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Out of the mouth of babes...


kiwififer

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It only works on idiots who have already celebrated the current year's birthday. And idiots who just can't count, obviously.
That one has the caveat of the age you are going to be this year. Obviously learned from it being pointed out before.
Can't wait for the fresh wave of it on Facebook.
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Flicking through Netflix last night and saw Trailer Park Boys have made a 2nd lot of animated episodes. She has seen me watching TPB but doesn't watch it herself.

Her: Why is that a cartoon?

Me: Probably because Lahey (a character) died in real life.

Her: What ones that?

Me: The auld guy.

Her: The one that doesn't wear a shirt?

Me: No, the old guy.

Her: What one's that?

Me: It's the auld guy!

Her: Well I don't know, I don't watch it!

Me: Well why are you asking? You obviously won't know who it is if you don't know him by that description.

Her: Aw just f**k off!

Me: * Look of confusion on face *

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A few years ago we were out as a family for dinner

 

My sister was reading the menu then proceeded to ask me what I was ordering

 

My response ‘i think I’m going to order the veal’

 

Her response ‘i don’t really like fish’

 

This is also the same girl who asked if dolphin friendly tuna was made up of dolphins [emoji15]

 

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“Andorra’s Italian isn’t it?”
”no, it’s Andorra”
”French then?”
”No, It’s Andorran, as in it’s a country”
”Nah, it’s Italian isn’t it”
Where’s the revolver...
 
Shes thinking of san morono
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19 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:
22 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:
“Andorra’s Italian isn’t it?”
”no, it’s Andorra”
”French then?”
”No, It’s Andorran, as in it’s a country”
”Nah, it’s Italian isn’t it”
Where’s the revolver...
 

Shes thinking of san morono

She’s certainly acting like one.

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20 hours ago, BigBo10 said:

I’m easily confused and clearly missed this point entirely. I’ll think before posting in future. Your continued abject abuse is entirely deserved and I offer no further defence of being a complete fuckwit!

I worked it out and thought - that's remarkable. Then the penny dropped!

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We live out in farm country.
Tractor had been sat next to driveway for most of the day
She say to me what they doing ?
Looks like it's broke down

Later a flat bed turns up.
5 mins later, what they doing?
Looks to be trying to get the tractor picked up.

They are taking too long, why they taking too long, it's blocking the drive.

Yup, middle of lockdown, no visitors bar the postie in 10 weeks, but more than 5 mins to move a tractor that's broken down into a flatbed and move it appears to be cause of a new round of 20 questions to someone with the same information as herself.
Please tell me they get better with age. Please.

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11 hours ago, weirdcal said:

We live out in farm country.
Tractor had been sat next to driveway for most of the day
She say to me what they doing ?
Looks like it's broke down

Later a flat bed turns up.
5 mins later, what they doing?
Looks to be trying to get the tractor picked up.

They are taking too long, why they taking too long, it's blocking the drive.

Yup, middle of lockdown, no visitors bar the postie in 10 weeks, but more than 5 mins to move a tractor that's broken down into a flatbed and move it appears to be cause of a new round of 20 questions to someone with the same information as herself.
Please tell me they get better with age. Please.

Not a chance.

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11 hours ago, Mr. Alli said:

As she gets older she won't ask you what's happening. She will tell you what's happening.

Whether that is what is actually happening, is inconsequential. 

You're confusing women with newspapers and the BBC.

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Many moons ago, when Scotland were qualifying for World Cups:-

Me (to my pal): Fancy trying to get tickets for the France game next month?

Pal: Aye, but they’ll be like hens teeth

Her: Who’s Ken?

Me: What?

Her: You said they’ll be like Ken’s teeth. Who’s Ken?

Me: No, not Ken’s teeth. HENS teeth

5 second silence

Her: I didn’t know hens had teeth?

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