Father Dougal McGuire Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Theres been a few but favourite to date - Me - (annoyed at being charged £15 for me and my lass to go see Paranormal Activity) when the f**k did the prices go upto £7 50? Lass - Maybe thats because it's just out? Bring it up at least twice a week Same girl came up with the idea that football players should wear velcro to stop them pulling each others shirts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnyarb Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Theres been a few but favourite to date - Me - (annoyed at being charged £15 for me and my lass to go see Paranormal Activity) when the f**k did the prices go upto £7 50? Lass - Maybe thats because it's just out? Bring it up at least twice a week I'm failing to see what's so stupid about this? -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nizlopi Posted May 29, 2011 Share Posted May 29, 2011 Same girl came up with the idea that football players should wear velcro to stop them pulling each others shirts thats actually quite a smart idea. dragons den here i come 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) At the end of the game tonight a Barca player had a Brazil flag around him. Wife - "Why is he wearing that?" Me - "Probably because he comes from Brazil." Wife - "Thought his team were from Rome?" Me - "You thought Barcelona were from Rome?!" Wife - "Oh, is it Barcelona? I thought it was AC Milan!" ME - "You thought that AC 'Milan' were from Rome?.." A girl I was watching it with didn't understand the concept that there'd only be extra time if it was a draw, and she asked if it was live. It's fair enough that not everyone knows about football but come on, for fucks sake. Anyway, earlier in this thread I was talking about a friend that assumed I played for Hibs, well I've remembered one of our first conversations: Me: So you go to Strathclyde, my twin brother goes there. Girl: Oh you have a twin, are you identical? Me: Yeah we are. Girl: What's his name, I might know him? Whit? Edited May 30, 2011 by Guest 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Do you ever get the feeling that lassies don't actually believe half the stupid shit the say. It seems like sometimes they just say anything to keep a conversation going with out actually thinking about what is coming out of their mouth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnyarb Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Oh I knew someone playing articulate and the clues he was giving was, "it's where you go! It's like somewhere on Earth!" No-one got it and he said, "yeah well no wonder no one got it there's a typo.". The word was plaice. Yeah that was me but still quite funny looking back at it. -4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Dougal McGuire Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Probably more scary than funny this one but when i was in 3rd year at school we were in History and the teacher was talking about the Scottish defeating the English at Bannockburn and a girl asked me what defeat means. I was lost for words for a while but let her off because she was smoking hot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 A girl asked in my History class hotly contested the teacher's outrageous claims that Jesus was a Jew. We were about 17 at the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Around nine years ago I mentioned "Orkney cheddar" to my then-girlfriend, now-wife, who said, "I thought orkneys were extinct." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) My mum once gave me a lift to the game but said "I'm probably a little over the limit just now so I don't want to go up to the ground where there'll be police. I'll drop you off at the police station here, it'll be easier to turn anyway." Also, girl on Aberdeen to Edinburgh train while crossing the Forth Bridge - "Do we need our passports when we get into Ireland here?" Edited May 30, 2011 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbykdy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Got some mates who at times can certainly be described as "widden" Here are a couple of belters from them. On a flight to Gran Canaria and the captain comes on over the tannoy "Today ladies and gentlemen we will be cruising at approximtely 34 thousand feet" To which my pal pipes up "That must be quite close tae the sun then, eh?!!!" Needless to say we all couldnt talk for about 15 minutes afterwards due to pissin ourselves laughing. Another one was when another mate thought it was a 4 hour time difference when we went to Ireland. Great times 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 To which my pal pipes up "That must be quite close tae the sun then, eh?!!!" You just reminded me of a moment on our supporters bus when someone looked out of the window and said, "f***ing hell, that moon's affa bright the day!". This was 5pm on a summers evening leaving Airdrie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 "Is gas a liquid?" -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayrgirl Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Oh I knew someone playing articulate and the clues he was giving was, "it's where you go! It's like somewhere on Earth!" No-one got it and he said, "yeah well no wonder no one got it there's a typo.". The word was plaice. Yeah that was me but still quite funny looking back at it. You're not quite getting the point of this thread, are you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 A mate of mine on the topic of the bloke on Scottish fivers: Mate: "That's Isle of Whithorn" Me: "No, it's Lord Islay" Mate: "You sure? I'm pretty sure it's Isle of Whithorn" Me: "Yes, I'm sure. Lord Islay was a man, Isle of Whithorn is a place" Mate: *doubtingly* "HHmmm." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nizlopi Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Around nine years ago I mentioned "Orkney cheddar" to my then-girlfriend, now-wife, who said, "I thought orkneys were extinct." i've just got funny lloks off my fellow library users after laughing really loudly at this 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 You're not quite getting the point of this thread, are you? That's because he's a fucking retard. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Best thread EVER 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I knew she'd slip up! Her dad told her that her relatives had their 50th wedding anniversary 4 years ago. She pipes up with "How long have they been married?" A very intelligent girl with an A in Higher Maths, would you believe... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Minker from Aberdeen's equivalent of The Scheme in Subway just now: "How long's a footlong?" Fcuking facepalm. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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