. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) We also had an Irish RE teacher called Mr Tully. Surely it can't be the same one? My abiding memory of him is him coming in to take the register one morning with a metre of toilet role hanging out of his trousers. I've still no idea how he managed that one. I was at Queen Anne in Dunfermline so it's a 99.99999% certainty. One of our PE teachers also played for Brechin at the time which was pretty decent for complimentary tickets but pretty crap supporting a team so shite that your teacher plays for them. He certainly played your mob in the league though. Edited February 12, 2012 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islay Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Was it Smeato? Smeato is an absolute legend! Doolan was the other one I remember, googly eyes. That could be Smeaton? The one and only Smeato! Doolan did indeed have googly eyes, folk were scared of him but he wasn't all that bad. He always reminded me of a googly eyed version of this chap! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 When I was in fourth year, just before the Easter holidays a few of the guys in my class decided that it would be funny to lock our teacher in the room at the bottom of the class (the Techy department). They did it and started mocking the bloke, calling him a baldy fucker etc.. What they didn't bank on was that he had every single students' portfolio in the same room. Along with a massive circular saw. He told us that he had them and what he intended to do with them, but everyone thought he was bluffing. He put 13 through in the end before the idiots who locked him in there decided to let him out, as we all thought that he was bluffing. He left shortly after this, as parents were obviously outraged (think the portfolio counted for 30% of your overall mark). What made it worse was he put through a couple of portfolios that belonged to students who were not actually there that day. We had a janny that got caught wanking in the IT room to some midget porn. Lost his house and his job, and made the nationals. Poor bloke. A guy I went to school with got remanded in custody for an attempted murder charge in 2005, when he was still at school. He made the front pages for trying to murder the guy that killed Jodie Jones. Fairly certain he is serving a life term now (the guy I went to school with). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islay Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I remember an incident at DHS when a glass window was 'removed' from it's original place and it plummeted towards the ground from about 10-15 ft. No idea how it fell, I assume someone noticed it was maybe a bit loose and decided to give it a little kick or just pushed it clean out. I was just around the corner from when it fell towards the ground. Unfortunately there was someone standing underneath it when it fell and it landed flat on his head. The aftermath wasn't pretty. For some reason one of the janitors, who was nearby, decided to walk him towards the main entrance of the school in an attempt to get him quicker medical attention. It was like a scene from a horror movie as his head was cracked open and there was blood pouring out of it. There was just a trail of it from where the incident occurred to where he eventually collapsed. He didn't die however he must have suffered some form of after effects, he is lucky to still be alive. Not many people can say they were hit by a falling glass window. It was like the PG version of this: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAZOR Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Jesus Christ, i'm gonna have a field day with this! At our 6th year prom/graduation, we (prefects) were given the responsibilty of giving awards for everyone in our year (i got the "Gay best friend award'' ) During 5th year (I think), I used to dog English as i really couldn't be fucked with it. On a Tuesday & Friday we'd have it after lunch, so i'd spend 55mins in the boys toilets waiting for the next subject to come (because the toilets were still open). On one occasion, the day after we got our exam results back (which i never bothered going in for) i found everyone bar 1 (male & female) in the boys toilets hiding from Mrs Livingston. Some time later in the year, i walked in to find a younger guy sitting in one of the sinks having a w**k. I told everyone about this, and that's why i got my prom award. Ah i loved school. :lol: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Sao Paulo looked at him and went "We wouldn't have shipped those two goals if we were wearing our blazers, eh sir?" Sao Paulo looked at him and went "One might postulate that were the participants garbed in blazers, the relinquishing of two late goals mayhaps have been averted, eh sir?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 One day a dog ran in the school. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigkillie Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Sao Paulo looked at him and went "One might postulate that were the participants garbed in blazers, the relinquishing of two late goals mayhaps have been averted, eh sir?" I was going to post something similar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave020 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 The PE changing rooms used to bring much hilarity. I can remember one time in first year when two of my pals were lightly spitting into an upturned hand-dryer and watching the spit travel across the room (sad but funny when you are 12) towards an unsuspecting victim. Picture the scene, two of them standing on the bench seats facing each other, either side of the dryer, when one boy gets rather excited and decides to step it up a notch. "Ho, lads, watch this"...***gets the flem from the back of his throat*** **SPITS** Of course, the dryer isn't powerful enough to fly this massive flemmy grog across the room and instead it hits my pal standing across from him in the face. Needless to say everyone absolutely pished themselves of laughing, apart from my pal who was nearly in tears with a massive blob of flem running down his cheek Also, egged and floured my pal on his last day in sixth year in the corridor. Was in the middle of pouring flour all over him when the cleaner appeared looking less than impressed...felt slightly bad for that as the flour and egg was all over the corridor and up a staircase where we had chased him. Got an alternative exclusion for that as well. Set my friends hand on fire (anti-perspirant sprayed for 30 secs so it is like a flammable liquid running over your hand then set alight) as part of a jackass style programme I was making for a group project in media. No idea how we didn't get excluded for that as his hand was a proper state for months and the video evidence was pretty damming. I doubt Captain Schettino would even bother trying to talk himself out of that. I always said that school was easy and fun but not everyone realises it till they are working full time. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goran Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 One day a dog ran in the school. This is/ probably would have been the best. That or a bird flying in a classroom window. One time in my PE class some of the minky guys were being dicks mucking about in a cupboard while the teacher was showing us basketball drills. He was getting pretty raging so he absolutely punted a basketball at the cupboard. He caught the ball perfectly and just as he had made the connection one of the guys, popped his head out to see what was going on. The ball smacked him square in the puss and his nose exploded. There was a mix of complete shock and utter hilarity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YerMaw Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My dads pal once told me a story of something that happend in my school, before my time of attending the school. At our school we had a grassy hill which had quite a steep gradient. Pucture kids standing at the bottom of this steep hill chatting. 1st or 2nd year boys. At the top of this hill there are a couple of 6th year lads with the shell of a football and a bowling ball. You can imagine surely. The 6th year lads filled the shell of an old leather football with a similar sized bowling ball and taped it up. One of the lads rolled it down the hill and shouted to the young lads at the bottom "awllll mate that ball" Picture the young lad smacking this shell filled with a bowling ball with quite a bit of force. Ouccchhhh shattered foot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Aw cos there are spare.bowling balls everywhere 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 My dads pal once told me a story of something that happend in my school, before my time of attending the school. At our school we had a grassy hill which had quite a steep gradient. Pucture kids standing at the bottom of this steep hill chatting. 1st or 2nd year boys. At the top of this hill there are a couple of 6th year lads with the shell of a football and a bowling ball. You can imagine surely. The 6th year lads filled the shell of an old leather football with a similar sized bowling ball and taped it up. One of the lads rolled it down the hill and shouted to the young lads at the bottom "awllll mate that ball" Picture the young lad smacking this shell filled with a bowling ball with quite a bit of force. Ouccchhhh shattered foot. Sounds like something out of Tom & Jerry. Did the young lad run in to an ironing board shortly after? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.