Worst place you've ever worked?

[Hedgecutter]

Litter picker at T in the Park, walking about with little blue flags to stick next to used condoms and needles.

Half the stuff that falls on the ground ends up in the mud and buried so the Kinross area should intrigue archaeologists for years to come, dating the layers by the beer can design.

[Hedgecutter]

I hope none of you work in re Co-op in the Gorbals, the checkout staff are a righ bunch of dour face counts.

I just want to give them a right good slap some mornings

I've got one of them in my local coopy who's the most miserable old bint in the world with one of those dour yorkshire accents. You can tell she's one of those who's normal staff but tries to act like supervisor because she's far older only to get put in her place by some student. Quite often I reckon she acts so miserable on purpose for pity and there's a high chance she'll hang herself in the cleaning cupboard the next time I come in to claim a tenner off the lotto machine.

[saints1884]

"New Generation Systems", or Kirby Hoovers as they're better known, back when i was about 19.

I'd just chucked my college course, and needed a job, any job. So i got interviewed and was one of the lucky 12 invited back to the induction.

The whole thing was hilarious. We sat through some fat ginger salesman try to tell us that the biggest selling area for a £919 vacuum cleaner was Fintry , then watched him demonstrate (and completely fail) to take it apart, and put it together again. The guy was an utter clown. The best part though, was the video. It was hosted by a clearly very skint William Shatner, telling us how great Kirby Hoovers were. I must have sat there open-mouthed in disbelief at the surreality of it all.

At the end of the day, we got told how much money we could make, at which point (coincidentally i'm sure) some young ned in a shirt and tie, who looked like he'd had an epileptic fit in the Elizabeth Duke Jewellery Section at Argos came in and told us in a thick Dundee accent that he'd made a "Thoosan Pound" in the last fortnight.

The final act of disbelief came when we were told how to sell these things in teams of two, and given a script which beggared belief. It was basically a guide in how to scare old people/folk who didn't know any better, and how to get them to sign up to credit agreements they could never afford. c***s.

I decided not to go back on day two

Are you John Bishop?

[ICTJohnboy]

I work in Poundland and I get asked this 20 times a day at least. I think they pay people to do it to try and break me.

I must admit if I'm out at the shops with my wife and start to get bored I've been known to pop into Poundland just to ask the price of something.

Some of their staff aren't always very diplomatic!

[TheScarf]

My current job. The only thing good about it is I can access the web.

Edit -

It is simply incomprehensable how the company I work for make a fucking penny. The owners are millionaires somehow.

I would give both testes to go back to by last job. Even if on slightly less pay.

[endieinreekie]

Old College Bar on High Street in Glasgow. A lot of absolute scum used to drink there (although a lot of the regulars were decent), but loads of people would come in from the East End before heading into the city centre for the night out because it was fairly cheap. I regularly had to clean shite out of the urinals. The ratio of scum would increase massively whenever there was a Wolfetones 'gig' on at the Barras. Plus it was before the smoking ban so it was a fucking nightmare.

[nessies long lost ghost]

My first job as a call centre worker.

[footiechick]

One of my first Saturday jobs was in Tandem shoe shop. Pink uniforms which were hideous.

The summer was the worst - some absolutely honkin disgusting feet

Gave that up to work on the deli counter in Asda which was a good laugh. We used to bake the pizzas that were coming up to out of date and eat them through the back in the chiller

[endieinreekie]

One of my first Saturday jobs was in Tandem shoe shop. Pink uniforms which were hideous.

The summer was the worst - some absolutely honkin disgusting feet

Gave that up to work on the deli counter in Asda which was a good laugh. We used to bake the pizzas that were coming up to out of date and eat them through the back in the chiller

I used to do that as well, was brilliant noshing on the free pizzas, although if there were no bosses on we would make our own up and scoff them in the preparation area. A lot of pilfering went on.

[alimci]

Litter picker at T in the Park, walking about with little blue flags to stick next to used condoms and needles.

THEN what happened when the whole of Kinross was covered in little blue flags?

Rentakill?

[weirdcal]

THEN what happened when the whole of Kinross was covered in little blue flags?

Rentakill?

Tactical nuke i'd thought

[Bert Raccoon]

Worked for two weeks selling time share when I was 16, "no madam this isn't time share, it's completely different" I gave up after deciding to go out on the piss on a Thursday night and never went in the next day.

