Derry Alli Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Barlow leaving the Cathouse in the early morning sunshine, there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 Barlow leaving the Cathouse in the early morning sunshine, there. Deirdre turned the weans against him 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) The wife has had a smartphone for a few years but keeps her sim in £20 handset because she prefers having buttons she can push. She uses her smartphone as a wee tablet in the house. She dropped her handset in the toilet the other day so had to put her sim in the smartphone. I pointed out that this meant she'd be able to get internet on it outside the house. She disagreed, because the wi fi is in the house. I explained that the contract i got her a phone on has mobile Internet so she can get the Internet anywhere. "so i can use anyone's wifi now?" She has bought another £20 handset. I think it's for the best. Edited May 25, 2020 by coprolite 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 3 hours ago, coprolite said: The wife has had a smartphone for a few years but keeps her sim in £20 handset because she prefers having buttons she can push. She uses her smartphone as a wee tablet in the house. She dropped her handset in the toilet the other day so had to put her sim in the smartphone. I pointed out that this meant she'd be able to get internet on it outside the house. She disagreed, because the wi fi is in the house. I explained that the contract i got her a phone on has mobile Internet so she can get the Internet anywhere. "so i can use anyone's wifi now?" She has bought another £20 handset. I think it's for the best. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before, but I visited my aunt in Canada a few years back and although she had a modern smartphone on a contract, she never accessed the internet unless she could use someone's wifi. I turned on her mobile data and showed her how she could use Googlemaps to find her way around. She was delighted, but less so when she got her next bill when she'd been charged a pretty exorbitant fee for going over her internet data limit of 0MB. (my aunt had somehow managed to purchase a mobile phone contract with zero data). I was fizzing on her behalf, and I told her to phone up Bell Telecom and a) get them to cancel the charges - putting on the confused pensioner act if required and b) add some data onto her mobile contract to let her continue using Googlemaps and access other internet services when no Wifi was available. She did indeed get a refund but when I visited next Christmas, she still didn't have any mobile data - and indeed, you couldn't even get internet access at all without Wifi. Yes, she somehow managed to get her mobile internet capped at 0MB per month ... and she now pays an extra $7.50 per month for the privilege of NOT being able to use mobile data, even in emergencies. Not sure who comes out of that story worse tbh, my aunt, Bell Telecom or me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, coprolite said: The wife has had a smartphone for a few years but keeps her sim in £20 handset because she prefers having buttons she can push. She uses her smartphone as a wee tablet in the house. She dropped her handset in the toilet the other day so had to put her sim in the smartphone. I pointed out that this meant she'd be able to get internet on it outside the house. She disagreed, because the wi fi is in the house. I explained that the contract i got her a phone on has mobile Internet so she can get the Internet anywhere. "so i can use anyone's wifi now?" She has bought another £20 handset. I think it's for the best. I have tried to explain this until I'm blue in the face. For your own sanity give up. Edited May 25, 2020 by Sergeant Wilson 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 Is this the place for the cute things kids say? This good weather has got all the kids in lockdown out playing in the gardens. I've just been treated to my neighbour's kids (aged about 6 or 7) having this lovely conversation - "Gie me it" "nut" "It's ma turn, gie me it" "nut" "Muuuummmm. Michael isnae sharing it" (mother) Michael - gie him it if it shuts the wee c**t up" "nut" "mum say tae gie me it ye fucking piece o shite" Ahh, the joyful play of children 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 On 22/05/2020 at 11:25, Dee Man said: This just blew my sister in-law's mind on our WhatsApp group chat... Your sister-in-law's not alone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 11 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Your sister-in-law's not alone. Fucking hell. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Anyones female ever come away with deep emotional bollocks despite being fully aware that's its absolutely not your thing at all? The other night whilst trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" f**k the f**k off. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 1 minute ago, Bairnardo said: Anyones female ever come away with deep emotional bollocks despite being fully aware that's its absolutely not your thing at all? The other night whisky trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" f**k the f**k off. Nah, that one was an open goal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Anyones female ever come away with deep emotional bollocks despite being fully aware that's its absolutely not your thing at all? The other night whilst trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" f**k the f**k off. "You know the first two and the third I'm only allowed access to on my birthday". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 "You know the first two and the third I'm only allowed access to on my birthday". Pap 1, pap 2 and the 9 Darter? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 On 27/05/2020 at 14:02, Dee Man said: Fucking hell. Successful business man Alan Sugar 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Anyones female ever come away with deep emotional bollocks despite being fully aware that's its absolutely not your thing at all? The other night whilst trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" f**k the f**k off. Mine thinks we should cuddle up and watch a film sometime because we never spend much time together. I've been in lockdown for 2 months with the ****, I've not seen anyone else in the flesh bar her. Gimme ****ing peace woman. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Just now, Connor1874 said: Mine thinks we should cuddle up and watch a film sometime because we never spend much time together. I've been in lockdown for 2 months with the ****, I've not seen anyone else in the flesh bar her. Gimme ****ing peace woman. I dont mind that sort of sentiment, albeit whenever agreement is reached to have one of here "date nights" it invariably ends with me watching the film and her p***king about on her phone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 Just now, Bairnardo said: I dont mind that sort of sentiment, albeit whenever agreement is reached to have one of here "date nights" it invariably ends with me watching the film and her p***king about on her phone She's a TV addict and has got me to watch that much shite with her that I struggle to stay awake during a film unless playing FM on my laptop at the same time. That then prompts her to tell me to pick a film, and when I do, she either sits on her phone and doesn't pay attention and asks me questions throughout the film, or in some cases, just ****s off to bed cos I should know that she doesn't like this film. I picked Inglorious Basterds a while back (hadn't seen it surprisingly) and she lasted 5 minutes, before turning round to go to sleep, muttering something about 'foreign pish'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Anyones female ever come away with deep emotional bollocks despite being fully aware that's its absolutely not your thing at all? The other night whilst trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" f**k the f**k off. "Tits, arse and legs". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Bairnardo said: The other night whilst trying to enjoy mojitos and an open fire, I got "what do you think my three best qualities are?" Your furry little beard, your legs and your eyes m8 x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 29, 2020 Share Posted May 29, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Your furry little beard, your legs and your eyes m8 x Genuinely, you are on the money there, although I persoonally would replace eyes with thunderous right hand Edited May 29, 2020 by Bairnardo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Me: “Jashans (our local curry place) got robbed last night”. Mrs Par (genuine question) “Did they steal all the curry?”. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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