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kiwififer

Out of the mouth of babes...

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21 hours ago, deej said:

Mine is similar. Starts packing days before we go and moans at me saying i'm so unorganised etc. 

Its packing clothes ffs.  Boxers, socks, tshirts/shirts, trousers/shorts. Shoes depending on what you'll be doing, done. 

 

Toiletries, medication, coat(s), book, sex toys, passport...

You were never a scout, were you?

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47 minutes ago, The DA said:

Toiletries, medication, coat(s), book, sex toys, passport...

You were never a scout, were you?

I thought the Scoutmaster would bring the sex toys.

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1 hour ago, The DA said:

Toiletries, medication, coat(s), book, sex toys, passport...

You were never a scout, were you?

Toiletries don't change though. Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, aftershave, shampoo, shower gel. Grab a jacket on the way out.

Spoiler

And I've got all the sex toys I need already

 

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4 minutes ago, deej said:

Toiletries don't change though. Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, aftershave, shampoo, shower gel. Grab a jacket on the way out.

  Hide contents

And I've got all the sex toys I need already

 

You've got one of THOSE raincoats then!

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Got a phone call at work saying there was a spider nest under the bed. Asked how many spiders there were...

‘4, 2 big ones and 2 wee ones’

Some nest imho.

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12 minutes ago, Swarley said:

This could easily go in the PTTGOYN, car advice or infuriating things your partner does threads but anyway

Came home tonight and noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen worktop. It's a sheet from a taxi driver's receipt book, with "Call me", a mobile number and cab number scrawled on it.

I asked her what it was and she said it was on the car when she returned to it after our youngest's swimming lesson (car parked on street). "I was going to just bin it, I thought someone wanted to hire me as a taxi driver" says She.

I went outside to check the car and the front end has been damaged. The taxi has obviously reversed into her and the tow bar has smashed our car. He'd obviously left his details on our car.

She thought someone wanted to give her a job as a taxi driver! A JOB AS A TAXI DRIVER!! This women is degree educated and is normally pretty smart.

And she never noticed? I could see through it if the back end had been damaged Image result for kenneth williamsand she never noticed, but the front?

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2 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

And she never noticed? I could see through it if the back end had been damaged Image result for kenneth williamsand she never noticed, but the front?

Reading between the lines, I think what she is trying to tell Swarley here is that she went out and got her front doors smashed in by a taxi driver.

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She's going to have to try a more direct approach, or he's not going to catch on...

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To be honest that would be preferable to the car being damaged

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2 minutes ago, Swarley said:

To be honest that would be preferable to the car being damaged

Classic double bluff. She's probably been pumped by a taxi driver, realised she's left the note out for you to find, and ran out and smashed up the car herself as a cover story.

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Classic double bluff. She's probably been pumped by a taxi driver, realised she's left the note out for you to find, and ran out and smashed up the car herself as a cover story.

^^^ voice of experience.

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9 minutes ago, alta-pete said:


^^^ voice of experience.

Ah but was I the taxi driver or the husband?

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Ah but was I the taxi driver or the husband?

Im guessing that would have depended on who was in charge that weekend?

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3 minutes ago, alta-pete said:


Im guessing that would have depended on who was in charge that weekend?

FDD51051-9B09-4D81-9B45-D471DD33A17D.jpeg.b6d573115b9320270c9d6ac37d43c8d8.jpeg

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There were a number if jellyfish washed up on the beach last weekend. 

The wife told the girls (ages in single digits) that the bits hanging underneath were, and I quote:

"testicles,; TENTACLES, TENTACLES I SAID TENTACLES" 

Personally v happy with message to not touch any testicles.Less comfortable with scientific inaccuracy but I can live with it

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14 hours ago, coprolite said:

There were a number if jellyfish washed up on the beach last weekend. 

The wife told the girls (ages in single digits) that the bits hanging underneath were, and I quote:

"testicles,; TENTACLES, TENTACLES I SAID TENTACLES" 

Personally v happy with message to not touch any testicles.Less comfortable with scientific inaccuracy but I can live with it

That's all well and good until they went into primary school on Monday and said "Mummy was showing us testicles on Saturday."

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Could go in either here or the infuriating thread really.

She just showed me her phone and asked if Mabie Farm Park was being sold (it's a kids play bit where we have a season ticket for the wee one). She's at the other side of the room so I ask:-

Me - Have you read the page?

Her - Aye.

Me - Well what does it say?

Her - I'll let you read it.

Me - If you've read it just tell me what it says.

Her - I can't be bothered reading it all again.

Me - If you've read it just tell me the gist, if they are selling it or not?!

*She throws phone at me* Page is a fucking selling page of the actual farm.

What the f**k goes on in their heads?! How she read that and rather than say "They're selling the farm" as opposed to asking me if they're selling it is fucking mindboggling. Totally different breed.

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Could go in either here or the infuriating thread really.

She just showed me her phone and asked if Mabie Farm Park was being sold (it's a kids play bit where we have a season ticket for the wee one). She's at the other side of the room so I ask:-

Me - Have you read the page?

Her - Aye.

Me - Well what does it say?

Her - I'll let you read it.

Me - If you've read it just tell me what it says.

Her - I can't be bothered reading it all again.

Me - If you've read it just tell me the gist, if they are selling it or not?!

*She throws phone at me* Page is a fucking selling page of the actual farm.

What the f**k goes on in their heads?! How she read that and rather than say "They're selling the farm" as opposed to asking me if they're selling it is fucking mindboggling. Totally different breed.
Is it for sale then?

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