Out of the mouth of babes...

[Willie Gray Ate My Hamster 449]

I've remembered another one.

Discussing cruise control on a potential car purchase:

"What if it went wrong and made us crash into a field or something?"

She thought cruise control steered the car for you.

[DA Baracus 14,721]

Whilst flicking through the tv last night, we noticed that there were a lot of 9/11 type programs on.

To which the bird said;

"Oh 9/11, did that happen in November 2009?"

[Kris. 488]

My missus told me a story about her cousins girlfriend, and how she had asked how she would go about getting her money changed currency for going to...Inverness.

I've met the lassie, and I'll be surprised if even that is the stupidest thing shes ever said.

[lichtie23 4,382]

A girl a work with (stunning by the way) informed me that her Vagina has 2 holes! She only found this out 2 weeks ago

[theentomologist 29]

Um they would, would they not?

technically, it wouldn't be kylie -unless it was actually kylie singing?- it would be pete waterman they'd pay for using the 'version'

[Dilbert 8]

On holiday in Corfu a few years back with the family. Me and the other half were enduring the "hotel entertainment" (loose description).

Anyway, I happened to look up and comment that the moon looked "huge tonight". A few moments silence, then up she pipes, "I know it might seem stupid, but is that the same moon we see back home?".

What planet are they from?

Edited September 11, 2010 by Dilbert

[Breaking Decency 403]

On holiday in Corfu a few years back with the family. Me and the other half were enduring the "hotel entertainment" (loose description).

Anyway, I happened to look up and comment that the moon looked "huge tonight". A few moments silence, then up she pipes, "I know it might seem stupid, but is that the same moon we see back home?".

What planet are they from?

I'm not 100% sure of this, but I think I remember reading a book that said they're from Venus. That would certainly make sense since it has the densest atmosphere. *cough*

[kiwififer 347]

I've remembered another one.

Discussing cruise control on a potential car purchase:

"What if it went wrong and made us crash into a field or something?"

She thought cruise control steered the car for you.

[.Stuart. 1,763]

Whilst flicking through the tv last night, we noticed that there were a lot of 9/11 type programs on.

To which the bird said;

"Oh 9/11, did that happen in November 2009?"

Thinkin' about it, she's almost right enough

[Sweet Pete 3,501]

Thinkin' about it, she's almost right enough

It's taken you 9 years (at least) to realise that Americans state the date as month, then day?

[Meatwad 241]

Talking to one of my female pals about my weekend a few weeks ago:

Her: What is it you do when you're at the football

Me: Well, I usually just pay in then go and get a pie and a bovril then go to my seat to watch the game.

Her: Bovril? Isn't that what you wipe your bum with?

Me: Sarah, thats bog roll.

No that funny in all honesty but she's had some other moments where her mind just deserts her, other than that she's actually quite clever

[space cadette 5]

picked up the bairn from school on thursday, he told us that he'd been learning about dragons that day.

the wife turned to me and asked - "did dragons ever really exist? obviously they couldn't fly, but, like, fire breathing ones?"

another time, we sat down to watch some champions league game. during the build up to the game i went to the toilet, when i came back down there was a minutes silence taking place. I asked her who the silence was for and she replied

" dunno, turn up the volume and find out"

loads more that i canny mind just now.

[Ayrgirl 117]

I've remembered another one.

Discussing cruise control on a potential car purchase:

"What if it went wrong and made us crash into a field or something?"

She thought cruise control steered the car for you.

I didn't mention fields

[SoapMactavish 222]

You don't have female friends.

This.

[thejailender 132]

I don't recall the exact conversation, but about 8 years ago or so my in-laws had their central heating converted to main gas.

Anyway I was sat at their dinning table and I somehow happened to mention something about the hot water in the radiators (This is the bit of the conversation I can't remember on how it came about).

Anyway my mother in law says "We don't have water in the radiators anymore, we had it converted to gas"

Me : "Yeah, but it's still hot water that is pumped through the radiators"

Mother-in-law : "No son you don't understand, we've already had it changed over, we are fully converted to gas now"

Me : "I know that, but the gas just heats the water which is still pumped around the radiators"

Mother-in-law " No, we used to have water heated from the fire for the radiators, now we are fully gas central heating"

Me (realising that when my mother in law knows something there is no point in trying to convince her otherwise) : "Yeah, your right - silly me"

[lichtie23 4,382]

Never back down to your mother in law

[Tamdunk 1,035]

A lass asked what fake tan my mate uses....

He's Indian.

[saint dave 326]

By coincidence I actually saw ChuggingTon tonight

Thought he was in Holland?

[weirdcal 1,632]

sadly my lass has decided ,after appearing to be bright and switched on, to come out with this gem.

"the religious troubles in Ireland is between the Catholics and Christians"

she will not accept that Catholics are Christians and its between Catholics and Protestants.

apparently its a case of what do i know, i dont believe in religion so i am bound to be wrong .

[Tamdunk 1,035]

Tell her that the pope's Jewish