Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 39 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: MM's cat (understandably) doesn't love him enough to get him a card type post ^^^^^ The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him. Sauntered in at tea time the day after. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him. Sauntered in at tea time the day after. Probably found someone that feeds it. Disloyal furry gits. Ours used to terrorise a neighbour and their cat. Crapped on their bed one day and also nicked their Sunday roast. Cat probably just took after me tbf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 3 hours ago, deej said: Card Factory, 29p a card, sorted He probably got 29p cards and told the dog it was the dear ones he bought. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 5 hours ago, Adam said: It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up). I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung. Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 6 hours ago, Adam said: It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up). I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung. Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle. Mrs Mathematics would kick me out of the house for that. I haven't bought (or made) her a birthday card in the five years we have lived together and I doubt in the preceding nine years either. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday, so jumped into the shop at lunch to get a couple of cards (one from me, one from the cat and the dog, shut up). I was £7.50 for two cards, absolutely stung. Know I would have got grief had I not got them though, not worth the hassle.What did I just read? Christ my wife is lucky to get a card from the kids (they are currently 4 and 1, so really from me from them) but from the pets?? And then you are saying the grief of not doing so isn't worth the hassle.She has to be some ride to get you into that mentality, has to be 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the aggressive beggar Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 (edited) Came off the phone to my mate last night. Wife asks "not seen him for ages, what's he up to?" Me "away shooting this weekend" Wife "what's he shooting? Peasants?" Edited August 17, 2019 by the aggressive beggar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Came off the phone to my mate last night. Wife asks "not seen him for ages, what's he up to?" Me "away shooting this weekend" Wife "what's he shooting? Peasants?"^^^ friends with Jacob Rees-Mogg 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 I've just returned from the UK for the second time in about a month to discover the wife has attempted some DIY. Despite me telling her to never try anything outside her skillset ever again after she managed to crack off a load of paint off the wall when she attempted to rip off a dado rail the last time I was away, this time she had attempted to put up a curtain rail. Fortunately she didn't have the strength to drill the required depth into the masonry so she couldn't do any more damage than the one out of position hole she had attempted. When I took over the task today I asked her where the 7mm drill bit was - as per the instructions - she said she just used a 6mm one as, "What difference does 1mm make?" The look of puzzlement on her face was not relative to my simple answer of, "The 7mm wall plug will not fit into a 6mm hole", FFS. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 38 minutes ago, Dee Man said: she said she just used a 6mm one as, "What difference does 1mm make?" She's just repeating what you tell her in the bedroom 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 11 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: She's just repeating what you tell her in the bedroom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 The little shit disappeared the other day for >24hrs (very unusual) and I was nearly digging the hole and preparing the shoe box for him. Sauntered in at tea time the day after. What were you going to put in the shoe box given that the cat had disappeared...? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 2 minutes ago, NJ2 said: What were you going to put in the shoe box given that the cat had disappeared...? The wife. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 10 minutes ago, NJ2 said: What were you going to put in the shoe box given that the cat had disappeared...? Herr Schrodinger. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 The wife.Well now she’s no got the cat to feed probably no use putting up with her 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 13 minutes ago, NJ2 said: Well now she’s no got the cat to feed probably no use putting up with her Save me a fortune in cooker gas as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted August 20, 2019 Share Posted August 20, 2019 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: Herr Schrodinger. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pittsburgh phil Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 My other half came out with this the other day.'Eagles have been dive bombing people in Leith recently''Seagulls surely?''Nope, definitely sea eagles, they took a chihuahua from Leith Walk''She's a consultant. Pray you never end up needing her care. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 21 minutes ago, pittsburgh phil said: My other half came out with this the other day. 'Eagles have been dive bombing people in Leith recently' 'Seagulls surely?' 'Nope, definitely sea eagles, they took a chihuahua from Leith Walk'' She's a consultant. Pray you never end up needing her care. I just had a quick Google for this story (not the sea eagles part obvz) and came across a story of seagulls flying away with a Chihuahua in Devon last month and one of it's paws recently being found in a car park. This is my favourite part of the article: She said: "Last night I was walking back to my boyfriend's house up through The Triangle car park when I saw some angry seagulls fighting over something and acting suspiciously". How the f**k does a seagull act suspiciously? https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9779452/puppy-paw-found-missing-gizmo-chihuahua/ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 7 hours ago, Dee Man said: I just had a quick Google for this story (not the sea eagles part obvz) and came across a story of seagulls flying away with a Chihuahua in Devon last month and one of it's paws recently being found in a car park. This is my favourite part of the article: She said: "Last night I was walking back to my boyfriend's house up through The Triangle car park when I saw some angry seagulls fighting over something and acting suspiciously". How the f**k does a seagull act suspiciously? https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9779452/puppy-paw-found-missing-gizmo-chihuahua/ I just watched Chris Ramsey (from Hebburn, a few years ago) in a stand-up show on Amazon. Section on seagulls was on point and fucking hilarious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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