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The Gavin Berry Awards for Shitty Football Journalism


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Heard Pat Bonnar do a summary of Celtic's friendly today. I have no idea who they were playing as he never mentioned the opposing team's name once and never referred to a single opposition player.

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From the Daily Record Championship preview. Rangers and Hibs get a full page. A few other clubs get a couple of paragraphs.

Alloa, ourselves and Morton get this

"Alloa and Dumbarton are likely to find themselves battling relegation alongside Morton, who gained promotion to the Championship on the final day of last season".

They also reckon Queens will: "struggle at the lower end of the table", and Raith could be "a dark horse for the playoffs thanks to their new signings" (James Craigen, Darren Petrie and Craig Wighton)

Livingston's couple of lines are entirely about Rangers: "Former Rangers youngster Darren Cole is looking to prove himself again after being released at Ibrox over a year ago, and the defender, who made his 'Gers debut in a Champions League match against Bursaspor showed his capabilities after signing on at Livi towards the end of last season".

The sooner I write the season previews the better.

Today they managed to create a fictional character named Kirk Broadwood; even worse is it was in a sub heading.

The other week they were talking about roll reversals; think it was the article about the first leg of the ICT game.

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The daft bint on Sportsound reporting from Station Park mentioned that Greig Spence lined up for Cowdenbeath coming straight from the Rovers completely missing out the time he was at Alloa.

Jane Lewis? Hardly surprising if so, she once went through a whole match report calling The Pars St.Mirren.

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Apparently the Daily Record will no longer be carrying match reports from League One or Two this season.

Only a blanket round up of what happened.

Well that's absolutely rubbish. No doubt it'll be like this. Every week.

"In Ladbrokes League One runaway leaders Dunfermline continued their dominance with a 3-0 victory against Albion Rovers at Cliftonhill. Michael Moffat netted twice and said afterwards he was "Pleased to score a couple". Ayr managed Ian McCall said he was satisfied with a 1-1 draw with Brechin in a game that saw Paddy Boyle sent off early on. The pressure continues to ramp up on Cowdenbeath gaffer, Colin Nish after a 4-0 home defeat to Dick Campbell's Forfar Athletic. Stranraer and Airdrieonians shared three goals at Stair Park, with Blues hitman Craig Malcolm scoring 2 in the dying minutes to rescue a point for last seasons promotion hopefuls. Peterhead won 1-0 at home to Stenhousemuir thanks to a Rory McAllister strike."

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Well that's absolutely rubbish. No doubt it'll be like this. Every week.

"In Ladbrokes League One runaway leaders Dunfermline continued their dominance with a 3-0 victory against Albion Rovers at Cliftonhill. Michael Moffat netted twice and said afterwards he was "Pleased to score a couple". Ayr managed Ian McCall said he was satisfied with a 1-1 draw with Brechin in a game that saw Paddy Boyle sent off early on. The pressure continues to ramp up on Cowdenbeath gaffer, Colin Nish after a 4-0 home defeat to Dick Campbell's Forfar Athletic. Stranraer and Airdrieonians shared shared goals at Stair Park, with Blues hitman Craig Malcolm scoring 2 in the dying minutes to rescue a point for last seasons promotion hopefuls. Peterhead won 1-0 at home to Stenhousemuir thanks to a Rory McAllister strike."

Yes, you see that all the time in these round-ups. Basically, you get exactly the same information as you get on the results page, but this time, in prose form.

Utterly pointless.

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Livingston's couple of lines are entirely about Rangers: "Former Rangers youngster Darren Cole is looking to prove himself again after being released at Ibrox over a year ago, and the defender, who made his 'Gers debut in a Champions League match against Bursaspor showed his capabilities after signing on at Livi towards the end of last season".

I remember a Sun match report from a Stirling v Alloa game from about 15 years ago -- there was not one mention of anything that went on in the actual game or any description of the two goals. It was literally all about Andy Walker playing for Alloa and how he used to play for Celtic.

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