hk blues Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 (edited) One of our cats was in a fight with a snake a few months ago, and it was injured. There is no way I was going to wring its neck, I wouldn't even know where the neck starts and finishes on a snake. I used a wooden stake to finish it off. Edited July 3, 2021 by hk blues 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, hk blues said: One of our cats was in a fight with a snake a few months ago, and it was injured. There is no way I was going to wring its neck, I wouldn't even know where the neck starts and finishes on a snake. I used a wooden stake to finish it off. There was a big f**k off snake under my house when the wee man was just born. I thought it was coming in the house to eat him. So I sprayed it with deodorant until it was confused, then chopped it's head of with a hoe. Threw it in the river, neighbours were running a mile, they are all shitbags. Headless snake and they were still all screaming. Complete roll reversal, I was the jungle man, they were become all city slicker westerns. . Now I cook them. ETA - I cook the snake, not the neighbours. I'm no madman. Edited July 3, 2021 by SlipperyP 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 11 minutes ago, SlipperyP said: There was a big f**k off snake under my house when the wee man was just born. I thought it was coming in the house to eat him. So I sprayed it with deodorant until it was confused, then chopped it's head of with a hoe. Threw it in the river, neighbours were running a mile, they are all shitbags. Headless snake and they were still all screaming. Complete roll reversal, I was the jungle man, they were become all city slicker westerns. . Now I cook them. ETA - I cook the snake, not the neighbours. I'm no madman. We don't get many, I've only had 2 in my area in the past 6 years. Saying that, my mate's wife was having a square go with one last week - both my mate and their son were standing well back (as were me and the wife). I have tried snake soup in China but wasn't a fan! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, hk blues said: We don't get many, I've only had 2 in my area in the past 6 years. Saying that, my mate's wife was having a square go with one last week - both my mate and their son were standing well back (as were me and the wife). I have tried snake soup in China but wasn't a fan! I used to work here https://www.billabongsanctuary.com.au/ had many an encounter with snakes. Snake is better when fried with lots of chilli. Not a fan of snake soup. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 29 minutes ago, SlipperyP said: I'm no madman. I beg to differ, brer. I beg to differ. x 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sugna Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 4 hours ago, hk blues said: One of our cats was in a fight with a snake a few months ago, and it was injured. There is no way I was going to wring its neck, I wouldn't even know where the neck starts and finishes on a snake. I used a wooden stake to finish it off. I can't be the only one reading this, and being terrified at the idea of vampire snakes. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, sugna said: I can't be the only one reading this, and being terrified at the idea of vampire snakes. You can't be too careful with those slimy fuckers! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 4 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Complete roll reversal, I was the jungle man, they were become all city slicker westerns. . Now I cook them. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 A wee coal tit flew into our living room window last year and stunned itself. It was lying on a bush in the front garden. The missus spots it and says “might as well put it out if it’s misery then, I’ll get you a big rock”. Picked the wee fella up, gave him a stroke, he shat on my hand and flew off. Think the missus was disappointed tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 37 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: A wee coal tit flew into our living room window last year and stunned itself. It was lying on a bush in the front garden. The missus spots it and says “might as well put it out if it’s misery then, I’ll get you a big rock”. Picked the wee fella up, gave him a stroke, he shat on my hand and flew off. Think the missus was disappointed tbh. She was taking to the tit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclizine Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: She was taking to the tit. Which one? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: She was taking to the tit. I’ll leave this for someone else to comment on. Talking of communication and tits, you had anymore texts from Mrs P? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 A big knife would be enough to take down a snake, surely 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 59 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: A wee coal tit flew into our living room window last year and stunned itself. It was lying on a bush in the front garden. The missus spots it and says “might as well put it out if it’s misery then, I’ll get you a big rock”. Picked the wee fella up, gave him a stroke, he shat on my hand and flew off. Think the missus was disappointed tbh. She's maybe got a taste for the old ultraviolence. One of my mum's relatives liked to go for long walks in rural Perthshire and would tell stories about the animals she'd "put out of their misery" on her travels. She told me about seeing a cat by the road near her house that had clearly been run over, so she grabbed a pointy stick and decided to "run it through it's head" to stop it suffering. She got within a few feet when it got up and ran off; definitely seemed a bit disappointed. Heard Billy Connolly tell a similar tale years later, which was funnier and less likely to leave a young child terrified that someone might decide to put them out of their misery when they were sleeping 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 5 hours ago, hk blues said: You can't be too careful with those slimy fuckers! Snakes aren't slimy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: A wee coal tit flew into our living room window last year and stunned itself. It was lying on a bush in the front garden. The missus spots it and says “might as well put it out if it’s misery then, I’ll get you a big rock”. Picked the wee fella up, gave him a stroke, he shat on my hand and flew off. Think the missus was disappointed tbh. Why, is she the one who usually shites on your hand? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Jacksgranda said: Why, is she the one who usually shites on your hand? Only when she needs money for fags. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 13 hours ago, Jacksgranda said: Snakes aren't slimy. This one was! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 ...gave him a stroke, he shat on my hand and flew off...You sure it was shit?... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 5 hours ago, hk blues said: This one was! @Jacksgranda is correct, snakes are not slimy, they may look it, but when held, they are more or less smooth but have traction/grip to them them can be very unnerving. I have a photo of me at the billabong with a massive boa, must have been at least 3 metres long all round me. If it went for, I'm sure it would have got the fight of it's life, then won. However, it was well fed and quite docile. Other story I have of big snakes......I was on my moped heading to the local shop about 2km away, when a big dog came out of nowhere to challenge my riding skills, I was in no mood, for a square go, so put the foot down to get away, as you know they run faster....I then hit a massive boa that was strung right over the 2 lane road, fell of the motorbike, to look back expecting the dog to be on me. Little shitebag had noticed the snake as was running the opposite way. Snake hardly moved. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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