School stories

[thistledo]

Me and my mates were discussing an incident that happened in secondary school the other night, so thought I'd share this. 

So it was nearing the end of term in 3rd year, me and some of the lads bored at lunchtime decided lets lob some bog rolls out the toilet windows on the 2nd floor (hilarious I know) a bit of a trend that started for some reason. Anyway before we got to this, the whole thing was interrupted by the discovery of "the biggest jobby in the world" naturally we were all eager to witness this. I can confirm it was massive and still to this day the biggest I've ever seen, it was breached and touching the sides. We were pissing ourselves laughing at the sheer enormity of it. Pretty soon this attracted the attention of an assistant head walking by, despite our strong recommendation to view said jobby he declined and the lads who hadn't went to spread the word sent to his office along the corridor, never really understood the reason for this. Anyway he left, assuming to seek out the poor janitor to deal with this. Me and the lads started texting other mates, by the time he came back there was a rather large and surprisingly orderly queue of pupils formed all the way down the stairs to view this fucking monstrosity! He just looked at the queue and then the three of us barely able to contain our laughter, sighed and tried to start ushering people away. I'm guessing this wasn't why he got in to teaching. By the time we were able to leave the poor janny had just gone in with a plunger and all we heard was "oh Jesus Christ!" 

Anyway, sadly we never found the culprit, but the good money was on a rather large physics teacher.  

[scottsdad]

The joys of Alloa Academy in the 1990s. I'll post more another day but I remember we all had a phase where we would chew A4 paper until it was mush, and throw it at the blackboard (all the hipsters here with whiteboards and smartboards...). We called them either World Cuppers, or Soggy Moggers. One physics teacher was particularly upset by these. One day he left the class for a few minutes and when he came back the blackboard was utterly covered. Even the good kids were doing it just for him. When he came back the rage was something quite unexpected. Surprisingly he never gave out any punnies.

 

On another occasion we had RME taught by a geography teacher, Mr McIntyre. The regular teacher was off sick so all he had to do was babysit us for a single period. He could have let us chat while he sat and read a book or something. Instead he gave us a lecture on "The disgusting practice of anal penetration". Went in to a lot of detail about gay anal sex and why it was so, so wrong. It must have been on his mind a lot. 

[Busta Nut]

5 hours ago, scottsdad said:

we would chew A4 paper until it was mush,

f**k me

[hk blues]

16 hours ago, scottsdad said:

... we all had a phase where we would chew A4 paper until it was mush, and throw it at the blackboard (all the hipsters here with whiteboards and smartboards...). We called them either World Cuppers, or Soggy Moggers.

We called them doofers IIRC

[The Moonster]

11 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

f**k me

"The joys of the 90's"

[get_the_subbies_on]

We called them doofers IIRC

Dundee in the 80s - definitely doofers.

[Thorongil]

On 21/04/2016 at 23:34, Tom Rogic said:

Got thinking earlier about my schooldays and, if anyone here also went to St Modans in Stirling they may recall the creepy alki Modern Studies teacher from the 80's and 90's Mr Cusack?

Dirty old fucker used to constantly 'drop' his pen right next to various lassies desks so he have to bend down in front of them to pick it up, clearly to have a gaze up their skirts in the process, loads of folk noticed it, incredible that no questions were asked of his suitability as a teacher

My PE teacher was super friendly and was loved by the kids. He would let us have a laugh and mess about and we all enjoyed PE Studies. 
 

A couple of years after we left he turned out to be a beast and was convicted for things he did at the school. And it transpired he had been moved to our school after concerns were raised at another school.

 

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, get_the_subbies_on said:

Dundee in the 80s - definitely doofers.

Thought so. 

We would make little ones that could be ejected through a straw.  I remember one time a few of us found the cleaner's stash of bog rolls and made a few huge doofers and lobbed them onto the metal bike shed roof which was in a courtyard surrounded by classrooms - it was like a series of bombs going off.  

[Thorongil]

My business studies teacher was an absolute fox but she had no sense of humour. We were due to hand in a project that I hadn’t done and in front of the whole class I was being called out. 
 

“I have done it miss but unfortunately I did it on my dad’s laptop and he has gone to Helsinki yesterday on business and taken his laptop with him.” 

