Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Threads like these make you realize how lucky you are to have been raised outwith the sewers. Yes, your 'privileged' upbringing has served you well what with being unemployed and still requiring toilet training. Never mind, you still have that acerbic wit about you... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Bloody hell. Where to start. I generally disliked school, but have many memories of my time there. In summary, I split a classmate's head open (kind of accidentally); damaged a teacher's car (not kind of accidentally) and was suspended for a week as a result; my high school HT referred to me as 'an arrogant and conceited young man' (my finest moment, I genuinely believe); doing the Grange Hill humming gag with my entire geography class to great effect (one of my fondest memories that one); and blackmailing the teachers who accompanied us on a trip to Norway in order that I wasn't confined to my cabin and could get to the drink. Not all on the same day, right enough. Christ, I really was an obnoxious little shit 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Threads like these make you realize how lucky you are to have been raised outwith the sewers. Yo dude, I heard you pissed your pants. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 doing the Grange Hill humming gag with my entire geography class to great effect (one of my fondest memories that one); What is the Grange Hill humming gag? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I seen a guy do that thing once where you blow a condom up over your head with your nose. He couldn't burst it though and he was running out of breath and started running about the corridor panicking. He ran head first into the fire alarm and the condom burst as the alarm went off. I'm pretty sure he got suspended for that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 What is the Grange Hill humming gag? During class, someone starts humming - just a single tone, not a tune. This should be relatively quiet at first, but gradually, others join in. The teacher will notice this and start to look a bit perplexed, and possibly slightly irritated (our geography teacher kept pausing to look out the window). As more classmates join in, the teacher can no longer dismiss the droning sound, and will ask the class what the noise is. Of course, one person breaking off to innocently confirm that he has no idea sir, doesn't make any impact on the ongoing noise, and the teacher remains powerless to accuse any individual pupil of causing this disturbance. This is actually quite a sophisticated jape, and can be carried over to the next time the class meets (though that isn't very classy - no pun intended), or - and this is more effective - the sound can oscillate and gradually cease altogether if your classmates can appreciate the subtlety of such strategies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilbirniefan Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 A boy in my year brought a firework into school one day, f**k knows why, and someone in the year above lit it and threw it into a crowd, thankfully it never hit anyone! Last year a boy in my year shat himself in the toilets, shit up all up the cubicle walls and that , his excuse for the smell was that "he was sick" which clearly wasn't true as he left his shit covered boxers in the bin Also been told that a few weeks ago the same thing happened when he was on the way to training in his mums car! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 One of my best mates inadvertantly 'faked his own death.' He was out during the week and had to get his stomach pumped. When some dunst from the year below asked whether he had got through it, somebody sarcastically quipped "naw he's dead." This started a horrific chain of Chinese whispers which led to exams cancelled, emergency councillors etc. There was a special assembly called so the lad could apologise to everyone, which provided the worst 'this would be a bad time to laugh, therefore I really, really want to laugh' moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 One of my best mates inadvertantly 'faked his own death.' He was out during the week and had to get his stomach pumped. When some dunst from the year below asked whether he had got through it, somebody sarcastically quipped "naw he's dead." This started a horrific chain of Chinese whispers which led to exams cancelled, emergency councillors etc. There was a special assembly called so the lad could apologise to everyone, which provided the worst 'this would be a bad time to laugh, therefore I really, really want to laugh' moment. One of my pals on being asked why he hadn't done his computing homework one time turned to the teacher and said, 'MY MUM DIED'. His mum was at parents evening a few weeks later. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YerMaw Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) Did anyone ever play the game of "Boagies"? Basically you start off really quiet, saying the word Boagies, then others join in and it gradually gets louder untill the point that someone is screaming BOAGIESSSSSSSS. Got a fair few laughs at this as there was always someone in the class willing to fucking scream it. Edited February 10, 2012 by YerMaw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uni Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Did anyone ever play the game of "Boagies"? Basically you start off really quiet, saying the word Boagies, then others join in and it gradually gets louder untill the point that someone is screaming BOAGIESSSSSSSS. Got a fair few laughs at this as there was always someone in the class willing to fucking scream it. Those were the days! I mind me and my mate got taken out of the theatre when we were going to see a panto with the school. We must have only got up to a 5.4 score but the teachers were having none of it. Parents were called to pick us up and his parents ended themselvs laughing whilst I got a stern talking to and nae PS2 for a week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBeither Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) A boy in my year brought a firework into school one day, f**k knows why, and someone in the year above lit it and threw it into a crowd, thankfully it never hit anyone! Last year a boy in my year shat himself in the toilets, shit up all up the cubicle walls and that , his excuse for the smell was that "he was sick" which clearly wasn't true as he left his shit covered boxers in the bin Also been told that a few weeks ago the same thing happened when he was on the way to training in his mums car! I remember that (unless this was a different time... fireworks were fairly common at Garnock) I remember Mr Taylor (iirc) was chasing a guy round the playground who was firing fireworks at him out of a milk bottle. Beith v Kilbirnie fights were always interesting also. When I was in 1st/2nd year there was a massive scrap involving half the school. Registration was pretty much empty for the next few days