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kiwififer

Out of the mouth of babes...

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9 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Reading between the lines, you need to give her more free time....

Bobby Gillespie is lucky she wasn't close enough to give him a bollocking for not playing it. 

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She gave me one of them last week. Bobby would have liked it....

Bobby Gillespie is lucky she wasn't close enough to give him a bollocking for not playing it. 

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38 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

She gave me one of them last week. Bobby would have liked it....

Did you forget your oral pleasure stepladder?

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Did you forget your oral pleasure stepladder?
Mrs Shandon doesnt think a "bollocking" is the same thing as the rest of us....

Also, I would like to draw you attention to the age old theory of "thur aw the same height lyin doon"

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Last year I was seeing a girl and we went to see 'A Star is Born' at the cinema. Didn't know much about it going in but really enjoyed it and we both said how much we liked the film afterwards.

Days later I got a message off her saying "omg! did not realise brendan cooper killed himself in that film!! :( "

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41 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Mrs Shandon doesnt think a "bollocking" is the same thing as the rest of us....

Also, I would like to draw you attention to the age old theory of "thur aw the same height lyin doon"

We're all God's children in the dark....

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My other half's niece was telling her about some lassie she knew who was pregnant. Apparently the lassie, knowing she was having a boy, was considering naming the bairn Winston. Wife's niece didn't think it was a good name.

Wife says "actually I quite like it".

Niece: "aye but it's not a name usually given to white children. It's quite nice but not for me"

Wife says "Winston Churchill?"

Niece: "Was he white?"

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Winston Ingram was white, bit of a red face right enough but mostly white.

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My wife has an annoying habbit of opening cards as soon as they arrive, rather than waiting for the day of the event they are clearly for.

To give an example our anniversary is this weekend, Sunday to be exact, yet she's opened cards today.

I've tried explaining to her that people will post cards in time so that they arrive before said event, but that normal people recognise this, put them aside, and will then open the card on the actual day.

Christmas cards the only exception to this.

Am I the weirdo here, or am I right?

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2 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

My wife has an annoying habbit of opening cards as soon as they arrive, rather than waiting for the day of the event they are clearly for.

To give an example our anniversary is this weekend, Sunday to be exact, yet she's opened cards today.

I've tried explaining to her that people will post cards in time so that they arrive before said event, but that normal people recognise this, put them aside, and will then open the card on the actual day.

Christmas cards the only exception to this.

Am I the weirdo here, or am I right?

If the card is addressed to me and it's in my house then it's fair game. 

 

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Just now, Rizzo said:

If the card is addressed to me and it's in my house then it's fair game. 

So if your birthday was coming up, and a card arrived a few days prior, you'd open it right away?

Mental behaviour IMO

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7 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

My wife has an annoying habbit of opening cards as soon as they arrive, rather than waiting for the day of the event they are clearly for.

To give an example our anniversary is this weekend, Sunday to be exact, yet she's opened cards today.

I've tried explaining to her that people will post cards in time so that they arrive before said event, but that normal people recognise this, put them aside, and will then open the card on the actual day.

Christmas cards the only exception to this.

Am I the weirdo here, or am I right?

Cards are for women to deal with unless it's likely to contain funds, in which case it should be intercepted and dealt with immediately on arrival. Cards without funds are an irrelevance and can be opened whenever she likes. 

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13 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

My wife has an annoying habbit of opening cards as soon as they arrive, rather than waiting for the day of the event they are clearly for.cTo give an example our anniversary is this weekend, Sunday to be exact, yet she's opened cards today.

The P&B response: She's being kind.  She's trying to intercept the commiseration cards to save your feelings.
The sane response:  She's just happy about the event.

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12 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

So if your birthday was coming up, and a card arrived a few days prior, you'd open it right away?

Mental behaviour IMO

Birthday cards especially as they're more likely to have paper presents inside.8)

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1 hour ago, Todd_is_God said:

So if your birthday was coming up, and a card arrived a few days prior, you'd open it right away?

Mental behaviour IMO

Of course I would you fucking daftie. There might be money in them.

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Cards, for any occasion, are fucking pointless.

“Better send a card”
“How? They ken it’s their birthday”

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8 hours ago, The_Kincardine said:

The P&B response: Boot her in the pie
The sane response:  She's just happy about the event.

FTFY

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10 hours ago, mathematics said:

Cards, for any occasion, are fucking pointless.

This. And expensive. Triumph of commercialism.

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13 hours ago, Todd_is_God said:

So if your birthday was coming up, and a card arrived a few days prior, you'd open it right away?

Mental behaviour IMO

Going to have to side with the others here, get it opened. I highly doubt the person sending you a card with a score inside it will give a f**k if you open it a day or two early.

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