Sergeant Wilson Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 26 minutes ago, NJ2 said: Weird, been over those big bridges to Edinburgh many a time, never realised it was island! Those are over the moat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 An absolute mare for the doc here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 8 hours ago, NJ2 said: Weird, been over those big bridges to Edinburgh many a time, never realised it was island! The bridges stop at the Ferry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted February 5, 2019 Share Posted February 5, 2019 (edited) A girl at work is going to a restaurant called Osaka to eat sushi because "it's Chinese New Year". Edited February 5, 2019 by Bully Wee Villa 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 My wife and I have been decorating. I come in and she's painting both walls with white emulsion and door frames with white gloss. I do the good husband deed and roll up the sleeves to help, pick up a brush and the conversation goes as follows: Me: what was this brush used for?Her: paintMe: yeah obviously what paint?Her: white paint Me: emulsion or glossHer: *confused look* just paint.Me: 🤦♂️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 4 minutes ago, pleslie99 said: My wife and I have been decorating. I come in and she's painting both walls with white emulsion and door frames with white gloss. I do the good husband deed and roll up the sleeves to help, pick up a brush and the conversation goes as follows: Me: what was this brush used for? Her: paint Me: yeah obviously what paint? Her: white paint Me: emulsion or gloss Her: *confused look* just paint. Me: She's punching . 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Not my own 'babe' but a lassie I work with just came back from 2 weeks in Manila and environs. One of her gripes was that they have fish for breakfast (dried, in this case). Me: Lots of British breakfast fish dishes Her: Name one. Me: Kedgeree, kippers, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs Her: Smoked salmon doesn't count Me: Why not? Her: It doesn't have eyes 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 My wife had the kids making pancakes on Monday night, convinced Tuesday was Pancake Day. Took her a while to remember the date of Easter changes each year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Mrs S Par “Do bats eat herons?”. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 17 hours ago, The_Kincardine said: Not my own 'babe' but a lassie I work with just came back from 2 weeks in Manila and environs. One of her gripes was that they have fish for breakfast (dried, in this case). Me: Lots of British breakfast fish dishes Her: Name one. Me: Kedgeree, kippers, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs Her: Smoked salmon doesn't count Me: Why not? Her: It doesn't have eyes Fucking hell, I'm sitting on my todd here in the middle of a food court having a quiet coffee and just burst out laughing at this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 18 minutes ago, Dee Man said: I'm sitting on my todd here in the middle of a food court Living the high life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Living the high life. The calm before the storm. Getting myself kitted out before a few of us venture into the city tonight and see if I can avoid getting sparked the f**k out, thank you very much. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 [emoji38] Fucking hell, I'm sitting on my todd here in the middle of a food court having a quiet coffee and just burst out laughing at this. "Food" court eh. Aye nae bother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 3 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: "Food" court eh. Aye nae bother. Well aye, because The Supreme Court of Justice for Ex-pat Dees is closed on a Saturday. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Well aye, because The Supreme Court of Justice for Ex-pat Dees is closed on a Saturday. Wouldnt need to worry about that if you could take a punch m9 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Just now, Bairnardo said: 1 minute ago, Dee Man said: Well aye, because The Supreme Court of Justice for Ex-pat Dees is closed on a Saturday. Wouldnt need to worry about that if you could take a punch m9 The boy must've been wearing a boxing glove with horseshoes in it. I'm sure it'll come out at the trial. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 37 minutes ago, Dee Man said: The calm before the storm. Getting myself kitted out before a few of us venture into the city tonight and see if I can avoid getting sparked the f**k out, thank you very much. Good luck and Godspeed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 My missus just decided to do the life stages of a frog with our daughter. "Let's do it together," she says as the kid has been doing it at nursery. My missus starts, " egg, toad, ehhh, ehh.... what comes next?" Utter bemusement from me and the kid. "Egg" was because, "everything begins with an egg." "Toad" was just a wee mistake for tadpole. Jeezo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB1994 Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Took the wife to Dundee for the weekend. Sitting having lunch on Saturday and she asks “is Dundee in England?”She is born and raised in Inverness just to reinforce the stupidity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 6 minutes ago, PB1994 said: Took the wife to Dundee for the weekend. Sitting having lunch on Saturday and she asks “is Dundee in England?” She is born and raised in Inverness just to reinforce the stupidity. Born and raised in Inverness, married to you, and you took her to Dundee as a "treat". Has she not suffered enough? 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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