Francesc Fabregas Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 I genuinely can't believe how you're keeping the quality up, Barry. Each one is as good, if not better, than the last. You're a god-damn, motherfucking genius, man. Sames, I was worried that after Jocky's dismissal that there'd be a dip in quality, but this is fucking astonishing work. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nizzy Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 'Straight oot o' Dundee! Crazy muthafucka named Jocky! See yir arm? No' as big as meh cock, eh? A pair o' braces, a leather belt, pull yir breeks up or yir gettin' fuckin telt! Straight oot o' Dundee." To put it simply, that's without doubt the funniest thing I've read on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Enter our new assistant manager. He came down the track riding a kiddie's tricycle. The players looked on in horror as he approached. He was wearing nothing but a bib, a nappy, and a hat with a little propeller on top of it. Jumping off the tricycle he bounded over towards us shouting, 'BILLY LIKE FUTBA! BILLY LIKES FUTBA!'. He was drooling profusely, and his tongue was lolling out his mouth like that of a frisky Border Collie who just fucked a sheep. 'Gentleman, this is Billy Dodds. He's your new assistant manager. This man can set up cones and markers like no-one you've ever met before. If he appears different from the popular sports pundit you all know and love, it's due to a bizarre mental defect that means he only snaps into what you consider to be normality when a camera or microphone is placed in front of him. The rest of the time he's a gentle idiot with the mental capacity of a pound of steak mince. Observe.' Chisholm pulled out a microphone and pointed it at Dodds. Suddenly he changed and became perfectly coherent. 'Thanks Gordon. Lads, I'm Billy Dodds. You'll probably recognise me from the media. I've spent the whole season calling Dundee a bunch of p***ks, but you better believe my attitude changed the moment a wad of cash was waved under my nose. I'm now of the opinion that Dundee FC are a sleeping giant who deserve to be back where they belong in the top flight of the Scottish game. I'm a bit of a whore for the old moolah, but there you go.' Chisholm put the mic behind his back, out of sight. 'BILLY LIKES FUTBA! BILLY SLEEPS WITH THE LIGHT ON 'CAUSE HE'S SCARED OF PAPA SHANGO!' He started running around in circles singing Brown Girl in the Ring and being sick on himself. As we watched in awe for a few minutes he seemed to tire himself out. He burst into tears and started slapping himself hard in the face. Chisholm ushered him into the home team dugout, put a a blanket over him and put him to sleep. Training got underway. This was the bit that set me going. Brilliant work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Colin McMenamin ventured a question. 'Got any work lined up, Jocky?' 'Hiya Coco. Hiya pal! You're fucking shite by the way. It's a fucking miracle that you made a living oot o' playing futba. Its funny cause its true Another top notch edition Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibby82 Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 He spoke softly, and replied 'Jocky's fine, pal. Dinnae worry aboot Jocky. Awa' up the road now.' I almost shed a tear here. Excellent work, Barry. I can't help but feel your characterisation of Billy Dodds is bang on - more biographical than satirical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 This one even got the wife laughing out loud. The Age of Jocky will never die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRubberFist Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 "he's a gentle idiot with the mental capacity of a pound of steak mince. Observe." Cheers Barry - the blog just gets better each time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Killington Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 G'day, cunto lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 FAO The Arch - Is your P&B message Inbox full? Clear a few out - I've got something of potential interest to forward to you. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Once again, thanks to everyone for their kind words. Cheers a'body! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Tourette Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Barry, you b*****d! I made the mistake of reading that while drinking a cup of coffee. All was fine until Billy Dodds showed up on his tricycle. I've now stained a good shirt, cunto! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyWho? Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 I'm sat at work pissing myself. No' cuz of the blog, likes. I just like to piss myself. Honestly though, I was ending myself there. Those in my immediate vicinity were concerned I was having some kind of seizure. Billy's brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Sara Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Tony Bullock was about to saw Sean Higgins in half Hats off to you Barry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyWho? Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 "Eh see yi, Billy! Jocky sees yi!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Sara Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 The best bit about that is theres a Dundee fan that gets on the same bus as me to away games who is exactly like that and is called Billy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_MFC Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Absolutely brilliant. I was worried at the start that it was coming to an end but the return of Jocky is outstanding, kudos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglebonce Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 I agree with Nizzy, that lyric is the funniest thing I've read on P&B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southview Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Teckle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Fantastic, crying with laughter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 26, 2010 Share Posted March 26, 2010 Some cracking images have gone up on the Pusbook page in the last few days. Good old Billy Dodds. I'm going to ruin that wee swine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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