School stories

[statts1976uk]

At Auchmuty High School in the early 90's we had this older history teacher, he was a typical loud, opinionated old style type. 

One of the things we used to do was ask him a question that would hit one of trigger points so he would rant for the rest of the period. He was loud and rant but once you got past the bluster he seemed OK.

All this was fine until one day he just wasn't there, usual rumours were about that he was ill, he had died due to his great age or what someone in their late 50's/early 60's seemed to us. Not one of the teachers would tell us what had happened.

Fast forward a few weeks and an article appeared in the Daily Record that he, alongside others, was involved in a rentboy ring and got convicted on charges relating to that as well sodomy etc. Needless to say that questions to teachers about what rent boys and sodomy were not welcome. 

[Enigma]

Did anybody go to a school where one of the teachers wasn’t a nonce?

[tamthebam]

French was literally scared into me by a harridan with a glass eye. Rumour was she'd lost her eye fighting for the Resistance. Which was probably crap 

We also had French student teachers "OK Fifi, you're going to L'Ecosse to teach 15 year old lads who watch Allo Allo and think all French women are tarts like Yvette. What could go wrong?". There must be someone out there who got lucky with an "assistante"

Strange thing is my French is pretty mauvais but it impresses my younger fellow workers that I can speak a wee bit of it.

[hk blues]

8 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Strange thing is my French is pretty mauvais but it impresses my younger fellow workers that I can speak a wee bit of it.

[BFTD]

8 hours ago, tamthebam said:

French was literally scared into me by a harridan with a glass eye. Rumour was she'd lost her eye fighting for the Resistance. Which was probably crap 

We also had French student teachers "OK Fifi, you're going to L'Ecosse to teach 15 year old lads who watch Allo Allo and think all French women are tarts like Yvette. What could go wrong?". There must be someone out there who got lucky with an "assistante"

Strange thing is my French is pretty mauvais but it impresses my younger fellow workers that I can speak a wee bit of it.

We got French student teachers too. Dunno about getting lucky, but one attractive young lass did once respond to some lewd banter by laughing and squeezing the crotch of one of my classmates  

The others were far less memorable, apart from one guy from Reunion who had us riveted for weeks with tales of life on his island, during which he'd slip into French and sneakily get us learning new words, the cad. Much more interesting than "alright, open up your Tricolore at page 34 and we'll see what's happening at the boulangerie in La Rochelle today".

[OSP]

On 24/08/2021 at 16:36, Miguel Sanchez said:

My teach teacher was a Morton fan rather than an alcoholic. The tech teachers were the soundest bunch there, the oldest was a miserable old b*****d but I doubt he drank, he'd probably have been a bit more perky if he did.

My PE teacher used to play for St. Mirren and made annual attempts at one of the 6th year girls at the end of year prom. 

I've just looked up my old school's twitter feed and discovered that one of those tech teachers retired this year and my old geography teacher who was like a more interesting version of Mullarkey with tales of going to India with the British Airways stewardess he used to "step out with" also retired. 

My old maths teacher's still there and she's not aging well.

 

Pretty certain I went to the same school as you then. Once had a trip down to Keele Uni for a football tournament, and the school debating team went with us for a competition they were in too.

My mate thought he had managed to pull one of the debating team (from the year above me), only to find her creeping out of said PE teachers's room the next morning...

[Gaz FFC]

9 hours ago, Enigma said:

Did anybody go to a school where one of the teachers wasn’t a nonce?

In the 70s and 80s I just assume every old man was a nonce.

Pretty much seems that way now and also by the looks of it acceptable if Saville is anything to go by.

Another addition to the greatest lie ever told......"The good old days". Literally nothing was better then.

[MONKMAN]

My regi teacher, who was also my geography teacher, tanned a bottle of whisky and walked head on down a trainline and got melted by an oncoming train.  He was engaged to one of the IT teachers and she had a fairly bad meltdown as a result.  Quite sad really as he was a sound guy.

My physics teacher was an elderly lady by the name of Mrs Reid, a right miserable cow who was also an alky and would drink out of one of them plastic bottles you'd find in the science labs as shown below. One day when she was out the class, one of the boys opened it and we all had a smell, she was necking straight vodka.

If we had her in a morning class she'd be fairly normal, but in an afternoon class she'd be a slevering mess. I'd imagine 30 years of teaching arseholes just got too much for her.

 

 

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 hour ago, OSP said:

Pretty certain I went to the same school as you then. Once had a trip down to Keele Uni for a football tournament, and the school debating team went with us for a competition they were in too.

My mate thought he had managed to pull one of the debating team (from the year above me), only to find her creeping out of said PE teachers's room the next morning...

