Bairnardo Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 Had the best long lie I have had in many years today. Cowped until 1153 am. Amazing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 36 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: It’s a weird one. The wifie randomly emailed me about 20 years ago saying she was tracing her family tree and asked where I was from. Told her my old boy was from Lossie so she contacted him. A few email as later and her and the husband (poetcunt) randomly turn up at my folks house one night. Fucking oddballs but they did give us a copy of my dads family tree back to the 1600s. She’s never been back to the UK since. This is the nightmare, and the reason I'll never have anything to do with this genealogy pish. My father occasionally mentions having tracked down distant relatives to far-flung parts of the world and gives it, "I've still got their address if you fancy getting in touch with them". Sure, or I could just give my address to the lonely nutter on the bus who tries to talk to everyone. What could go wrong? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 “Bruce, I’ve had another letter from that Alloa fan pervert from Scotland. He’s sent some photos this time” “Struth Shiela!” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 27 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: “Bruce, I’ve had another letter from that Alloa fan pervert from Scotland. He’s sent some photos this time” “Struth Shiela!” Sending photos? I do believe you've missed the point, sir! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 Currently listening to the shared Spotify account’s “Your Top Songs 2021” playlist. So far it’s been an odd combination of 80s shitpop, Bond themes, Disney songs, and “Yes sir, I can boogie”. I’m not convinced she’s used the account this year tbh, and it’s glorious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 A guy I knew up north had a couple of weirdos from Down South who would rock up at his door each summer and want a piss up around his kitchen table (which usually coincided with me also staying at his). He couldn't remember ever meeting them before hand, yet they seemed to know everything about him. Amazingly, one of these visitors turned up at my door a couple of months ago to deliver a our new greenhouse, haven driven all the way up from Yorkshire just for that single job. Now he knows where I live. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 9 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: A guy I knew up north had a couple of weirdos from Down South who would rock up at his door each summer and want a piss up around his kitchen table (which usually coincided with me also staying at his). He couldn't remember ever meeting them before hand, yet they seemed to know everything about him. Amazingly, one of these visitors turned up at my door a couple of months ago to deliver a our new greenhouse, haven driven all the way up from Yorkshire just for that single job. Now he knows where I live. Now you know how it feels, cunto 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 A guy I knew up north had a couple of weirdos from Down South who would rock up at his door each summer and want a piss up around his kitchen table (which usually coincided with me also staying at his). He couldn't remember ever meeting them before hand, yet they seemed to know everything about him. Amazingly, one of these visitors turned up at my door a couple of months ago to deliver a our new greenhouse, haven driven all the way up from Yorkshire just for that single job. Now he knows where I live.Hedgecutter gets Hedgecuttered. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: So as it’s New Year’s Eve again, I’ve just received the annual poem from some distant weirdo relatives who live in Australia. Every year the c**t sends it on expecting a round of applause for his Daily Mailesque rant. I’ve put it in a spoiler as it’s quite long. Reveal hidden contents The Tooth Fairy The world has many “experts” officially appointed A bizarre selection process Government anointed The Press accepts their message so truth has been obscured But I’ll do my own assessment over 80 years matured Surprising that a teenage girl could hold a crowd aroused How dare they just accept that useless garbage she espoused An audience ecstatic demonstrating by applause Acceptance of her theories and aligning with her cause Politicians ae convinced, they are effortless to coax Supporting simple theories guaranteed to gather votes Ignoring proven data and true scientific view They follow bland scenarios aligned to their IQ The global warming fiction has full government support While the billions that it costs us is nothing but a rort They blame carbon dioxide which is dangerously low With most of it locked up in coal as trees died long ago The poles on earth’s rotation trace big circles in the sky Their angle to the sun’s rays oscillate as years goes by Warming up or cooling down at each pole in succession A twenty-seven thousand years axial precession Activities of man have a minuscule effect On normal solar cycles and the weather we expect A carbon neutral climate is a terrible idea Vegetation will decline with lower carbon in the air Already we experience clearly noticeable signs The winters getting cooler as temperature declines And the summers just get slightly warmer every year With minor variations as expected to be there A world of six-plus billion is a frightening spectacle Viral procreation seems to be the general rule The pollution thus created should really be abhorred And beneficial carbon gases never be ignored As usual we find socialism swinging to extremes Selecting party candidates by race and gender themes Ability is overlooked for the emphasis is woke Resulting in appointments that are nothing but a joke How dare our Politicians bow to prattling from the young How dare they gift them voting rights, their lives have just begun How dare they carbon starve our trees with adolescent schemes How dare they take for granted bogus theories from the Greens Quite typically our powers that be indulge a spending binge The mortgage debt created is enough to make one cringe With free speech to be restricted, a strategic power shift The Tooth Fairy grants indigenes a billion dollar gift w****r. Siadwell emigrated to Oz? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 @Bairnardo as works been deed I've been reading Grace Dent on Gaurdian website...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: So as it’s New Year’s Eve again, I’ve just received the annual poem from some distant weirdo relatives who live in Australia. Every year the c**t sends it on expecting a round of applause for his Daily Mailesque rant. I’ve put it in a spoiler as it’s quite long. Reveal hidden contents The Tooth Fairy The world has many “experts” officially appointed A bizarre selection process Government anointed The Press accepts their message so truth has been obscured But I’ll do my own assessment over 80 years matured Surprising that a teenage girl could hold a crowd aroused How dare they just accept that useless garbage she espoused An audience ecstatic demonstrating by applause Acceptance of her theories and aligning with her cause Politicians ae convinced, they are effortless to coax Supporting simple theories guaranteed to gather votes Ignoring proven data and true scientific view They follow bland scenarios aligned to their IQ The global warming fiction has full government support While the billions that it costs us is nothing but a rort They blame carbon dioxide which is dangerously low With most of it locked up in coal as trees died long ago The poles on earth’s rotation trace big circles in the sky Their angle to the sun’s rays oscillate as years goes by Warming up or cooling down at each pole in succession A twenty-seven thousand years axial precession Activities of man have a minuscule effect On normal solar cycles and the weather we expect A carbon neutral climate is a terrible idea Vegetation will decline with lower carbon in the air Already we experience clearly noticeable signs The winters getting cooler as temperature declines And the summers just get slightly warmer every year With minor variations as expected to be there A world of six-plus billion is a frightening spectacle Viral procreation seems to be the general rule The pollution thus created should really be abhorred And beneficial carbon gases never be ignored As usual we find socialism swinging to extremes Selecting party candidates by race and gender themes Ability is overlooked for the emphasis is woke Resulting in appointments that are nothing but a joke How dare our Politicians bow to prattling from the young How dare they gift them voting rights, their lives have just begun How dare they carbon starve our trees with adolescent schemes How dare they take for granted bogus theories from the Greens Quite typically our powers that be indulge a spending binge The mortgage debt created is enough to make one cringe With free speech to be restricted, a strategic power shift The Tooth Fairy grants indigenes a billion dollar gift w****r. Tell @Dee Man we all say hi. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, RH33 said: @Bairnardo as works been deed I've been reading Grace Dent on Gaurdian website...... Pics? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 2 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Tell @Dee Man we all say hi. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomintroll Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 45 minutes ago, RH33 said: @Bairnardo as works been deed I've been reading Grace Dent on Gaurdian website...... Read her Autobiography recently, she did not have the upbringing I expected. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 50 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 31, 2021 Share Posted December 31, 2021 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 Respect to the man in the ice-cream van 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 1, 2022 Share Posted January 1, 2022 Mary Sandeman on hearing the news from Parkhead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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