Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Just had this from the wife. Should keep her busy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Somewhat related, for a few years I had a very physically intense job where I was essentially digging for 10 hours a day. As a result, I would eat huge meals and supplement my calorie intake with regular handfuls of mixed nuts (ooer). The result of this was that at least a couple of times a month I would do long, solid shites that were easily over a foot in length. They were so large that they would initially nestle beyond the u-bend, snake up through the water and breach the surface before arching back into the water again. Even though this would happen on a semi-regular basis, the sense of pride at the creation of such majesty would never fade. I'm lucky if I can squeeze out a six-incher (ooer) these days. Pathetic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 28 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Just had this from the wife. Should keep her busy. Who says romance is dead eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 5 minutes ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: Somewhat related, for a few years I had a very physically intense job where I was essentially digging for 10 hours a day. As a result, I would eat huge meals and supplement my calorie intake with regular handfuls of mixed nuts (ooer). The result of this was that at least a couple of times a month I would do long, solid shites that were easily over a foot in length. They were so large that they would initially nestle beyond the u-bend, snake up through the water and breach the surface before arching back into the water again. Even though this would happen on a semi-regular basis, the sense of pride at the creation of such majesty would never fade. I'm lucky if I can squeeze out a six-incher (ooer) these days. Pathetic. BFH in his prime; 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 7 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Who says romance is dead eh? Ive told her to try bleach and a hot kettle. Failing that, get Mike from next door to come in with his big long pole (yes yes). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Just now, Melanius Mullarkay said: Ive told her to try bleach and a hot kettle. Failing that, get Mike from next door to come in with his big long pole (yes yes). Hope you have a good alibi should she try to cut the corner and fill the kettle with bleach 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 39 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Just had this from the wife. Should keep her busy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Ive told her to try bleach and a hot kettle. Failing that, get Mike from next door to come in with his big long pole (yes yes). A wee bit of washing up liquid with hot water should work.Another is a couple of tablespoons of bicarb and the same of vinegar. Leave this to sit for 30mins then hot water.I have two boys who were teenagers until recently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Ive told her to try bleach and a hot kettle. Failing that, get Mike from next door to come in with his big long pole (yes yes). An old mop is the best thing for this, make sure it's soaking wet then flush and use it as a plunger. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 I’ll send on all the info to her thanks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 7 minutes ago, Loonytoons said: A wee bit of washing up liquid with hot water should work. Another is a couple of tablespoons of bicarb and the same of vinegar. Leave this to sit for 30mins then hot water. I have two boys who were teenagers until recently. Sounds like you have killed both your son's by blowing up your toilet with bicarb and vinegar. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 26 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Ive told her to try bleach and a hot kettle. Failing that, get Mike from next door to come in with his big long pole (yes yes). A wire coat hanger should do the trick. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: A wire coat hanger should do the trick. Aye, break it up, but remember to rinse it before you put it back in the wardrobe. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Struggling to know how it's possible to walk away and leave it lying in the bowl, unless it was on purpose? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 minute ago, jimbaxters said: Struggling to know how it's possible to walk away and leave it lying in the bowl, unless it was on purpose? Lid down, flushed, went in shower and off to work. Never thought to check for full evacuation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 2 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said: Pair of arseholes Pretty sure they're vegetables. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 17 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Aye, break it up, but remember to rinse it before you put it back in the wardrobe. If only Mummy Mullarkey had followed this advice we’d have been saved all his mushroom and concrete-related pish. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: If only Mummy Mullarkey had followed this advice we’d have been saved all his mushroom and concrete-related pish. that's brutal 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 Some strange guy in my work has just came into the room I'm eating my lunch in and is chatting to his girlfriend on speakerphone, I hope he chokes on his crisps. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 hour ago, thomas said: Some strange guy in my work has just came into the room I'm eating my lunch in and is chatting to his girlfriend on speakerphone, I hope he chokes on his crisps. I'd be tempted to say in a loud voice "Is that the greetin' faced fat boot you've been telling me about on the phone? Better cut the call as your other bird is waiting in the office..." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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