AMMjag Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I THINK WE SHOULD ALL READ THIS AND DO WHAT IT SUGGESTS. iT IS NOT MY STORY BUT IT REALLY TOUCHED ME. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen. Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their uniforms, As they began h...eading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone) Was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering. When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for, It hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red blooded Briton who still loves this country And supports our troops and their families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes Who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work, and enjoy our home without fear of reprisal. Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women a young girl, Not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. He knelt down and said 'hi,' the little girl then asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her. The young soldier didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her daddy. Suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek. The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter’s name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in Afghanistan for 5 months now. As the mum was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up. When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it. After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.' He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a Kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying 'Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.' The mum at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mum. I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded. As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own. That young soldier in one last act of moment turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek. We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an Englishman. RED FRIDAYS Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Englishmen and women who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many English people, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Britain supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every Briton who supports our men and women afar will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV, let's make Great Britain on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football team If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long before Britain is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...'We need your support and your prayers'... Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday. IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON IF YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED---- P&B has taught me to treat shite like this with the simple but glorious '^^^didn't happen lol.' The amount of seethe it extracts from the braindead fools with union jack profile pictures is unreal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 My mum left her Facebook logged on when she was on my laptop earlier. Now, she does this quite often, and I usually log off immediately. This time, however, I couldn't help but have a browse through her news-feed. Shameful, I know. One of her friends got 20 (TWENTY) likes for tagging her two neighbours in a post which read 'Remember it's the green bins tomorrow ladies!". To put this into a bit of perspective, my mother put a photo of me looking dece as f**k before my social/prom last night and it got 26 likes. Wholly unfair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 My mum left her Facebook logged on when she was on my laptop earlier. Now, she does this quite often, and I usually log off immediately. This time, however, I couldn't help but have a browse through her news-feed. Shameful, I know. One of her friends got 20 (TWENTY) likes for tagging her two neighbours in a post which read 'Remember it's the green bins tomorrow ladies!". To put this into a bit of perspective, my mother put a photo of me looking dece as f**k before my social/prom last night and it got 26 likes. Wholly unfair. you're approximately 34% more likeable than a green bin, what's your issue? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 If you didn't frape her then you've disappointed your generation 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Your mother must be so proud. TBF, I was contemplating something similar last week for my Facebook. Difference being I was there to potentially find folk like that guilty if need be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Get junkies Out of Dundee City Centre page is an absolute maelstrom of fail and intolerance. Also, half the folk I know who like it are well partial to a wee pill or line of a weekend and probably cause more bother when pished than any junkie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrfields_Largs Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Probably been mentioned before, but pages for morons to tell other morons where the traffic cops are... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 A girl I went to school with checked in at Barlinnie today to inform us all that she was visiting her boyfriend. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orainn Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 A girl I went to school with checked in at Barlinnie today to inform us all that she was visiting her boyfriend. Dece banter IMO. I'd have liked that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "absolutely devastated I'm no longer going to Download because of personal reasons, but I hope everyone has a boss week!" I think you can imagine the replies she got. What a fucking jobby. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "absolutely devastated I'm no longer going to Download because of personal reasons, but I hope everyone has a boss week!" I think you can imagine the replies she got. What a fucking jobby. I'm not sure...PM me...***.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisGRAEME Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Get junkies Out of Dundee City Centre page is an absolute maelstrom of fail and intolerance. Also, half the folk I know who like it are well partial to a wee pill or line of a weekend and probably cause more bother when pished than any junkie. This page is just...wow. My favourite thing is that the comment about 'junkies with dugs not looking after them' has the most likes of any I've seen. Because there's only one thing worse than drug taking, and that's animal cruelty. Additionally, lol at the idea that the folk that hang about the town centre looking for 20p are the only drug takers in the city. Lolololol. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Christ. That page is indeed a shitgibbon enclosure. The guy running it most definitely cares more his own self-image and bigging himself up than he does about making Dundee "tourist friendly". For example: If you have seen a discarded needle hit like and say where. I'm going to be speaking to the evening telegraph tomorrow. So basically you're asking people to "like" seeing needles lying around. Should junkies get benefits? Aye. Cos I'm sure they'll be much less of a nuisance if you don't give them any money whatsoever. Hot weather brings out stinking mingers who think they are hot. You are putting people off their ice cream. town is full of them. Didn't realise the page extended to mingers as well as junkies. Obviously all my sarky comments are posted here rather than on the page cos I'm a fearty shitebag 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 https://www.facebook.com/EmbarrassYourExGlasgow?ref=stream&hc_location=stream Embarass your ex - glasgow -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 https://www.facebook.com/EmbarrassYourExGlasgow?ref=stream&hc_location=stream Embarass your ex - glasgow FFS. Stick a NSFW warning on that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Nomad Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 https://www.facebook.com/EmbarrassYourExGlasgow?ref=stream&hc_location=stream Embarass your ex - glasgow Taken down already? I just get sent to my homepage through that link.Not a friend of mine on Facebook, but got pointed to it by a lass down the pub on Tuesday. There's a guy who plays darts for the local pub, in his late 30's I'd say, right sweaty fat b*****d. Sitting still makes him sweat I kid not. Anyhow got told to check out his Facebook, and it's an entirely new person he's created for himself. Six pack model as his profile pic & every update going on about his wife, who he links up as some hot blonde from New Zealand. He also seems to have generated friends in far flung places who he calls brothers & sisters, every post is utter shite. Is this sort of nonsense commonplace among the idiots on this planet? I'm caught between pishing myself & genuinely distressed! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 (edited) Finally found something funny someone shared, its an amazon customer review for veet. After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myoself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didnt have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadnt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering ooooohhh that feels good Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadnt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasnt the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didnt improve my status. So to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect. Edited June 14, 2013 by Tamdunk 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YassinMoutaouakil Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 If you ever feel stupid, take a look at Troll Football and you'll instantly know you're smarter than everyone on that page. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effeffsee_the2nd Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 The "craig levein for the sack" page is a great laugh the guy who runs it puts out deliberate shit everyday and gets at least 50 bites from absolute morons 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BC17 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 (edited) Some roaster on my Facebook liked this today: Edited June 15, 2013 by BC17 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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