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Why the f**k would that be your reaction?! Trying to pish your own skiddy off the bowl is one thing but to attempt to break up someone else’s whole shite with a pish? Incredible.


Just to see how much of it I could break down with my pish I suppose. I’ve never tried it on anything more substantial than a skid mark as I have never had a urinal in my house.
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13 hours ago, Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth said:

Bump

I shat in a urinal once at high school. I was in 5th or 6th Year at the time and had quite a good reputation in the school so was never a suspect. Some wee first year got the blame and they all started having to carry wee toilet cards anytime they went during class so it got recorded who went and when.

Got reminded of that one earlier.

Why did you shite in a urinal?

WHY?!

@SoccerFM

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18 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said:

When I was about 14 our headmaster strode on stage (mortar board and cape) during an assembly and announced "someone has deficated in the boys urinal".

No one had a scooby what he was on about.

Was it you?

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11 hours ago, throbber said:

 


Just to see how much of it I could break down with my pish I suppose. I’ve never tried it on anything more substantial than a skid mark as I have never had a urinal in my house.

 

Splashback, you mank.

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Bump

I shat in a urinal once at high school. I was in 5th or 6th Year at the time and had quite a good reputation in the school so was never a suspect. Some wee first year got the blame and they all started having to carry wee toilet cards anytime they went during class so it got recorded who went and when.

Got reminded of that one earlier.

When was this? I was at the Academy until '96. I vaguely remember having to take the toilet slip. Is that why, you dirty b*****d.

 

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I've experienced a shite in the urinal twice in my life, both times being at school. The first was during the last week of school when I was in P.5 and the second during the last week of school before exam leave when I was in S.4. What I've deduced from this is that it was the same student, a couple of years above me, leaving a parting gift before moving on to the next stage of their life.

Edited by Barry Ferguson's Hat
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5 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said:

When I was about 14 our headmaster strode on stage (mortar board and cape) during an assembly and announced "someone has deficated in the boys urinal".

No one had a scooby what he was on about.

Nae bother, Plug.

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  • Hedgecutter changed the title to P&B Confession Room

A few days ago in Riga, I did a good deed by lending an arm to a Latvian guy who had gone into the (Daugava) river through the middle of the city for a swim, but was clearly struggling to get out the water because he'd misjudged the height of the embankment.  Man saved from hypothermia and potential drowing, so self-pat on the back.

However... in the process of him dragging his arse out up and over the stone embankment, his shorts fell off. I looked in the water for them, but couldn't see them (presumed sunken to the bottom of the Daugava, or floating out to the Baltic Sea). After insisting on giving me a firm handshake, he proceeded to stand with his hands on his hips, chest held proudly out, knob pointing tourists in the direction of the adjacent UNESCO world heritage site (at this point I'll stress the distinct difference between seeing and looking). 

I then felt "ok, it's getting weird now", gave him a sort of 'enjoy your night' signal seeing as he evidently didn't speak English, thought "job done, there are other onlookers who can easily help out here (or might be wondering why I'm shaking hands with some naked guy beside the dual carriageway)" and I went back into the Old Town.

It later dawned upon me that the reality of the situation is that I left a man stark-bollock-naked bang in the centre of a city larger than Edinburgh. He'd have been without clothes to change into seeing as he only turned up in his shorts, and would have had no phone / money to contact a friend or taxi. The good deed part of the story cancels the latter part out, and it's not like I left him alone, right? 😕

Edited by Hedgecutter
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On 06/09/2022 at 09:55, Hedgecutter said:

A few days ago in Riga, I did a good deed by lending an arm to a Latvian guy who had gone into the (Daugava) river through the middle of the city for a swim, but was clearly struggling to get out the water because he'd misjudged the height of the embankment.  Man saved from hypothermia and potential drowing, so self-pat on the back.

However... in the process of him dragging his arse out up and over the stone embankment, his shorts fell off. I looked in the water for them, but couldn't see them (presumed sunken to the bottom of the Daugava, or floating out to the Baltic Sea). After insisting on giving me a firm handshake, he proceeded to stand with his hands on his hips, chest held proudly out, knob pointing tourists in the direction of the adjacent UNESCO world heritage site (at this point I'll stress the distinct difference between seeing and looking). 

