Dee Man Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 7 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs could be a sports commentator. She saw Deontay Wilder’s latest victim getting smeared over the canvas and said “it must get really boring for him knocking people out so quickly” I'm not a massive boxing fan or particularly knowledgeable about it but when I first saw that embarrassing KO the first thing I thought of was Marsellus Wallace having a word in Breazeale's ear before the fight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 Mrs could be a sports commentator. She saw Deontay Wilder’s latest victim getting smeared over the canvas and said “it must get really boring for him knocking people out so quickly” I know wheres shes coming from tbh. You wouldnt understand..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 47 minutes ago, MixuFixit said: Her (reading an article): This is interesting it's saying this thing called koh is good for cleaning. Me: how do you spell it? Her: KOH Me: That's potassium hydroxide. It's lye. Her: It's not a lie it says so here! HE'S NOT FINISHED, HE'S ONLY 28!! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 "Did cavemen drink coffee?". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 "Did cavemen drink coffee?".I’m not certain I believe everything you write about what your wife says, but if true, she is as thick as f**k. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 8 minutes ago, Brother Blades said: I’m not certain I believe everything you write about what your wife says, but if true, she is as thick as f**k. I suppose I should be proud that she thinks I will know, without resorting to googling on my phone, who designed Boney M's outfits or what cavemen drank for breakfast, or what the difference is between the sun or the moon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 I suppose I should be proud that she thinks I will know, without resorting to googling on my phone, who designed Boney M's outfits or what cavemen drank for breakfast, or what the difference is between the sun or the moon. Fair do’s, she must be some ride, I couldn’t put up with that shite tbf. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 Just now, Brother Blades said: Fair do’s, she must be some ride, I couldn’t put up with that shite tbf. Nae takin though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 4 minutes ago, Brother Blades said: Fair do’s, she must be some ride, I couldn’t put up with that shite tbf. She makes good cakes too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 23 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: "Did cavemen drink coffee?". If they lived in Ethiopia and had invented fire, they might well have. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MONKMAN Posted May 28, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 28, 2019 At the horse racing the other night, after the 2nd race she turns and gives it;“How come they don’t need the rabbit for them to chase round the track here” 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 1 hour ago, MONKMAN said: At the horse racing the other night, after the 2nd race she turns and gives it; “How come they don’t need the rabbit for them to chase round the track here” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marly Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 At the horse racing the other night, after the 2nd race she turns and gives it;“How come they don’t need the rabbit for them to chase round the track here”Fucking howling at this tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 My partner was driving us to Glasgow last night and we were stuck in traffic coming off the M74 going to Hamden. It was very stop-start and he comes out with. "I wish cars had some sort of cruise control that kept them hovering in the same place." Wasn't amused when I pointed out that the car was indeed equipped with a handbrake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Managed to convince a colleague that the big star on the Australian flag is for Dame Edna Everage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 She opens the egg carton and there's one egg left: - "Who leaves just one egg?" - "What?" - "Who leaves just one single egg in the carton?" - "What if there's four eggs left and you only want three?" - "Just have all four or just two". - "" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Tell her to lay another one out of her arse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyBaws Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 This isn’t an out the mouth more of an action...The mrs brought through the multipack of crisps. I came down the next morning and saw the multipack still on the floor, I picked it up and put it on top of the cupboard where it lives. So roll on another few hours and I’m like I could go a bag of crisps...That’s where the horror began...Put my hand into the multipack still sitting on top of the cupboard, felt something squish...pulled my hand out and to my shock it had shit on it...She had put the empty individual packets in the bin, put the babies dirty nappy in the bag and not put that in the bin...so when I’ve picked it up without looking I’ve assumed oh cool there’s clearly a few bags left given the weight...Naw...fingered a shitty nappy instead...Her reaction? Pissing herself laugh... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 ^^^Pranks to play on idiots thread for this pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Only people with serious mental health issues would put a dirty nappy inside an empty multipack of crisps and leave it lying on the floor. Or people in a made-up story. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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