because everyone was suspended. Also remember a girl called 'effy', or something like that. Went a bit mental in social studies and launched a filing cabinet through a window. As ye do Got into trouble a few times myself. Hitting the head teacher with a snowball was probably my proudest school moment. Also made Mrs Mair, our french teacher, burst into tears because we kept doing the chewin' the fat cheese baguette joke on her. *guy walks into class late* "sorry I'm late miss, was just munching on my cheese baguette.." *whole class stands up* "OOOOH, CHEESE BAGUETTE!!" *next guy walks in* "sorry I'm late miss, was just riding in on my cabriolet.." "OOOH, CABRIOLET!!" *repeat until teacher breaks down in tears* Evil tbh Edited February 10, 2012 by TheBeither 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) On the walking into class late front, one of my mates (the Postmat Pat prank victim) decided just to up and leave a month or two into 6th year in order to go sailing around Britain with his folks. A couple of months later, he just turns up mid-way through a physics class and wanders over to his old seat to take out his books etc without saying a word. The teacher naturally went bezerk as he obviously didn't have a clue why he'd been absent. The next day, he just turned up at the end of class, took out his books and then put them straight back in his bag as the bell went. He was a prefect as well and afterwards, instead of taking a wee ned to the rectors office for giving him some grief for being a 'specky', he just walked up to him in the middle of the car park and punched him to the ground. Proper discipline. I appreciate that this guy is/was your mate, but he sounds like a wank. Edit: oh, and 'rector'....WTF? Edited February 10, 2012 by Drooper 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagtastic Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 When I was in second year, I went on the end of year trip to Maastricht in Holland with the school. On the way back we were all hauled off the bus at Dover customs while the bus was searched. Turned out the driver was attempting to smuggle around £500k worth of dope back with him. Was quite amusing watching all the folk trying to bring some of their own back with them frantically trying to flush their tenner bags of grass, down the bog in the terminal as no one had a clue what was going on until we got on the replacement bus. We ended up having to wait about 4/5 hours for another bus to come down from Newcastle (where the bus company was from) to get us. Fun and games. Was reported in most papers at the time, had the Daily Record and Sun on the phone asking questions about the driver when we got home. This is the only link I can find relating to it though. My link 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowden til i die Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 A rector? What's all this I read. Sounds a bit dirty. Clearly my school was awful boring compared to all of this. All we did was learns and perv over the tidy teachers It was a simpler time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Unfortunatly i am old enough that some of the stunts i tried ended up with me getting belted. But that only slowed you down for a day or two.. I locked my Engilsh teacher in his store cupboard,just for a min or two but he did not find it funny. Smoking in the toilets was always good as the alarms went off . And hitting the head of PE with a bouncer at the staff v pupils cricket match. We also used to burst into song before Christmas with a roaring rendition of White Christams. Our teacher was a real wimp. But he would go and bring in the Head of Dept was about 7 foot tall and a brute of a man 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilbirniefan Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I remember that (unless this was a different time... fireworks were fairly common at Garnock) I remember Mr Taylor (iirc) was chasing a guy round the playground who was firing fireworks at him out of a milk bottle. Beith v Kilbirnie fights were always interesting also. When I was in 1st/2nd year there was a massive scrap involving half the school. Registration was pretty much empty for the next few days because everyone was suspended. Also remember a girl called 'effy', or something like that. Went a bit mental in social studies and launched a filing cabinet through a window. As ye do Got into trouble a few times myself. Hitting the head teacher with a snowball was probably my proudest school moment. Also made Mrs Mair, our french teacher, burst into tears because we kept doing the chewin' the fat cheese baguette joke on her. *guy walks into class late* "sorry I'm late miss, was just munching on my cheese baguette.." *whole class stands up* "OOOOH, CHEESE BAGUETTE!!" *next guy walks in* "sorry I'm late miss, was just riding in on my cabriolet.." "OOOH, CABRIOLET!!" *repeat until teacher breaks down in tears* Evil tbh How old are you? I think I was in 4th year maybe when it happened, it was a boy called Ally that done it, you'll probably know him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Also remember a girl called 'effy', or something like that. Went a bit mental in social studies and launched a filing cabinet through a window. As ye do xbl's bird? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowden til i die Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 Unfortunatly i am old enough that some of the stunts i tried ended up with me getting belted. But that only slowed you down for a day or two.. I locked my Engilsh teacher in his store cupboard,just for a min or two but he did not find it funny. Smoking in the toilets was always good as the alarms went off . And hitting the head of PE with a bouncer at the staff v pupils cricket match. We also used to burst into song before Christmas with a roaring rendition of White Christams. Our teacher was a real wimp. But he would go and bring in the Head of Dept was about 7 foot tall and a brute of a man Best thing I've read on this thread. Proper old school buggery. It's like a private school way of being a rebel 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reynard Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 My latin teacher got the bulk of the hassle. He was also the RE teacher at the time which led to him being locked in cupboards for the entire lesson and all that sort of stuff. The best one at latin was the entire class(three of us) climbing out the window onto the flat roof and hiding from him. I was stripped of the school colours for not turning up for the end of year prize giving to get the award for being top in english as I was plunking school and playing golf for the last week of term. The old headmaster is now one of my customers so obviously no long term bad feelings I also put Gerry Phillips(spamheid and PE teacher) out of some Hamilton Accies premier league game by wrecking him in a slide tackle that was a bit mistimed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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