I then felt "ok, it's getting weird now", gave him a sort of 'enjoy your night' signal seeing as he evidently didn't speak English, thought "job done, there are other onlookers who can easily help out here (or might be wondering why I'm shaking hands with some naked guy beside the dual carriageway)" and I went back into the Old Town.

It later dawned upon me that the reality of the situation is that I left a man stark-bollock-naked bang in the centre of a city larger than Edinburgh. He'd have been without clothes to change into seeing as he only turned up in his shorts, and would have had no phone / money to contact a friend or taxi. The good deed part of the story cancels the latter part out, and it's not like I left him alone, right? 😕

Reminds me of a story my dad told me of him and his mate helping a pished guy up outside Paps in Cumbernauld. One had his arms and the other the legs, until one of them fell off. My dad was stood there with a prosthetic leg with the victim lying comatose on the deck at 2am outside a nightclub. I’m not sure what I would have done in that situation, running away after people thinking I’m some sort of limb cutter might not be the best move.

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On 06/09/2022 at 09:55, Hedgecutter said:

A few days ago in Riga, I did a good deed by lending an arm to a Latvian guy who had gone into the (Daugava) river through the middle of the city for a swim, but was clearly struggling to get out the water because he'd misjudged the height of the embankment.  Man saved from hypothermia and potential drowing, so self-pat on the back.

However... in the process of him dragging his arse out up and over the stone embankment, his shorts fell off. I looked in the water for them, but couldn't see them (presumed sunken to the bottom of the Daugava, or floating out to the Baltic Sea). After insisting on giving me a firm handshake, he proceeded to stand with his hands on his hips, chest held proudly out, knob pointing tourists in the direction of the adjacent UNESCO world heritage site (at this point I'll stress the distinct difference between seeing and looking). 

I then felt "ok, it's getting weird now", gave him a sort of 'enjoy your night' signal seeing as he evidently didn't speak English, thought "job done, there are other onlookers who can easily help out here (or might be wondering why I'm shaking hands with some naked guy beside the dual carriageway)" and I went back into the Old Town.

It later dawned upon me that the reality of the situation is that I left a man stark-bollock-naked bang in the centre of a city larger than Edinburgh. He'd have been without clothes to change into seeing as he only turned up in his shorts, and would have had no phone / money to contact a friend or taxi. The good deed part of the story cancels the latter part out, and it's not like I left him alone, right? 😕

Still doesn’t explain why you also had no shorts on.

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On 06/09/2022 at 09:55, Hedgecutter said:

A few days ago in Riga, I did a good deed by lending an arm to a Latvian guy who had gone into the (Daugava) river through the middle of the city for a swim, but was clearly struggling to get out the water because he'd misjudged the height of the embankment.  Man saved from hypothermia and potential drowing, so self-pat on the back.

However... in the process of him dragging his arse out up and over the stone embankment, his shorts fell off. I looked in the water for them, but couldn't see them (presumed sunken to the bottom of the Daugava, or floating out to the Baltic Sea). After insisting on giving me a firm handshake, he proceeded to stand with his hands on his hips, chest held proudly out, knob pointing tourists in the direction of the adjacent UNESCO world heritage site (at this point I'll stress the distinct difference between seeing and looking). 

I then felt "ok, it's getting weird now", gave him a sort of 'enjoy your night' signal seeing as he evidently didn't speak English, thought "job done, there are other onlookers who can easily help out here (or might be wondering why I'm shaking hands with some naked guy beside the dual carriageway)" and I went back into the Old Town.

It later dawned upon me that the reality of the situation is that I left a man stark-bollock-naked bang in the centre of a city larger than Edinburgh. He'd have been without clothes to change into seeing as he only turned up in his shorts, and would have had no phone / money to contact a friend or taxi. The good deed part of the story cancels the latter part out, and it's not like I left him alone, right? 😕

I really want to read this story from his perspective..........

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