ayrshire_nomad Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 Eating dinner, I'm not a massive fan of asparagus so I gave her some of mine, she says..."Are you trying to get me horny? I've heard asparagus is an antioxidant!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 On 16/11/2018 at 23:53, Herman Hessian said: not sure if there's an upper age limit to the "babes" from which utterances are permitted in this thread, but was chatting to hessian junior s'afty, who's just turned 17, and who has his girlfriend coming over on sunday "ahhh good`' says me "very prim and proper - church then sunday lunch, eh ?" - "don't knock religious girls, father" says the boy "they know all about getting on their knees and keeping their eyes shut..." Is Hessian Jnr a girl? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priti priti priti Patel Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 (edited) On 11/13/2018 at 18:37, welshbairn said: I'm guilty of this. Just thought the closer it is the quicker you can leave the place. This is my thought process too which is why I put my contactless card actually inside the slot left over from the old non-contactless cards. You can't get closer than being inside. Spoiler (^ "Tell the court the basis of Hessian's relationship with his son" type post) Edited November 19, 2018 by Margaret Thatcher I fucked the punchline 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blootoon87 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I was at a pub quiz on Friday night. The sport round started with "which sport would you be playing if you were throwing stones at houses?"There were a team of younger quines next to us, 18ish, one of them asked her pal "is it pegging?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 5 minutes ago, Blootoon87 said: I was at a pub quiz on Friday night. The sport round started with "which sport would you be playing if you were throwing stones at houses?" There were a team of younger quines next to us, 18ish, one of them asked her pal "is it pegging?" I'm so old I had to google pegging. Wikipedia is quite graphic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 I'm so old I had to google pegging. Wikipedia is quite graphic. Me too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 25 minutes ago, BigBo10 said: Me too. What? Graphic? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 3 hours ago, welshbairn said: I'm so old I had to google pegging. Wikipedia is quite graphic. My Wikipedia is mostly words. Is there a setting I can change? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 You can edit an article so that it includes lots of pictures of penises. So I've heard. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 (edited) On 13/11/2018 at 09:17, DA Baracus said: I see loads of folk actually ensure that contact is made when using contactless. Quite a few place the full card over the machine face. Most of the ones I have seen say "tap card here" on them. Edited December 10, 2018 by HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 13 hours ago, welshbairn said: I'm so old I had to google pegging. Wikipedia is quite graphic. ^^^ fooling naebdy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 18 hours ago, Blootoon87 said: I was at a pub quiz on Friday night. The sport round started with "which sport would you be playing if you were throwing stones at houses?" There were a team of younger quines next to us, 18ish, one of them asked her pal "is it pegging?" 18 hours ago, welshbairn said: I'm so old I had to google pegging. Wikipedia is quite graphic. I also had to wikipedia it. In unrelated news, I've now let my wife know what I'd like for Christmas. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 4 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: I also had to wikipedia it. In unrelated news, I've now let my wife know what I'd like for Christmas. A hemorrhoidectomy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 What? Graphic?Wikipedia. Turns out it’s a website. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Flying out from Edinburgh Airport this morning. I always get a bit of a dodgy tummy when we fly with the family as I get a bit stressed about the whole thing. Standing looking at the board to find out what desk we need to drop our bags at and I let go a silent one. I can tell it's going to be bad as it feels hotter than a thousand suns on the way out. I'm not going to lie, the stench was horrific. My wife then loudly proclaims that "the drains are absolutely stinking in here". 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Hope you soon after checked yourself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Question in a Christmas cracker... Q: What do lemurs, mice and sharks have in common? A (missus): “They all begin with the letter M”. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 What's the actual answer? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 30 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said: What's the actual answer? They all enjoy the works of Dostoyevsky. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 They've all been molested by David Attenborough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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