Unpopular opinions.

[tamthebam]

6 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said:

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but a woman/man not having the same surname as there children is chavvy and definitely not right.

Not so much a problem in Fife but for the rest of us.

It was a Scottish tradition to have on a gravestone "Here lies Mary Smith, wife of John McDonald" using the maiden name rather than call the deceased Mary McDonald.

I don't know why they did this but something to look out for next time you pass through an old churchyard.

[Hedgecutter]

12 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

It was a Scottish tradition to have on a gravestone "Here lies Mary Smith, wife of John McDonald" using the maiden name rather than call the deceased Mary McDonald.

I don't know why they did this but something to look out for next time you pass through an old churchyard.

Similar thing with death notices in the paper, which always seem to insist on saying e.g. "James McDonald... devoted husband of Mary McDonald (nee Smith)". 

Eta: a gravestone I was at the other day had "erected by Elspeth Green in memory of her husband Gordon MacDonald", this referring to a woman who was known as Elspeth MacDonald for most of her life and up to her death. 

Edited August 18, 2020 by Hedgecutter

[D.A.F.C]

There's good reasons why marriage was more important in 1620 than 2020. For most of the the last centuries, life was much tougher than it is today. Without birth control people had larger families, so women spent a large amount of time being pregnant and without modern technology, looking after children, the house etc, was a far more time consuming job. Men generally did demanding physical jobs to support families. The traditional model made a lot of sense when the world was a very different place.
A lot of the drivers that necessitated that kind of model simply don't exist any more.
How the hell is getting married "selfless"?

Commiting your life to someone else and children is pretty selfless and can change people for the better. Not saying that non married couples are any more self centred or selfish. Who knows what or why people don't commit when they've got kids. Personally I don't see why you wouldn't as you're pretty committed already.
I'm really not religious and also see that quite alot of marriages fail, its quite sad really like nobody can work out differences.
Feel like this is getting off the original point and people in life situations that I'm describing will just lash out and defend their situation because it suits them.

[Gordon EF]

22 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Commiting your life to someone else and children is pretty selfless and can change people for the better. Not saying that non married couples are any more self centred or selfish. Who knows what or why people don't commit when they've got kids. Personally I don't see why you wouldn't as you're pretty committed already.
I'm really not religious and also see that quite alot of marriages fail, its quite sad really like nobody can work out differences.
Feel like this is getting off the original point and people in life situations that I'm describing will just lash out and defend their situation because it suits them.

You don't understand why people don't want to make a lifelong commitment and in the next sentence state that lots of marriages fail... and you don't see any inconsistency there?

[D.A.F.C]

I’m a single parent. With three decent kids who are all performing well in school. None of them have been in trouble and have good social circles.
I can trust them to be polite and behave at friends houses, interact with adults and eat in restaurants of a higher standard than McDonald’s.
The life they have now is far more settled and stable to what was going on.

But you bang on with your casual stereotyping.
 

Good for you, thats great.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-47057787

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/harvard-study-single-parents-a-hindrance-to-social-mobility

https://www.hellomotherhood.com/the-effects-of-a-single-parent-home-on-a-childs-behavior-4232505.html

https://www.privatewriting.com/blog/single-parent-children-behavior

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8064435/Children-in-single-parent-families-worse-behaved.html

Not just me saying that it can cause problems, im also not blaming or shaming anyone and also will repeat that poverty is as much to blame. Perhaps people shouldn't read an unpopular opinions thread if they get offended by unpopular opinions. This isnt the news at ten im just some bampot football fan ffs.

[D.A.F.C]

You don't understand why people don't want to make a lifelong commitment and in the next sentence state that lots of marriages fail... and you don't see any inconsistency there?

Going back to my original point that perhaps people arent selfless enough to resolve differences or stay together for the future of the kids.
Who will put their hands up and admit they've made bad choices and really really look hard at themselves? Yes poverty and neoliberalism and other factors dont help but people must be making bad choices when it comes to partners and having kids.
Cant keep blaming the state for individual choices then asking the state to sort it.
That's my opinion and I dont care if people agree with it tbh.

[BFTD]

This is all seeming dreadfully familiar.

[GordonS]

9 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Going back to my original point that perhaps people arent selfless enough to resolve differences or stay together for the future of the kids.
Who will put their hands up and admit they've made bad choices and really really look hard at themselves? Yes poverty and neoliberalism and other factors dont help but people must be making bad choices when it comes to partners and having kids.
Cant keep blaming the state for individual choices then asking the state to sort it.
That's my opinion and I dont care if people agree with it tbh.

What you're doing there is saying "I have no personal experience of this, but it's not going to stop me from deciding that what you say about your lived experienced is untrue and if you were as virtuous as me you wouldn't now be in your difficult position."

My mother married a shit, she kicked him out when I was one year old. I've had friends marry shits, each of them had no idea they were marrying a shit, nor any reason to think they were. Are they supposed to surrender their one life on this Earth to being tied to a shit? You don't "resolve differences" with a liar, a serial cheat, a thief, an abuser.

The reason this can't be passed off as just an unpopular opinion is that it's one that keeps people - more commonly women - in very bad situations because of the sense of failure and the fear of judgement involved in walking away. It creates a pressure to stay in bad marriages, and that sucks.

[GordonS]

1 hour ago, Zen Archer Esq. said:

What happened before marriage?

Folk  have been shagging for fucking years, I know that because I'm here.

Marriage is a construct by some c**t that wanted to have a hold over the general populous.

It's not the shagging, it's how mum manages to eat and find shelter in the years when the children are dependent. Only very recently and only in our part of the world has that been possible without help.

Marriage - in the sense of two people or two parents deciding to stick together permanently - predates religion. Religions turn marriage into a tool of control, but they do that with everything.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, GordonS said:

Religions turn marriage into a tool of control, but they do that with everything.

