Jacksgranda Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, SlipperyP said: @Jacksgranda is correct, snakes are not slimy, they may look it, but when held, they are more or less smooth but have traction/grip to them them can be very unnerving. I have a photo of me at the billabong with a massive boa, must have been at least 3 metres long all round me. If it went for, I'm sure it would have got the fight of it's life, then won. However, it was well fed and quite docile. Other story I have of big snakes......I was on my moped heading to the local shop about 2km away, when a big dog came out of nowhere to challenge my riding skills, I was in no mood, for a square go, so put the foot down to get away, as you know they run faster....I then hit a massive boa that was strung right over the 2 lane road, fell of the motorbike, to look back expecting the dog to be on me. Little shitebag had noticed the snake as was running the opposite way. Snake hardly moved. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 On 04/07/2021 at 17:01, SlipperyP said: @Jacksgranda is correct, snakes are not slimy, they may look it, but when held, they are more or less smooth but have traction/grip to them them can be very unnerving. I have a photo of me at the billabong with a massive boa, must have been at least 3 metres long all round me. If it went for, I'm sure it would have got the fight of it's life, then won. However, it was well fed and quite docile. Other story I have of big snakes......I was on my moped heading to the local shop about 2km away, when a big dog came out of nowhere to challenge my riding skills, I was in no mood, for a square go, so put the foot down to get away, as you know they run faster....I then hit a massive boa that was strung right over the 2 lane road, fell of the motorbike, to look back expecting the dog to be on me. Little shitebag had noticed the snake as was running the opposite way. Snake hardly moved. I'd be worried about what it was well fed on, Slippery mate! I've never actually touched a snake hence my mistaken belief they are slimy fuckers. I do remember as a P7 pupil Camperdown Zoo brought a couple of animals in for us to look at etc - there was a huge snake (OK, I was only 11 or 12 so maybe a medium sized one) and I was a shitebag and wouldn't let the thing be draped around me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 10 hours ago, hk blues said: I've never actually touched a snake 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 On 04/07/2021 at 08:26, 19QOS19 said: You sure it was shit?... "Picked the wee fella up, gave him a stroke." Are you sure ya should be stroking your wee fella out in public? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 As part of our project we used to run an animal handling group for 16-19yr olds aimed at helping them with confidence/anxiety/social skills. The focus was on the animals and not them and before they realised it they were suddenly in a group making friends and looking forward in life and making plans. The woman used to bring in all manner of animals to our office, our boardroom looked like Ace Ventura's living room at times but it was a great success for helping them start to overcome personal barriers. One week the handler announced she was going to bring in a reptiles and snakes. The following week, without warning, one of the young people turned up at our office with a 4 foot python round her neck as she wanted to show her pet to the animal handler and the rest of her group. She had come on the bus! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 2 minutes ago, Sugar_Army said: As part of our project we used to run an animal handling group for 16-19yr olds aimed at helping them with confidence/anxiety/social skills. The focus was on the animals and not them and before they realised it they were suddenly in a group making friends and looking forward in life and making plans. The woman used to bring in all manner of animals to our office, our boardroom looked like Ace Ventura's living room at times but it was a great success for helping them start to overcome personal barriers. One week the handler announced she was going to bring in a reptiles and snakes. The following week, without warning, one of the young people turned up at our office with a 4 foot python round her neck as she wanted to show her pet to the animal handler and the rest of her group. She had come on the bus! That's one way to get a bus seat to yourself I suppose. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, dave258 said: That's one way to get a bus seat to yourself I suppose. We could not believe she was allowed on the bus. Apparently she knew the driver. We are not talking a wee quiet bus. It was on a major route from a scheme to the city centre at 10am. Staff loved that animal group almost as much as the young people. The office always felt a wee bit brighter on that day . All the animals were rescue pets and she would talk about not just the animal, but what you needed to consider if ever getting one as a pet and how to be a responsible owner. She brought in a bearded dragon missing a tail, a three legged chameleon, even a couple of rabbits that had been in Geordie Shore. Everybody loved the sugar gliders but skinny pigs were not so easy on the eye mind you and there was a panic on one day when she thought she had lost a hamster (insert obligatory Richard Gere joke here). Edited July 5, 2021 by Sugar_Army 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Just walked in on her on the phone ordering a carpet for her dad, when I heard her say to deliver it to our address. She came off the call I asked why tf was it getting delivered here? "because our landlord gets a discount" "And how are we getting it to your dads?" "Just fold it up and put it in the back of the car" Fold it up. A 6 x 5m carpet. Put it in the boot. I can see her getting rolled up in the carpet and dumped in the Carron. