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Annoying things people write on Facebook


Geedub-MFC

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Some c**t on mine has just checked in at the local hospital with their child. No other information.

Cue loads of 'hope all is ok babe xxx' type posts.

f**k off

A girl I used to work beside posts that kind of shit about once a month, I think it's a genuine case of Munchausens by proxy !

I'd delete her but she's genuine car-crash-tv material ... she's also regularly posts pictures that she claims were taken by her husband of her sleeping that are obviously selfies ... complete with fake eyelashes etc.

Edited by Ned Nederlander
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I saw a dundee fan site post up an articcle in the daily record greetin about the ref's performance. Now I know ref's can be shite and get a lot of things wrong, but an article in the national press greetin about it? Also someone on the fan page started a petition to get him sacked. Minter.

Getting flashbacks to the great referee conspiracy scandal of the Bonetti era.

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I saw a dundee fan site post up an articcle in the daily record greetin about the ref's performance. Now I know ref's can be shite and get a lot of things wrong, but an article in the national press greetin about it? Also someone on the fan page started a petition to get him sacked. Minter.

Non Deluded Dee/ PhoenixOfTheAshes no doubt. Great thread but he refuses to take note of his own head leaving it's body.

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Some hipster "father" singing to a still born baby. Wtf is this grief chasing all about? I honestly couldn't care less for babies with tubes up their noses. Am I the bad guy because I didn't pretend to care on social media? Mendacious fuckers that perpetuate that ambulance chasing pish.

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Am I the bad guy because I didn't pretend to care on social media? Mendacious fuckers that perpetuate that ambulance chasing pish.

Not at all , Parents, pet owners and people who eat food are the bad guys on social media

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A girl I used to work with always wanted to be an actress in musicals or something. To be fair I heard her sing once and she was very good. However she recently posted this on facebook;

"Today I have said goodbye to one part of my life. However as the world works in weird, wonderful and mysterious ways, I have also today said hello to a new chapter in my life. I chased my reality not my dream as dreams rarely exist.... I am looking forward to my new and positive start, as of Tuesday I am Supervisor of Womenswear and Lingerie at Debenhams , I am so proud I have been given this opportunity"

It's Scotland's largest Lingerie section I understand.

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http://www.jewsnews.co.il/2013/11/04/an-amazing-supermarket-incident-in-canada-muslim-woman-is-put-right-in-her-place/

"Nobody knows where this happened or indeed how true it is, but rumour has it the old man said *insert extremely specific quote which goes on for about six sentences*".

Such a legit story.

Haysyoos Crispie; is that shit still doing the rounds? I first saw it around about the time Bill Gates was going to give $10,000 to everyone who forwarded an email.

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I've stopped using Facebook for a bit. Too much "birthday caird pish" as jack and victor would say. Those dead baby pics with "don't scroll down without typing amen" were the tipping point for me. No fuckin need at all.

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I saw a post yesterday where someone had written 'I lent a so called friend money and they've not paid me back. I am shaming them on here'. They then posted a link to their friends Facebook page.

Of course, the link was designed to go to the page of the people who clicked it. Cue loads of comments from people claiming they didn't know the OP, didn't owe any money and threatening to sue.

Then the full time facebookers came on moaning about their lack of privacy and the fact everyone who clicked the link would see their profile. A few people tried to explain it was a joke, but they could not comprehend this.

First class trolling from the first guy.

Edited by Silvio
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Just remembered this beauty from a couple of weeks ago. All in the one status update.

"Well, it seems that, even at the age of (edit: he's definitely old enough to know better), the tapestry of life can still be woven into unexpected patterns! I have, for the first time in my life, been stood up for a date!!!

Here's how it all unravelled! We'd been speaking for about a week and a half online and through texts etc. and decided to meet at 4pm today in the area she lives in. I text her today at 2.30 to ask where she wanted to meet, but got no response. I left anyway so that I could get there for 4pm for when she got back to me, but as it turns out, that didn't happen! So I sat and waited for a bit, then decided to cut my losses and leave. But, as I got up, I happened to glance over at the Starbucks across the road, and there she was, giggling and trying to hide her face, with a female friend! Well, I can't actually be 100% sure it was her, but if it wasn't, she's got a doppelgänger running around, and the fact that she was looking right at me suggests it was her! So I just had a chuckle to myself and left.

The good thing is, and this isn't just me indulging in macho bravado, I genuinely don't give two shits about it! Well, that's not strictly true. I don't give a shit that she didn't find me attractive enough to actually meet - you can't be attracted to everyone you meet - that's life. What has annoyed me is that she let me sit and wait, rather than doing the decent thing and letting me know, or even just sitting for an hour and being civil, and then telling me later.

She hasn't been in touch since - and I do actually have a question about that. On the off chance that she does send me a message to apologise or whatever, do I ignore it? Or reply, and point out how shitty it is to do something like that? I'm leaning towards ignoring her. I don't want her walking around thinking she's gotten to me, or that I'm completely cut up about it all! And judging by her reaction, it looks like she might feed off this kind of thing. I would like to point out to her that treating people in that way is completely immature and disrespectful, but I doubt I'd change her ways!

Anyway, that was my evening! It's actually been a strangely galvanising and positive experience - it's her loss, and it made me realise that being stood up really isn't that bad! And when I got back home, the shop round the corner only charged me 50p for my litre bottle of skimmed milk because the sell by date is tomorrow! Have that wench!"

Mission accomplished for the boy because he got 77 subsequent comments. Probably a record for my facebook.

Edited by Billy Dynamite
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