Supras Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My current job is pretty shite. Constant abuse, unnecessarily close interaction with undesirables and bizarre old c***s threatening me with physical violence. And some physical violence. Decent money though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckles Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My current job is pretty shite. Constant abuse, unnecessarily close interaction with undesirables and bizarre old c***s threatening me with physical violence. And some physical violence. Decent money though. You're a referee, aren't you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckles Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 For a summer during Uni, i worked in the grotty Poundstretchers in Inverness, absolutely bollocks job that consisted of putting up with shite banter from old people, stocking shelves, stocking up on all the kitchen knives that were stolen and constantly having to monitor people i went to school with (and lived near my gran) who were notorious thieves. Anyway, after i was put on the late shift, the manager when to cash up, I went for a shit and came back to no one there.I didn't have any keys so i rang the other manager in the store up at the Golden mile, he came down and did a safe check. 10k missing. I had to go back for about 5 interviews with area manager, regional managers and police. I had one week left before going back to uni and the c***s sacked me for gross negligence as i should have been in the managers office when he was cashing up. I had no comeback as i thought he was going to wait until i came back. Looking back i should have totally fought it but i just got pished the final week then when back to uni. The fucker didnt even ask if i wanted to go halfers. edit -spelling 10 K ? That must have represented a year's takings at that joint . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak QOSFC Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Worked at a kennels last summer when I was in between jobs, consisted of cleaning out kennels and all the shit that comes with it (often up the walls), the smell was horrendous. Got to walk the dogs though which was good on a nice day although a lot had been abused so were pretty mental. Looking back it wasn't that bad, only did a few hours in the morning and the occasional afternoon, pay was good and had weekends off (I work as a chef) so got to have good weekends on the lash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NathanQP Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 For a summer during Uni, i worked in the grotty Poundstretchers in Inverness, absolutely bollocks job that consisted of putting up with shite banter from old people, stocking shelves, stocking up on all the kitchen knives that were stolen and constantly having to monitor people i went to school with (and lived near my gran) who were notorious thieves. Anyway, after i was put on the late shift, the manager when to cash up, I went for a shit and came back to no one there.I didn't have any keys so i rang the other manager in the store up at the Golden mile, he came down and did a safe check. 10k missing. I had to go back for about 5 interviews with area manager, regional managers and police. I had one week left before going back to uni and the c***s sacked me for gross negligence as i should have been in the managers office when he was cashing up. I had no comeback as i thought he was going to wait until i came back. Looking back i should have totally fought it but i just got pished the final week then when back to uni. The fucker didnt even ask if i wanted to go halfers. edit -spelling so he just legged it with 10k? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Troll Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Only had 2 jobs, spent years at Tesco before getting an apprenticeship, i earn half as much for more hours work but im glad i left. Being the type of guy i am, i was heavily involved in rumours at Tesco, almost every week a new one arose about me and work mates and randoms on nights out. 90% of them were completely unfounded and false but people still believed and spread them. The place was awful because of these rumours even leading me to get a "meeting" with my boss to see if they were actually true i wouldn't recommend it as you get sucked in and it's a spiteful place. Obviously it might be different elsewhere but i doubt it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 worst place? i cant just do 1 sorry gr8works<< oh how misleading a name can be response<< i knew what i was getting myself into but its still painful to think of stellar uk<< probably worse than the other two but not by much, never been treated so badly by anyone in my life as the whole management structure in there some of the same people turned up at aviva while i was there needless to say it turned to shit almost instantly never working in a call centre in my life again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 After dropping out of university, I was desperate for a job and ended up as a debt tracer at Wescot (debt collection agency). Some of the tricks you were supposed to use to make your targets were unethical and immoral - others were downright illegal... like the following: Jimmy owes money but you only have his parent's number. When you ask his mum for Jimmy's number, she refuses to give you it as Jimmy's tipped her off. She says that she'll pass on your number to him but you know Jimmy has more sense than to phone in to volunteer his new address. So you agree to her passing on the message, but ask her to phone him straight away as it's "important" (She thinks I'm trying to get in touch with Jimmy from "when he worked at Asda" - a misleading phrase to make her think we're friends without actually lying). So she says goodbye and hangs up, but you don't hang up and instead press the "silent" button. When she picks up the phone to phone Jimmy, obviously she can't dial out because I'm still at the other end. So she tries pressing numbers, thinks there's a fault and tries again in a few minutes. Meanwhile, a girl from the other side of the office is summoned over. Next time Jimmy's mum tries to dial his number, she takes the phone off silent and says "BT Operator. There is a fault with this line. What number are you trying to contact?" And once you have their number, it's easy enough to phone them and get their address by pretending to be their mobile phone provider and offering them £50 if they fill out a questionnaire that you need to send to their home address. Shady b*****ds. Thank funk I got fired! I'd rather be a fat layabout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 My worst work experience was labouring to roofers(hate heights), it was a great job but we suffered a storm that threatened to bring down the false ceilings at Aerospace in Monkton, the company needed volunteers to go up the scaffolding and sheet the front of the main building(as one squad had ripped it out to make a quick buck), I volunteered along with the rest of my squad, me being up there was a waste of time as the gusts were over 100mph and as I was only 105 pounds at the time, all I could do was hold onto either side of the scaffolding for dear life as my feet dangled in mid-air due to the force of the wind, I've never been so glad to get my feet on solid ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
