Jump to content

Out of the mouth of babes...


kiwififer

Recommended Posts

39 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

MM's cat (understandably) doesn't love him enough to get him a card type post ^^^^^

The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him.

Sauntered in at tea time the day after. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him.

Sauntered in at tea time the day after. 

Probably found someone that feeds it. Disloyal furry gits. Ours used to terrorise a neighbour and their cat. Crapped on their bed one day and also nicked their Sunday roast. Cat probably just took after me tbf. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Adam said:

It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up).  I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung.  Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Adam said:

It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up).  I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung.  Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle.

Mrs Mathematics would kick me out of the house for that. I haven't bought (or made) her a birthday card in the five years we have lived together and I doubt in the preceding nine years either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up).  I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung.  Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle.
What did I just read? Christ my wife is lucky to get a card from the kids (they are currently 4 and 1, so really from me from them) but from the pets??
And then you are saying the grief of not doing so isn't worth the hassle.

She has to be some ride to get you into that mentality, has to be
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Came off the phone to my mate last night.
Wife asks "not seen him for ages, what's he up to?"
Me "away shooting this weekend"
Wife "what's he shooting?  Peasants?"
^^^ friends with Jacob Rees-Mogg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've just returned from the UK for the second time in about a month to discover the wife has attempted some DIY. Despite me telling her to never try anything outside her skillset ever again after she managed to crack off a load of paint off the wall when she attempted to rip off a dado rail the last time I was away, this time she had attempted to put up a curtain rail. Fortunately she didn't have the strength to drill the required depth into the masonry so she couldn't do any more damage than the one out of position hole she had attempted. When I took over the task today I asked her where the 7mm drill bit was - as per the instructions - she said she just used a 6mm one as, "What difference does 1mm make?"

The look of puzzlement on her face was not relative to my simple answer of, "The 7mm wall plug will not fit into a 6mm hole", FFS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him.
Sauntered in at tea time the day after. 

What were you going to put in the shoe box given that the cat had disappeared...?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, pittsburgh phil said:

My other half came out with this the other day.

'Eagles have been dive bombing people in Leith recently'

'Seagulls surely?'

'Nope, definitely sea eagles, they took a chihuahua from Leith Walk''

She's a consultant. Pray you never end up needing her care.

I just had a quick Google for this story (not the sea eagles part obvz) and came across a story of seagulls flying away with a Chihuahua in Devon last month and one of it's paws recently being found in a car park. This is my favourite part of the article:

She said: "Last night I was walking back to my boyfriend's house up through The Triangle car park when I saw some angry seagulls fighting over something and acting suspiciously".

How the f**k does a seagull act suspiciously?:lol:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9779452/puppy-paw-found-missing-gizmo-chihuahua/

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Dee Man said:

I just had a quick Google for this story (not the sea eagles part obvz) and came across a story of seagulls flying away with a Chihuahua in Devon last month and one of it's paws recently being found in a car park. This is my favourite part of the article:

She said: "Last night I was walking back to my boyfriend's house up through The Triangle car park when I saw some angry seagulls fighting over something and acting suspiciously".

How the f**k does a seagull act suspiciously?:lol:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9779452/puppy-paw-found-missing-gizmo-chihuahua/

 

I just watched Chris Ramsey (from Hebburn, a few years ago) in a stand-up show on Amazon. Section on seagulls was on point and fucking hilarious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...