eddiemunster Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) I shared a 2 bedroom (1 bathroom) flat wi 7 other people in Sydney, coz it was mega dear for rent. Four guys who worked different shifts shared 2 beds in one room, nightshift boys would come home, wake up the dayshift boys & get into the still warm beds. The rest of us shared the other room & a couple of sofa beds. It was a busy hoose. Finishing work one Friday afternoon, I felt my guts twinge a bit & knew a hefty shite wasn't far away but I popped it back into, the oven to bake a bit longer & headed to the pub. A few beers in & my stomach started growling again, so instead of braving the pub bogs which were pretty grim, I headed off on a brisk walk home with my shite. I was actually having to walk funny & was quite literally touching cloth as I took the stairs up to the flat 2 at a time. My belt was undone as I put my key in the door & the jeans were getting opened as I went to the bathroom when, disaster the door was locked! I was about to shit myself there & then. One of our female flat mates had just got in the bath & did not respond well to my begging her to let me in. Immediate action had to be taken & I hobbled around the flat thinking what to do, when I had an amazing idea. I went to the living room & spread out a good treble layer of newspaper ready to take the damage. I then done a pish out the veranda & quickly moonwalked backwards to drop this enormous shite that was tearing my insides apart . The relief was heavenly, but the smell was fucking horrendous. I was just enjoying the freeing of my bowels when the livingroom door opened & our other female flat mate came home from work to the sight of me shiteing on the livingroom floor from behind. All she said was "what the f**k?!" before wretching & running from the scene. I quickly scrunched up the evidence into a loose ball & fucked it out the veranda whilst taking the biggest red neck I've ever known. I'm actually taking a beamer just typing this. Suffice to say I moved out of that flat soon afterwards & stopped drinking at the same pub as the rest of them. Skulking around as "that guy who shat on the livingroom floor". Edited November 3, 2011 by eddiemunster 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the jambo-rocker Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Maybe it is just me, but with everything right now that is going on right now, does it feel like the world going bananas? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Done, doesn't take long at all people. Done, although for Father and Mother I put length rather than height for obvious reasons. Cheers. Hitler royally fucked Cowdenbeath FC. We were flying until the league disbanded in 39 and we were subsequently voted in the lower division by the West coast bias when they reformed. f**k you Adolf, that's why I hate you. Falkirk were top of the old top flight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 The family dog is being put to sleep today. He's had a long and happy life but is suffering very badly with health problems. We know it's the right thing to do but we're all quite upset at it :-( -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_T_Y Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Just spent 40 quid on fireworks.boom 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEMON Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Wow man, that's deep. It's almost like you've studied this intensely in, like, a Standard Grade (General) History class. killing is my business ....... and business is good 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Nyan Cat: The Musical! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 The family dog is being put to sleep today. He's had a long and happy life but is suffering very badly with health problems. We know it's the right thing to do but we're all quite upset at it :-( That's a sad situation to be in. I was devastated when my pet dog had to be put to sleep. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwell87 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Google "Do a barrell Roll" Don't think it works if you are using a phone though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 "Our Blacks are better than our blacks" says mental US women. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) That's a sad situation to be in. I was devastated when my pet dog had to be put to sleep. Tell me about it. Had him for 12 years and he really was my best pal. We know it was the right thing to do but holding him while he fell asleep was maybe the saddest thing I've ever had to do. I've never experienced anything like this before - I'm 28 and still have four grandparents. Any deaths in my extended family have come while I was too young to really understand what was happening and I've never really suffered a bereavement before. I've known deaths of older family friends and suchlike but nothing so close to myself. The worst thing about it was that for the past few weeks now he's had so many days where he's barely had the energy to walk and eat, but today he was a bit more lively. It would have been easier to do it had he been having another poorly day. Still, wherever he is now, he isn't suffering and isn't in pain. Poor we man Edited November 3, 2011 by Gaz 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Tell me about it. Had him for 12 years and he really was my best pal. We know it was the right thing to do but holding him while he fell asleep was maybe the saddest thing I've ever had to do. I've never experienced anything like this before - I'm 28 and still have four grandparents. Any deaths in my extended family have come while I was too young to really understand what was happening and I've never really suffered a bereavement before. I've known deaths of older family friends and suchlike but nothing so close to myself. The worst thing about it was that for the past few weeks now he's had so many days where he's barely had the energy to walk and eat, but today he was a bit more lively. It would have been easier to do it had he been having another poorly day. Still, wherever he is now, he isn't suffering and isn't in pain. Poor we man Feel sorry for you mate. My cousin's dog had to be put down a few months ago, he wouldn't even sit down because it hurt him too much. Obviously your dog was a lot closer to you than my cousin's, it's a pretty shit thing to go through. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 My cousin's dog had to be put down a few months ago, he wouldn't even sit down because it hurt him too much. It's probably piles, get him to see a Doctor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 :My parents dog passed away when i was 21 and that hurt me pretty bad as we had the dog for 15 years. I'd be glad to see the back of the fucking thing if it had hurt me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditots Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 She must be 20 years older than me but I find myself attracted to Claire Grogan 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 She must be 20 years older than me but I find myself attracted to Claire Grogan Keep out the road son. I'll deal with her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chico Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Keep out the road son. I'll deal with her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 She must be 20 years older than me but I find myself attracted to Claire Grogan If I had a pound for everyone that's told me they were in Nico's the night she got chibbed I'd have nearly a tenner. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Keep out the road son. I'll deal with her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I am absolutely knackered. Left the house at 8am, worked my normal shift then went to our Edinburgh office and managed a private dinner event there (special guest was Kevin Keegan, very nice guy). Just home now. I also need to get the half 7 train to Aberdeen tomorrow morning, going to be burst! On the plus side though, it's only the 3rd of November and I've already billed 22 hours of overtime this month with a good few more to come. It's gonna be a good Christmas 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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