When I was 19 and unemployed I took up a job getting people to sign up for charity. Not in the streets mind you, this was door to door, in high rise flats, in Govan. It wasd awful, you nevcer had a wage, purely commission and it was impossible to get anyone to sign up. The second day I was there I was going round with a girl and she was showing me what to do, I got halfway through the day and decided I'd had enough. We were up the top of a block of flats so i told the girl i was nipping out to the landing for fresh air. As soon as i got through the door and out of sight i legged it. She kept phoning and txting me asking where I was but I never looked back and just headed home. i don't know how anyone could do that, it certainly wasn't for me.

[Hedgecutter]

Tactical nuke i'd thought

Some mystery hygiene man came around to pick up the blue flag items, although most items were probably just picked up and used by the neds who'd used all their contraceptives by tieing their Tesco bags around their trainers to keep the mud off.

[Unleash The Nade]

A trainee lumberjack in the Sahara Desert

[SaltyTON]

As bad as working in a call centre was (and it was fucking mind-numbing, where they found these people I have no idea but fucking hell they were thick!), working in the ice cream factory behind Nardini in Largs was just torture.

Making the ice cream was okay, even cleaning the vats and loading stuff onto the truck... all fine, but filling the tubs and trying to put the lids on quickly enough as they fired off the conveyor belt was almost impossible!

All that for £2.50 an hour... I lasted a week, and think I spent more on travelling to Largs, on food and at the puggies than I got in my pay envelope at the end of the week!

[Unleash The Nade]

I once got a job in Dixons for some Christmas money.

I lasted 45 minutes.

Shite wages,so caught you till dipping??

[Jacksgranda]

I work in Poundland and I get asked this 20 times a day at least. I think they pay people to do it to try and break me.

And what do they get paid - a pound?

[TheScarf]

Just reminded me of another job I had when I was a student nurse. I worked in a Comet in the TV section and this guy always came in ranting and raving about his HD TV, amongst other things, being faulty.

Anyway, after a few to-ings and fro-ings between the guys who fixed it and the customer himself, the fat cunt came in one day and threw it at my head and told me to fix it now, knowing full well it had shattered into various pieces.

I chucked it in not long after that. That really dented my confidence.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

After dropping out of university, I was desperate for a job and ended up as a debt tracer at Wescot (debt collection agency).

Some of the tricks you were supposed to use to make your targets were unethical and immoral - others were downright illegal... like the following:

Jimmy owes money but you only have his parent's number. When you ask his mum for Jimmy's number, she refuses to give you it as Jimmy's tipped her off. She says that she'll pass on your number to him but you know Jimmy has more sense than to phone in to volunteer his new address. So you agree to her passing on the message, but ask her to phone him straight away as it's "important" (She thinks I'm trying to get in touch with Jimmy from "when he worked at Asda" - a misleading phrase to make her think we're friends without actually lying).

So she says goodbye and hangs up, but you don't hang up and instead press the "silent" button. When she picks up the phone to phone Jimmy, obviously she can't dial out because I'm still at the other end. So she tries pressing numbers, thinks there's a fault and tries again in a few minutes. Meanwhile, a girl from the other side of the office is summoned over. Next time Jimmy's mum tries to dial his number, she takes the phone off silent and says "BT Operator. There is a fault with this line. What number are you trying to contact?"

And once you have their number, it's easy enough to phone them and get their address by pretending to be their mobile phone provider and offering them £50 if they fill out a questionnaire that you need to send to their home address.

Shady b*****ds. Thank funk I got fired!

[Newbornbairn]

Worked for two months at a fish factory in Eyemouth - 5am to 9am six days a week tailing prawns (ripping live prawns apart with your fingers) then on call all day to unload the boats as they came in. Can't stand the smell of seafood at the best of times, I was permanently swallowing bile the entire 2 months.

Found myself broke and out of work so I borrowed a set of ladders and went door to door cleaning windows. In January in the middle of a cauld, cauld winter. Feart o heights and standing shivering at the top of an icy ladder washing windows in the snow.

Worst job - worked in a slaughterhouse in Guildford when I was a teenager. I was given a sledgehammer and told to crack the cow's skulls with it. When I asked about bolt guns they laughed and said they didn't have anything so modern. All morning I killed cows. If you didn't swing the sledgehammer hard enough, the cow went fuckin' nuts and tried to break the crush. Hit the thing too hard and the sledgehammer smashed the skull and you got covered in brains. By lunchtime I was knackered, but when I got to the canteen everybody stood up and applauded. Turned out they were having a laugh with the new guy and I could have been using a bolt gun. I walked out and never went back. Didn't even ask for wages.