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 For a woman who runs her own business and is currently doing an open university degree, she doesn't half come out with some pish. She ordered a couple of dresses online and wants to return one. "They've forgotten to put a delivery note in the package, I'll have to Google a number for their head office to phone and ask what to do". Phone head fucking office !! Suggested that she might want to try their website first for info on returns. "Where will it tell me that"? Took her phone off her, and within 60 seconds, through their new and innovative idea of having a 'help' section, found that there was no delivery note as they've gone paperless, you just open the returns portal, scan the qr code on delivery label or enter customer ref no to complete returned items info, and get shop/post office to print off the return label for you. Like you do with, you know, 99% of returns. Phone. Head. Fucking. Office. Now I'm getting the "Aye right, smart arse" attitude !! Unreal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 On 09/07/2021 at 18:55, the aggressive beggar said: Just walked in on her on the phone ordering a carpet for her dad, when I heard her say to deliver it to our address. She came off the call I asked why tf was it getting delivered here? "because our landlord gets a discount" "And how are we getting it to your dads?" "Just fold it up and put it in the back of the car" Fold it up. A 6 x 5m carpet. Put it in the boot. I can see her getting rolled up in the carpet and dumped in the Carron. Just seen you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 On 09/07/2021 at 22:09, 'WellDel said: For a woman who runs her own business and is currently doing an open university degree, she doesn't half come out with some pish. She ordered a couple of dresses online and wants to return one. "They've forgotten to put a delivery note in the package, I'll have to Google a number for their head office to phone and ask what to do". Phone head fucking office !! Suggested that she might want to try their website first for info on returns. "Where will it tell me that"? Took her phone off her, and within 60 seconds, through their new and innovative idea of having a 'help' section, found that there was no delivery note as they've gone paperless, you just open the returns portal, scan the qr code on delivery label or enter customer ref no to complete returned items info, and get shop/post office to print off the return label for you. Like you do with, you know, 99% of returns. Phone. Head. Fucking. Office. Now I'm getting the "Aye right, smart arse" attitude !! Unreal. The amount of stuff exactly like the example you’ve given that sends my mrs into a frenzied panic, that could easily be resolved in 30 seconds through a quick google search, is baffling an infuriating. I’ve started just rudely and loudly saying “GOOGLE” when she goes into one of these panics, but the message is still not getting across. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 50 minutes ago, SlipperyP said: Just seen you. Can you see her feet sticking out? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 Not yet... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 (edited) I win this thread. I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened. She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?" On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake Edited July 11, 2021 by the aggressive beggar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arabdownunder Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 1 hour ago, the aggressive beggar said: I win this thread. I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened. She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?" On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake tbf the latter two might have done a better job 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 1 hour ago, the aggressive beggar said: I win this thread. I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened. She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?" On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake This aside, did she have f**k all to say about the wee car? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 7 hours ago, the aggressive beggar said: I win this thread. I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened. She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?" On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake Reasonable question, imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 8 hours ago, the aggressive beggar said: I win this thread. I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened. She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?" On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake Mine was adamant that if the fans didn't stop booing the Italian national anthem that Gareth Southgate should go out and tell them all to behave or he'd send the players home. Putting her forward to be UEFA president at the next available opportunity tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 7 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: This aside, did she have f**k all to say about the wee car? No, just a wee amused smile on her face. God only knows what was going on her mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 On 06/07/2021 at 00:13, Sugar_Army said: She brought in a bearded dragon missing a tail, a three legged chameleon, even a couple of rabbits that had been in Geordie Shore. I love that "being on Geordie Shore" is an equal affliction to having no tail or a missing leg. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.