Low level titters from the class.

“Oh really, well who that at the school show last night?”

”That was my Uncle Bertie, Miss”

class starting to laugh somewhat raucously. 

with a raised voice “Mr Surname, your trouble is that you think you can talk your way out of anything!”

I retort

”Miss, come on, we’ve known each other for a few years now, you can call me Brian.”

class erupts. 
 

“OUT OUT OUT!!!”.

sent to the actual head teacher of the school to explain the whole story.

Edited August 20, 2021 by Thorongil

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Chewing A4 was a source of sustenance for some, especially after spending your dinner money on single Benny Hedgehogs from Lunardis in the high street. 

Elgin Academy had a tower block (6 floors I think) with Art being shunted to the top floor. Of course outside at the base was a small pond (the Chinky Pond, yes it was the 1980s).

Of course you got 10 points for hitting the side of the pond with the bottle of red paint and coating any unsuspecting pupils lurking nearby.

[Busta Nut]

Chewing big lumps of paper is something morons would have done.
I was at school in the 90s and I reckon anyone chewing enough paper to throw and stick to the blackboard would have got bullied for being a melt. Bullying was rare at my school but they would have accepted it for that.

[BFTD]

Wow, this has brought back memories. The secondary school I went to had a couple of large old buildings from back when the attendance roll must have been a fraction of the size, and a myriad of "temporary" outbuildings. The classrooms in the old buildings had high ceilings, which were stippled with wee stalactites of chewed paper that had built up over the decades  

[Cosmic Joe]

On 19/08/2021 at 21:52, Busta Nut said:

f**k me

This was also a thing in Fife schools in the 1970s. But A4??? 

 

 

 

 

 

Foolscap maybe

[Busta Nut]

I can understand wee bits of paper to fire through a straw(as manky as that was). Chewing it like ye've a full pack of Hubba Bubba in yer gub is mad.

Edited August 20, 2021 by Busta Nut

[Melanius Mullarkey]

On 22/04/2016 at 08:35, KnightswoodBear said:

constantly stoated about in one of those old school C.C.C.P style red tracksuits.

That’s my life goal.

9 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

I can understand wee bits of paper to fire through a straw(as manky as that was). Chewing it like ye've a full pack of Hubba Bubba in yer gub is mad.

Robbie Russell used to chew and eat rubbers. The really hard crumbly blue pen ones were his favourite. 

[hk blues]

10 hours ago, Cosmic Joe said:

This was also a thing in Fife schools in the 1970s. But A4??? 

 

 

 

 

 

Foolscap maybe

One of the girls in our class would chew A3 size - she was a popular girl right enough!

[mizfit]

Did anyone else have a group who’d drink during school in their year?

We had one guy who’d regularly fill his ribena bottle with bucky and drink during school. On more than one occasion he was visually intoxicated by the end of the day. Completely forgot about it until a friend mentioned it to me the other day.

[Cosmic Joe]

5 minutes ago, mizfit said:

Did anyone else have a group who’d drink during school in their year?

We had one guy who’d regularly fill his ribena bottle with bucky and drink during school. On more than one occasion he was visually intoxicated by the end of the day. Completely forgot about it until a friend mentioned it to me the other day.

Blind drunk? 

[Thorongil]

There was an absolute maniac who got transferred to our school in 3rd year , Danny. He looked about 25 and had tattoos. He was an absolute bear of a boy and had been expelled from elsewhere for kicking absolute f**k out of a teacher. Social work were heavily involved and in the school most days. 
 

Not long after Dunblane he came into school brandishing an air pistol. A near swat team descended on the school and he was hauled away by the police. Expelled and we never saw him again but we heard tales and legends about what he got up to. Remarkably I believe he is still alive unlike most of the people he socialised with outside of school. 

[Ron Aldo]

Did anyone else have a group who’d drink during school in their year?

We had one guy who’d regularly fill his ribena bottle with bucky and drink during school. On more than one occasion he was visually intoxicated by the end of the day. Completely forgot about it until a friend mentioned it to me the other day.

Don't know anyone who drank during school but there were a fair number hwo smoked weed.

Also had a guy in my year who took valium before the Higher maths exam and fell asleep during it.