well fan for life Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Worked for two months at a fish factory in Eyemouth - 5am to 9am six days a week tailing prawns (ripping live prawns apart with your fingers) then on call all day to unload the boats as they came in. Can't stand the smell of seafood at the best of times, I was permanently swallowing bile the entire 2 months. Found myself broke and out of work so I borrowed a set of ladders and went door to door cleaning windows. In January in the middle of a cauld, cauld winter. Feart o heights and standing shivering at the top of an icy ladder washing windows in the snow. Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages. :lol: That's the single best story in this thread. Superb work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 All morning I killed cows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 You could have blamed the shit on the manager who done a runner. Not like they could prove otherwise! Au contraire. DNA tests would have easily indicated the owner (or former owner) of that shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Haemonetics Blood Company in Bothwell... Assembly line - dressed up as if ur going for war with neuks.....Area 51 kinda stuff. Got the tour before starting and walked out when i seen them dressed like that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
footiechick Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 That is the best story I have ever heard! I wish I could give you more than one green dot for that. :lol: That's the single best story in this thread. Superb work. This didn't make me laugh at all. If it's true, it's horrifyingly sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Au contraire. DNA tests would have easily indicated the owner (or former owner) of that shit. True. I don't think the police would be calling in CSI to take a DNA sample of steaming shite on someone desk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 10 K ? That must have represented a year's takings at that joint . so he just legged it with 10k? Must have been a slow get away. £10k in pound coins would be pretty heavy. Aye bolted, he must have been planning it for a while because it was a weeks takings ( you'll be surprised at the amount of money the place took) it wasn't poundland so there where items for about 60 quid there. You'd see some well to do people driving up in 4x4's and spending 40 quid on heaps of clothes. Bizarre. I don't think the guy got collared for it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 "New Generation Systems", or Kirby Hoovers as they're better known, back when i was about 19. I'd just chucked my college course, and needed a job, any job. So i got interviewed and was one of the lucky 12 invited back to the induction. The whole thing was hilarious. We sat through some fat ginger salesman try to tell us that the biggest selling area for a £919 vacuum cleaner was Fintry , then watched him demonstrate (and completely fail) to take it apart, and put it together again. The guy was an utter clown. The best part though, was the video. It was hosted by a clearly very skint William Shatner, telling us how great Kirby Hoovers were. I must have sat there open-mouthed in disbelief at the surreality of it all. At the end of the day, we got told how much money we could make, at which point (coincidentally i'm sure) some young ned in a shirt and tie, who looked like he'd had an epileptic fit in the Elizabeth Duke Jewellery Section at Argos came in and told us in a thick Dundee accent that he'd made a "Thoosan Pound" in the last fortnight. The final act of disbelief came when we were told how to sell these things in teams of two, and given a script which beggared belief. It was basically a guide in how to scare old people/folk who didn't know any better, and how to get them to sign up to credit agreements they could never afford. c***s. I decided not to go back on day two Haha, I went to one of those interviews too, and one for "filterqueen" same sales pitch for a machine than sits in your room sucking up the air, filtering it and pumping it back out again, "it's great for asthmatics"......bollox £1000 for an air filter in 1996 ate right, even as a naive 20 yr old fresh out college I could see that was a non starter. My worst job was a labourer on the "Halls of Broxburn" extension, I thought they got deliveries of pork to process and produce their excellent sausage rolls etc, they do, only the pork is a bit fresher than I imagined, my first day there I'm having a coffee waiting to start when I hear this horrendous squealing noise, on asking my supervisor what that noise is he tells me "that's the pigs coming in!" Gulp! On seeing the shock on my face he took great delight in taking me on a tour through the abattoir showing me how the pigs become sausage roll meat, not a pretty sight, it was a couple of years before I could look at pork again, the cnut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I don't think the police would be calling in CSI to take a DNA sample of steaming shite on someone desk! There's your next episode of Taggart right there. "What sort of sick b*****d would shite on a desk? Robbie, get it off to forensics. There's a wee plastic bag back in the back of the car." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K.T Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 This didn't make me laugh at all. If it's true, it's horrifyingly sad. The overall theme may be depressing but the way it's written makes it the funniest story in this whole thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 Christ, if I read much more of this thread I'll turn into a fecking vegetarian, and they irritate the shit out of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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