No fucking chance did my school have a debating team  

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

No fucking chance did my school have a debating team  

We did at Larkhall Academy, never witnessed them myself but I imagine they just stood looking menacing until the other team gave up 

[Archie McSquackle]

We got French student teachers too. Dunno about getting lucky, but one attractive young lass did once respond to some lewd banter by laughing and squeezing the crotch of one of my classmates  
The others were far less memorable, apart from one guy from Reunion who had us riveted for weeks with tales of life on his island, during which he'd slip into French and sneakily get us learning new words, the cad. Much more interesting than "alright, open up your Tricolore at page 34 and we'll see what's happening at the boulangerie in La Rochelle today".

In my time, French class was all about La Famille Garnier - (a family in a Paris suburb, Creteil maybe). For some reason the only thing that sticks in my mind is when they had a bunch of removal men and one of them shouting "Hey Thierry " and the other other grumpy bugger responding "Bof".

I'm not aware of our school having any nonces but we did have an art teacher who would disappear into a cupboard and come back a wee while later smelling of whisky.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

22 minutes ago, Lochdown said:

You said you had a 'prom'.

 

So aye, a 'debating team' is more than likely.

Mass debating team no doubt.

[hk blues]

18 minutes ago, Archie McSquackle said:

In my time, French class was all about La Famille Garnier - (a family in a Paris suburb, Creteil maybe). For some reason the only thing that sticks in my mind is when they had a bunch of removal men and one of them shouting "Hey Thierry " and the other other grumpy bugger responding "Bof".

I'm not aware of our school having any nonces but we did have an art teacher who would disappear into a cupboard and come back a wee while later smelling of whisky.

I've read a fair few posts here about folk disappearing into cupboards, sometimes more than 1 person.  You folk must have had classes with some size of cupboards compared to what we had.  

[LondonHMFC]

12 hours ago, Enigma said:

Did anybody go to a school where one of the teachers wasn’t a nonce?

Ours wasn't a nonce, but did get caught dogging. Fairly sure it was in the Daily Star. He was an assistant head, and taught maths as well. Decent patter, but after it came out in the papers he resigned. Ended up in a four ball with him (oo er) at our local golf course a few years after though and thought about asking, but decided against it. 

 

[microdave]

My school's resident alcoholic was a maths teacher who used to disappear into his cupboard for a wee dram or two. He also won the Scottish cup with Clyde in 1958. We had a janny who was up for nonce behaviour years after I left but he was acquitted on all charges. 

Eta It was a techie teacher that outed me as a Dumbarton fan in a Clydebank school. He'd seen me at a game and asked me on the Monday if I'd enjoyed it in front of the whole class. Hated him for that.

Edited August 26, 2021 by microdave

[Sergeant Wilson]

13 hours ago, tamthebam said:

French was literally scared into me by a harridan with a glass eye. Rumour was she'd lost her eye fighting for the Resistance. Which was probably crap 

We also had French student teachers "OK Fifi, you're going to L'Ecosse to teach 15 year old lads who watch Allo Allo and think all French women are tarts like Yvette. What could go wrong?". There must be someone out there who got lucky with an "assistante"

Strange thing is my French is pretty mauvais but it impresses my younger fellow workers that I can speak a wee bit of it.

As pleasant as that thought is, the overriding imperative vis a vis student teachers is to see how long it takes to make them cry.

This compulsion carried on after school when interacting with women. I could have been civil and maybe have relations with a woman, or I could home in on any mild fault and get a cheap laugh. The cheap laugh outcome usually happened before I even realised I was doing it.

[thistledo]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I've read a fair few posts here about folk disappearing into cupboards, sometimes more than 1 person.  You folk must have had classes with some size of cupboards compared to what we had.  

Was always a rumour going round, that one of the German teachers got locked in a cupboard at school over the weekend. A few of the lads in my class used to ask her almost every German period if it was true. She always denied it funnily enough. 

[BFTD]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I've read a fair few posts here about folk disappearing into cupboards, sometimes more than 1 person.  You folk must have had classes with some size of cupboards compared to what we had.  

Aye, big walk-in affairs lined with shelves, even in the portacabins. I've been in smaller flats in London.

The shelves were generally full of elderly textbooks that nobody had got around to dumping yet, and there was usually an unused TV & VCR bought in the early Eighties on a wheeled stand tucked away at the back. Nothing of any use, not that it stopped the teachers acting suspicious about keeping them locked (presumably to hide their bottles, according to what others have posted).

[Archie McSquackle]

I've read a fair few posts here about folk disappearing into cupboards, sometimes more than 1 person.  You folk must have had classes with some size of cupboards compared to what we had.  

I think it was more the art store room than cupboard, don't know where the alkies in other departments went.

[AUcal]

One of the buses that our school used had been rented for a stag do the weekend before and a porno dvd had been left in the player for the wee TV at the front. While it was picking up all the pupils for the day the driver turned on the TV and it played for the entire way to the school. I wasn't on the bus but apparently a couple of folk tried to tell the guy but he kept shouting to sit down before they could get near the front of the bus.

Seem to remember a week or so of teachers coming into class to ask students what had happened and if people had actually seen it. Of course they denied seeing/watching it to teachers but told the rest of us all about it afterwards.