dave258 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 "You care more about Stirling Albion than you do about me". Well, to be fair... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Well, to be fair... My point entirely. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Lassie just posted on facebook: "Apparently Sherlock Holmes isn't real! Who knew?" everyone ya dafty. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUNTS Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 After winding up a guy at work about his car saying that FORD stands for: Fixed Or Repaired Daily, one of the dames in the office pipes up with "really?, I worked there for about 5 years and never knew that" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Watching TV in halls at uni: Girl: Who's that? Me: Michael McIntyre Girl: What does he do? Me: (Wondering how it isn't obvious that the man on TV telling jokes is a comedian) He's a comedian. Girl: What does he comedian for? Me: What do you mean? Girl: What does he comedian for? Me: I don't know what that means? Do you mean why is he a comedian? Girl: No, what does he comedian about? Me: I'm going to the shops. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 At our wedding, whilst still at the top table, my Mother asked me to "mind her handbag" as she was going to the toilet. Apart form me, the only other person at the table was the minister's wife ! -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 At our wedding, whilst still at the top table, my Mother asked me to "mind her handbag" as she was going to the toilet. Apart form me, the only other person at the table was the minister's wife ! Why was the minister's wife at the top table? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South Lanarkshire Jag Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 At our wedding, whilst still at the top table, my Mother asked me to "mind her handbag" as she was going to the toilet. Apart form me, the only other person at the table was the minister's wife ! Is that not a common womeny thing saying that in case someone comes up and nicks it from another table 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Why was the minister's wife at the top table? It was our perogative, as The Minister was a freind of my Father in law. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Is that not a common womeny thing saying that in case someone comes up and nicks it from another table The humour seems to have evaporated somewhere along the line. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 At our wedding, whilst still at the top table, my Mother asked me to "mind her handbag" as she was going to the toilet. Apart form me, the only other person at the table was the minister's wife ! At my wedding my aunt stole a gift card from me. Whilst she's always been a bit scummy, I never thought she would stoop as low to actually steal from family. So, you never know your company. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 At my wedding my aunt stole a gift card from me. Whilst she's always been a bit scummy, I never thought she would stoop as low to actually steal from family. So, you never know your company. Your auntie's more likely to rob a minister than marry one though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quentin Taranbino Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Whilst watching some wrestling on tv last night: Her: "Ow that looked like it hurt" Me: "they are trained to be able to take the moves - you know it aint real right?" Her: "yeah I know that stupid - its all CGI now" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 "See the cruise control on your car, does it steer for you?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwmski Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 My manager at work just told me that she want to buy a Ben Sherman Grill. Do you think she means George Foreman? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbo_dee Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I just got told that one of Germany's allies during WW2 was Belfast, and Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of Britain at the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I was being subjected to one of the harry potter films the other day when my Mrs came out with "are dragons real or non-fictional?" That's a two for one there folks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shuggie_Murray7 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Today we went to my brothers girlfriends place with out 3 month old dughter. My bros girlfriend said to her: "Fancy a coffee?" "Yes, 2 sugars please." "Is that black or white?" "Black sugar? " I was once talking to my future mother-in-law and I forget what she was talking about, as I tend to do rehularly, but she mentioned the 4th of July (they're American). I said: "We don't have that in Scotland" "So what do you celebrate on the 4th of July?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forehead7 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Was at my mate's flat which is 2/1 and we were sitting chatting, think it might've been about making noise and not jumping about cause there might be people below to which my mate says something about that there wasn't anyone below them/us. I was then told that in addition to there being no one below us that the whole ground floor was just solid concrete, not hollow, but entirely solid. This person just went into second year of Civil Engineering, oh dear. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Today we went to my brothers girlfriends place with out 3 month old dughter. My bros girlfriend said to her: "Fancy a coffee?" "Yes, 2 sugars please." "Is that black or white?" "Black sugar? " I'm maybe missing something but what's wrong with that exchange? She's asking if you want milk, not what colour of sugar it is. It's not an unreasonable question when offering someone coffee. Maybe it's just the timing and you had to actually hear it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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