I said as much without bringing religion into it, now the elephant is free.

[D.A.F.C]

What you're doing there is saying "I have no personal experience of this, but it's not going to stop me from deciding that what you say about your lived experienced is untrue and if you were as virtuous as me you wouldn't now be in your difficult position."
My mother married a shit, she kicked him out when I was one year old. I've had friends marry shits, each of them had no idea they were marrying a shit, nor any reason to think they were. Are they supposed to surrender their one life on this Earth to being tied to a shit? You don't "resolve differences" with a liar, a serial cheat, a thief, an abuser.
The reason this can't be passed off as just an unpopular opinion is that it's one that keeps people - more commonly women - in very bad situations because of the sense of failure and the fear of judgement involved in walking away. It creates a pressure to stay in bad marriages, and that sucks.

Why did they marry shits?

[BFTD]

4 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Why did they marry shits?

Their excellent prospects at work?

[Futureboy]

Massively overly simplified, but I read an article lately (England and Wales based only if I remember correctly). 42% of marriages in the survey/poll ended in divorce. It then broke the sample down to those surveyed who only stayed together due to kids/religion/financial or other societal pressures. The take away was that happy marriages are in the minority.

Personally, I've been married once, completed that game early and will never play it again.

Also, despite some individuals thinking to the contrary, my two kids are happier with Mum and Dad apart and are flourishing for it. A split marriage doesn't equate to a split in parental responsibility.

 

[GordonS]

18 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

34 minutes ago, GordonS said:

What you're doing there is saying "I have no personal experience of this, but it's not going to stop me from deciding that what you say about your lived experienced is untrue and if you were as virtuous as me you wouldn't now be in your difficult position."
My mother married a shit, she kicked him out when I was one year old. I've had friends marry shits, each of them had no idea they were marrying a shit, nor any reason to think they were. Are they supposed to surrender their one life on this Earth to being tied to a shit? You don't "resolve differences" with a liar, a serial cheat, a thief, an abuser.
The reason this can't be passed off as just an unpopular opinion is that it's one that keeps people - more commonly women - in very bad situations because of the sense of failure and the fear of judgement involved in walking away. It creates a pressure to stay in bad marriages, and that sucks.

Why did they marry shits?

You think they knew they were shits and married them anyway? Seriously?

If you had much life experience you'd know people - especially men, but plenty of women too - can hide their shittery for a long time, or turn into shits later in life. If they were shits from the outset there's be a helluva lot less domestic violence.

[Shotgun]

On 17/08/2020 at 15:13, D.A.F.C said:

Just turn a blind eye to everything and pretend that the facts and statistics are wrong because it’s not politically correct to suggest that people should be responsible?

 

8 hours ago, Shotgun said:

Good to see the old school term “Politically Correct” reappearing after almost being completely replaced by “Offended” as the go-to defence word whenever someone disagrees with a conservative viewpoint. 

 

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

Perhaps people shouldn't read an unpopular opinions thread if they get offended by unpopular opinions. This isnt the news at ten im just some bampot football fan ffs.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. 

[Bairnardo]

This is another disaster for D.A.F.C.

"Why did they marry shits?" Being a particularly insulting lowlight.

[BFTD]

Moving swiftly towards the endgame again...

[101]

18 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Going back to the original point of why some kids can't behave this was why I originally posted about single parents and lack of a father type figure.
I did try and back it up with facts from America and that the black community has a disproportionate level of single mums and also a disproportionate level of crime and gang culture.
So this really is my controversial opinion not that single mums are to blame or terrible or below anyone else just that sometimes bad choices are made.
Lack of father figures seem to have an effect on kids behaviour at times and with todays modern views this is very out of step with modern parenting views.
I realise that people from this demographic will react badly to it and lash out due to the general shaming of single parents as if they all made a mistake.
Really dont know if its just my friends group or local area but genuinely it does seem like 80% of women 25-40 are single with a kid or kids. That seems really high and its not exactly an impoverished area full of junkies etc. Just feel like if this was across the board then its quite surprising.

TBH it says more about the dads then the mums, this isnt an attack on anyone.

Using America to back up your points is your first mistake. Their education and justice system are amongst the worst in the world. Particularly their justice system which requires people to be in jail and guess what if you NEED people in jail locking up the poorest people because they can't defend themselves properly is the easiest way to do it. Hence large numbers of single parent house holds, with the Da in jail and large rates of childhood/ young adulthood crime.

If you want to make points based on fact why not use Denmark they have the highest rates of single parent households in Europe (30% twice the UKs) and yet in Denmark youth crime is at its lowest levels since 2006. Maybe this is far more complex than if your maw or Da is out the house you're going to be a bam.

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

Guaranteed the "research" that goes into this is googling "single parents bad kids" in the same way it's been, for instance "why is BLM bad?" and "structural racism not real?" The credulity and confirmation bias the boy displays is so consistent

 

[throbber]

I think people are too obsessed with marriage and view it as the ultimate destination for true love and happiness but when the honeymoon period is over and they aren’t feeling warm and fuzzy anymore they blame their other halves, the marriage inevitably comes to an end and there is a great deal of resentment left over. I’d like to see how many of the 42% of the divorces occur within 3 years of marriage and how many of them cite the reason for being divorced as to having rushed the marriage in the first place.

Weddings are not only incredibly expensive, they are also, often a superficial dick waving contest and a chance for the couples families to take passive aggressive swipes at relatives and so called friends  by not inviting them or giving them evening invites whilst they invite their newly found cooler mates along for the entire day. I’ve seen many friendships and families inflicted with deep and hurtful scars based on invites to weddings and hen/stag dos in the past and it’s not pretty.

I’d say most people are as well just not bothering tbh.