Twitter

[hk blues]

14 minutes ago, Slim Charles. said:

Seagulls are the arseholes of the bird world.

[Bert Raccoon]

29 minutes ago, hk blues said:

There's actually a well know seagull in Glasgow nicknamed Steven Seagull. Normally found perched on a bus stop outside Radisson Blue readying himself to steal food from unsuspecting pedestrians. He attempted to take a Haggis Pie from me once but I was ready and punched him on the beak 

[hk blues]

31 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

There's actually a well know seagull in Glasgow nicknamed Steven Seagull. Normally found perched on a bus stop outside Radisson Blue readying himself to steal food from unsuspecting pedestrians. He attempted to take a Haggis Pie from me once but I was ready and punched him on the beak 

You wouldn't try that with the real Steven Segal.   At least, not twice.

[jimbaxters]

3 minutes ago, hk blues said:

You wouldn't try that with the real Steven Segal.   At least, not twice.

If he brought that big birthday cake with him he could have any food he felt like.

[Bert Raccoon]

14 minutes ago, hk blues said:

You wouldn't try that with the real Steven Segal.   At least, not twice.

I've scrapped with worse at shutting time in Hamilton 

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, Bert Raccoon said:

I've scrapped with worse at shutting time in Hamilton 

And that's just the women! 

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, Bert Raccoon said:

There's actually a well know seagull in Glasgow nicknamed Steven Seagull. Normally found perched on a bus stop outside Radisson Blue readying himself to steal food from unsuspecting pedestrians. He attempted to take a Haggis Pie from me once but I was ready and punched him on the beak 

[Bodie]

52 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

I've scrapped with worse at shutting time in Hamilton 

He would crush you Bert.

[Bert Raccoon]

9 minutes ago, Slim Charles. said:

He would crush you Bert.

You ever been outside Hamilton Palace at 3am? Makes that look like a tea party 

[Sergeant Wilson]

I'd  take that Bald Eagle more seriously if it didn't walk like Bernie Clifton.

 

[Zetterlund]

I feel a bit sorry for seagulls who at the end of the day are only arseholes cos they're hungry (again, a bit like the 3am neds).

Ostriches, though, would key your car out of boredom if given the chance.

[Bodie]

30 minutes ago, Zetterlund said:

I feel a bit sorry for seagulls who at the end of the day are only arseholes cos they're hungry (again, a bit like the 3am neds).

Ostriches, though, would key your car out of boredom if given the chance.

Seagulls have ruined many a family day out at the beach with their arsehole behaviour, all because they want a free meal. Start fishing again you lazy b*****ds.

It is the noble ostrich that one should feel pity for. An abomination of a species clearly created when God was on one of his 5 day benders using all the left over parts from other animals.

[The Moonster]

46 minutes ago, Zetterlund said:

I feel a bit sorry for seagulls who at the end of the day are only arseholes cos they're hungry (again, a bit like the 3am neds).

Ostriches, though, would key your car out of boredom if given the chance.

I was once told that if you face an ostrich into a corner it can't figure out that it has to turn round to move anywhere and will just stand there staring at the corner until it dies or is otherwise disrupted. I've always wanted it to be true so I've never bothered to check if it actually is, just in case it's not. 

[BFTD]

5 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

I was once told that if you face an ostrich into a corner it can't figure out that it has to turn round to move anywhere and will just stand there staring at the corner until it dies or is otherwise disrupted. I've always wanted it to be true so I've never bothered to check if it actually is, just in case it's not. 

Dunno, but you can paralyse a chicken by drawing a line in front of its face.

 

[scottsdad]

Last week I saw a Robin - a beautiful, wee wintry Robin - utterly destroy a worm in the garden. 

A few days later, the neighbour's cat was munching on the remains of a bird. It may have been the same, it may not. I like to think it is. 

[Cosmic Joe]

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

Last week I saw a Robin - a beautiful, wee wintry Robin - utterly destroy a worm in the garden. 

A few days later, the neighbour's cat was munching on the remains of a bird. It may have been the same, it may not. I like to think it is. 

Which begs the question, which creature dines on cats?

[Brother Blades]

I’ve ridden an ostrich. 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, Brother Blades said:

I’ve ridden an ostrich. 

I doubt it noticed.

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Brother Blades said:

I’ve ridden an ostrich. 

I doubt you're the only one on here.

[BFTD]

3 hours ago, Brother Blades said:

I’ve ridden an ostrich. 

I've eaten one.

Hopefully not after you'd just finished with it.