Things you want to share with P&B

[PB1994 331]

14 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Transaction finished before contact was made.  Contactless.

Didn’t even touch the sides.

[Florentine_Pogen 2,059]

Hunners of earwigs in the garden this year for some reason.

Mods please......they’re called clipshears......

[tamthebam 5,974]

1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said:

I'm in Glasgow this week for a course. First night so decided to go out and get some juice and snacks for the room. Heading back a lassie high as a kite approached me and the conversation went something like this.

Her: They "pakis" are watching me. But a need the £2.

Me: (Not wanting to be rude and just walk away) Where you going pal?

Her: A need the shop but I've nae money. Can you gimme £2?

Me: I don't carry cash pal, I only use my phone for contactless.

Her: Well can you get me summit fae the shop wae contactless?


Racism, a first hand view of the country's drug problem and quick-witted comedy all in one interaction. People make Glasgow

Boot.

Pie. 

Sorted. 

[tamthebam 5,974]

7 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I've never seen The Lion King.

Neither have I. 

but I believe ARRRRRRRRRSENE WENGER is in it. 

 

[Eednud 10,638]

48 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

  13 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

Hunners of earwigs in the garden this year for some reason.

 

48 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Mods please......they’re called clipshears......

More like forkie tailie or maybe even horny goloch.

[Melanius Mullarkey 16,655]

Clipshears FFS?

 

[MixuFixit 4,742]

Where in this cursed lands do people call them anything other than earwigs

[Dele 2,973]

Forkie taileys in Dundee tbf. 

[Sergeant Wilson 14,736]

Tweezy spideys in Airdrie.

[Melanius Mullarkey 16,655]

1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Tweezy spideys in Airdrie.

 

Enough of that

[die hard doonhamer 1,287]

PTTGOYN: Back at work today after a week off work.

RTBC: only 9 working weeks or so left them I'm off on paternity leave for 6 months.

[Melanius Mullarkey 16,655]

Lock up your chihuahuas.

Maybe it’s just a great big euph.

[Florentine_Pogen 2,059]

Clipshears FFS?

 

Always took you for an ignorant twat, MM......

https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/clipshear

Scottish National Dictionary (1700–)

Hide Quotations Hide Etymology Cite this entry

 

CLIPSHEAR, CLIPSHEER, n. An earwig (Fif.10, Lnl.1, Lnk.3 1937).

[′klɪpʃir]

Fif. 1864 W. D. Latto Tammas Bodkin xxx .:

“Ou, it's maybe no a flech ava,” quoth I, turnin' roond to compose mysel' to sleep again, “it's maybe a clipsheer.”

Edb. 1928 A. D. Mackie Poems in Two Tongues 27:

And for a' the worms and the clipshears raikin' aboot They've peace o' their banes.

 

[so called from the appearance of its forceps-like appendages.]

[Melanius Mullarkey 16,655]

5 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

Always took you for an ignorant twat, MM......

https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/clipshear

Scottish National Dictionary (1700–)

Hide Quotations Hide Etymology Cite this entry

 

CLIPSHEAR, CLIPSHEER, n. An earwig (Fif.10, Lnl.1, Lnk.3 1937).

[′klɪpʃir]

Fif. 1864 W. D. Latto Tammas Bodkin xxx .:

“Ou, it's maybe no a flech ava,” quoth I, turnin' roond to compose mysel' to sleep again, “it's maybe a clipsheer.”

Edb. 1928 A. D. Mackie Poems in Two Tongues 27:

And for a' the worms and the clipshears raikin' aboot They've peace o' their banes.

 

[so called from the appearance of its forceps-like appendages.]

Thats Fife!

[NJ2 3,684]

I like how it describes the clipshear as an earwig, it’s proper, and only, name.

[Melanius Mullarkey 16,655]

12 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

I like how it describes the clipshear as an earwig, it’s proper, and only, name.

These dictionaries always revert to the language of the oppressors tbf.

[GordonD 4,439]

14 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I have seen the Lion King.

 

13 hours ago, NJ2 said:

As have I. Went to the pictures as a child when it was released, cried a lot when that evil b*****d killed the wee mans father.

That was Batman.

[Shandon Par 14,244]

Was out running yesterday and blistered a very sensitive area. Went to shop and decided antiseptic Savlon was the way to go. Applied liberally then had a lie down. Woke up in agony half an hour later. Felt like I’d been shot between my balls and my arse. Turned out antiseptic wasn’t a good plan. