Adam Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My first job after leaving school was a delivery boy for an alcohol distribution company. I had to go out with the driver and deliver booze to various pubs and clubs around Scotland. The first week was fantastic, we were sent to places like Oban, Dundee and Tyndrum so it was decent wee jaunt away from the central belt. Was also good as we never had massive orders for these places so it wouldn't take too long and we could put our feet up or go for a bite to eat before heading back down the road. After a week though the driver I was working with left and I was punted onto the Glasgow route. The average drop off was around 600 cases a day to around 20 different locations. The driver for this route was also a total p***k and didn't bother his arse helping out so I was left to sweat it out on my tod. I wanted to chuck it but my Mum wouldn't let me and told me to stick it out. As the pay was so shite (£70 a week - YTS thing) I decided to take every hour of overtime going and would regularly end up working 12/13 hours a day five days a week. One day I pulled a mamoth 15 hour shift, finishing at 12am and needing to be back in for 7am the following day. After about a month of this I was ready to drop dead but was offered a job on the backshift preparing the orders for delivery. Naturally jumped at the chance as it was more money (£120 a week) and it was only four days a week. Ended up doing an extra couple of hours a day to take me up to 12 hour shifts as I needed the money. Stuck it out for nine months or so before deciding that it wasn't for me. Looking back I've genuinely no idea how I managed to stick it out for that first month with the utterly shite money I was getting paid. Not to mention my driver being a total bellend of a bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K.T Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I had a weekend job for several months while I was at college working as a laundry porter in a hotel. At first I thought "This is an easy gig" but then I soon remembered that the weekends were for drinking so most of my shifts were done hungover. There was nothing worse than working in a sweaty basement nursing a hangover. It took me a couple of months to forge a plan where I would line up the new orders of laundry cages down my wee corridor, blocking the entrance. I would then balance my wee stool back against the shelves and rest my head against the clean linen (still in their plastic wrapping) and dose off. My alarm system was the cages. If I heard them being pushed aside then I would spring up and start unloading a half packed cage. I got fired from that job but I didn't know so I just turned up to work as usual and then they were like "We fired you? Didn't you get the message?" I answered "No" So they kept me on. For another month or so anyway till I decided I wasn't going back. Ahh memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K.T Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages. That is the best story I have ever heard! I wish I could give you more than one green dot for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YHallSaint Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Phones 4 u, absolute scumbag of a company. Used to make us phone up the customers network provider to cancel their contract which is highly illegal and put people on price plans they didn't need. Jacked it after nearly assaulting the manager after I caught him going through my bag in the staff room looking for evidence i was drinking at work. Found out about a month later he had been sacked after he was caught stealing from other staff members. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimplyTON Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Summer job for 3months in between 1st & 2nd year at Uni at the hospital laundry How the feck I didn't catch anything from this job i'll never know Working on the incoming conveyor belt with just face mask, apron & rubber gloves to protect from all the shit that came from IRH Blood soaked sheets and towels caked in shit would have to be separated for washing all the while being wary of a stray needle or IV that found its way into the laundry basket. There was also a massive collection of treasures found too as well as the obvious surgical tools we had watches, books, eye glasses, torches etc. The camaraderie was good in the place though - everyone knew it was shit job so they made sure they made the most of what little they earned. Weeknight on the lash was not advisable as there was no way of surviving with anything short of strong stomach but we made up for it starting Friday lunchtime. Height of summer it smelled like someone took a dump in your oven, left it there for a week then turned the oven on and stuck your head in it Throw in my morning lift with a alcoholic workmate who liked to use opposite side pavement to keep him on the road in the morning and i'll never know how I survived that summer It did make me appreciate sticking it out at Uni and that turned out to be massive waste of time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Was hoping DA Baracas would have been here telling of how he was on his way to his first shift as a dishwasher in a hotel before saying f**k it and turning around to play the xbox or whatever it was. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capybara Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I have had some bad chef jobs,mainly in Edinburgh city centre. Long long housr in poor kitchens. And the festival was a bloody nightmare. That is why i jacked it in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Old College Bar on High Street in Glasgow. A lot of absolute scum used to drink there (although a lot of the regulars were decent), but loads of people would come in from the East End before heading into the city centre for the night out because it was fairly cheap. I regularly had to clean shite out of the urinals. The ratio of scum would increase massively whenever there was a Wolfetones 'gig' on at the Barras. Plus it was before the smoking ban so it was a fucking nightmare. That's my "local" now. I've not been in it yet, is it worth a trip? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Was hoping DA Baracas would have been here telling of how he was on his way to his first shift as a dishwasher in a hotel before saying f**k it and turning around to play the xbox or whatever it was. Brilliant. Ah those were the days. It was the hotel on Aberdour Road in Dunfermline. And I went back to play GTA San Andreas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Dispatch operative at the carlton bakery in dysart, by f**k that was a nightmare. 4am-12pm, with wedsnday off and nightshift every friday. All for the minimum wage, yup you heard it, no extra for a nightshift. We were allowed to help ourselves to fresh goods at breaktime though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Biomaterial gasification plant operator, literally, blood, guts, rotting meat sweating out fat and ooze. One pair of gloves a week, crap dust masks at a premium, working in an environment filled with RCF dust particles that scratch the inside of your lungs. Oh and it was constantly 50c before the oven doors were opened which we did by hand when the inside of the unit got down to a tepid 750c. One time one of the units burst into flames, serious raging fire, my boss and a fellow worker went to close the units door properly to trap the fire inside. I weighed up risking my life for £5 an hour or letting the place burn down. The place used so much gas that the fire procedure was, run like hell and hope you get far enough away before it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Did you get as far as the company song? I recall seeing an undercover documentary many years ago, it was hilarious. Surely it couldn't have been any worse than the William Shatner video? Are you John Bishop? Eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 McCormacks Music in Glasgow about 20 years or so ago. They took me on in the lead up to Christmas, telling me it was a permanent job, payed me less than the advert had stated, then sacked me early in the New Year after accusing me of dipping the fucking till. Still pisses me off to think back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 McCormacks Music in Glasgow about 20 years or so ago. They took me on in the lead up to Christmas, telling me it was a permanent job, payed me less than the advert had stated, then sacked me early in the New Year after accusing me of dipping the fucking till. Still pisses me off to think back Were you on the fiddle or could you not drum up any business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Were you on the fiddle or could you not drum up any business? Liking it The most depressing thing about the whole episode is that I only ever helped myself to the odd plectrum - I wish to fuck I had cleared them out now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 My last job was pretty shit. Working for a laminate flooring sales firm that was run by 2 brothers from glasgow who couldnt run a fuckin bath to be honest, I worked every saturday and sunday, only getting a day off during the week. We were paid cash in hand, which basically meant if there werent enough sales during the 2 days up until the friday, you would only receive so much of your wage until the next day, or the monday maybe even. They changed it eventually, sending a cheque in the post which the manager would then have to cash in at the bank. This went well up until the postal strikes, and we had to go back to using the sales money again. The manager wouldnt give you your wages till after 3pm on the friday, even if you were guaranteed them. If you had forgotten to bring lunch or didnt have any money the tight c**t wouldnt even give you a fiver out of your wages until after 3pm. The boss and the other lads were quite boring to say the least, you couldnt have a conversation about the footy at the weekends, as the both of them were computer geeks. "Say chris, did you see rooney's goal yesterday? fuckin peach" "No neil, but wait till i tell you about my new motherboard". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 For a summer during Uni, i worked in the grotty Poundstretchers in Inverness, absolutely bollocks job that consisted of putting up with shite banter from old people, stocking shelves, stocking up on all the kitchen knives that were stolen and constantly having to monitor people i went to school with (and lived near my gran) who were notorious thieves. Anyway, after i was put on the late shift, the manager when to cash up, I went for a shit and came back to no one there.I didn't have any keys so i rang the other manager in the store up at the Golden mile, he came down and did a safe check. 10k missing. I had to go back for about 5 interviews with area manager, regional managers and police. I had one week left before going back to uni and the c***s sacked me for gross negligence as i should have been in the managers office when he was cashing up. I had no comeback as i thought he was going to wait until i came back. Looking back i should have totally fought it but i just got pished the final week then when back to uni. The fucker didnt even ask if i wanted to go halfers. edit -spelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 For a summer during Uni, i worked in the grotty Poundstretchers in Inverness, absolutely bollocks job that consisted of putting up with shite banter from old people, stocking shelves, stocking up on all the kitchen knives that were stolen and constantly having to monitor people i went to school with (and lived near my gran) who were notorious thieves. Anyway, after i was put on the late shift, the manager when to cash up, I went for a shit and came back to no one there.I didn't have any keys so i rang the other manager in the store up at the Golden mile, he came down and did a safe check. 10k missing. I had to go back for about 5 interviews with area manager, regional managers and police. I had one week left before going back to uni and the c***s sacked me for gross negligence as i should have been in the managers office when he was cashing up. I had no comeback as i thought he was going to wait until i came back. Looking back i should have totally fought it but i just got pished the final week then when back to uni. The fucker didnt even ask if i wanted to go halfers. edit -spelling You should have explained that, on reflection, the better option would most certainly have been to take a shit in the manager's office. ETA: I wish I had done that at McCormacks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 You should have explained that, on reflection, the better option would most certainly have been to take a shit in the manager's office. I was 19, had no representative in the office and was bullied to f**k. It pisses me off looking back but the manager was long gone, they'd have made me clean up the shit too. I guess they needed a scapegoat as the last i heard through someone, he moved to Dover to work in customs. f**k knows how he landed that job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 IIt pisses me off looking back but the manager was long gone, they'd have made me clean up the shit too. You could have blamed the shit on the manager who done a runner. Not like they could prove otherwise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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