Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Nope, you're talking shite. Fair enough Professor Faeces. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 hour ago, 'WellDel said: So, not only do these poor cnuts work in a lab analysing shit on a stick, but they need to do it in fucking Dundee? When they get to the lab in Dundee, opening a box full of shite is a big improvement on the day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 4 hours ago, BFTD said: Looks like they're in the process of broadening the starting age from 60 to 50, so it'll be a few years before I'm invited not to talk about Shit Club. Wait.... this is free when you hit 50??? That's going to save me a small fortune. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 To be fair, Kings Cross is literally 5 minutes from the house so I might just go and do it on the reception desk. Saves everyone a lot of hassle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 2 hours ago, 'WellDel said: So, not only do these poor cnuts work in a lab analysing shit on a stick, but they need to do it in fucking Dundee? Quite the double whammy. Bet they wish their weekends away to get back on the job(bies) of a Monday morning. ^^^ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 1 hour ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: Wait.... this is free when you hit 50??? That's going to save me a small fortune. You're never too young to start not talking about Shit Club. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted July 17, 2022 Share Posted July 17, 2022 58 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: ^^^ An oft made mistake, but that handsome young man was from Carluke and, latterly, Lesmahagow ( both South Lanarkshire so more of a claim to your Accies types), I believe. He may have sullied the fine town of Motherwell's good name by pumping his sister in the lift at our train station, but he's not one of ours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 I watched the Adam Sandler film “that’s my boy” at the mother in laws last night. I had never heard of it before but f**k me what a film it was. Somewhat reminded me of Freddie Got fingered and judging by the reviews it is clearly filed as one or the worst efforts of all time. Needless to say all 4 of us were in fits throughout and went to bed still laughing. This is a quick snippet of one review I found: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 Today at work I've dealt with a Billy Bremner, Tommy Burns, Helen Baxendale and now former French Open champion Michael Chang has just pitched up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 13 minutes ago, DiegoDiego said: Today at work I've dealt with a Billy Bremner, Tommy Burns, Helen Baxendale and now former French Open champion Michael Chang has just pitched up. Where do you work, Tussaud's? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 On 16/07/2022 at 18:21, Melanius Mullarkay said: That’s me got the “please shit in this” letter. Will join the club over the next few days. Just failed mine! Got a date on Friday with a couple of extreme laxatives,then, on Saturday,into hospital for an unwanted photoshoot with a dodgy looking camera. On the bright side though, have heard that the guy next in the queue is in about a sore throat.. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 The stench emanating from Arbroath, not the locals this time, seemingly seaweed. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 22 minutes ago, Venti said: Genuinely better than anything Disney has done in the last 2 years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 3 hours ago, supermik said: Just failed mine! Got a date on Friday with a couple of extreme laxatives,then, on Saturday,into hospital for an unwanted photoshoot with a dodgy looking camera. On the bright side though, have heard that the guy next in the queue is in about a sore throat.. All the best mate, hope they caught it early. Bit of warning, the nurse who shoves the camera up your arse will have heard the "We'll have to stop meeting like this" line before.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted July 18, 2022 Share Posted July 18, 2022 6 hours ago, DiegoDiego said: Today at work I've dealt with a Billy Bremner, Tommy Burns, Helen Baxendale and now former French Open champion Michael Chang has just pitched up. Kenny Dalglish senior was one of my favourite characters in Phoenix Nights 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duszek Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 Always had a soft spot for seaweed which resembles alien predators. “Its leg just moved” I told my gullible son as we strolled down Cromarty beach. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Bartender Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 (edited) On 18/07/2022 at 19:14, supermik said: Just failed mine! Got a date on Friday with a couple of extreme laxatives,then, on Saturday,into hospital for an unwanted photoshoot with a dodgy looking camera. On the bright side though, have heard that the guy next in the queue is in about a sore throat.. Haud oan! It's not failed, it's just dodgy looking sample - there's a huge proportion of these that are just reporting a possible thing to look at - a false positive, but better that than missing things.. So no panic on health grounds. If you feel like panicking however, the Cleanprep or whatever requires drinking 33 litres of heavy undrinkable thick water for 12 hours before - that's hard work. (Slight exaggerations). And it's not a camera - it's a swiss army knife they use. Camera and torch (for obvious reasons), snipping tool and bucket to collect samples of anything interesting such as polyps, tumours or that pack of cocaine that you forgot to drop off to your pal in Barlinnie last week. And sometimes things get held up by the tube not making it round a bend. The best bit is getting to watch the inside of your colon on-screen as they shove the tube about about -vaguely Dr Whoish. They're usually a nice bunch of people who will make you feel at ease despite having to look at your anus. Don't reveal which team you support just in case the operator is a (insert worst possible club here). All the best for a good day out and a good outcome. Edited July 19, 2022 by House Bartender sp. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 Making my return to football with these badbiys. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 19, 2022 Share Posted July 19, 2022 28 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said: Making my return to football with these badbiys. I hope, for your sake, that you're good. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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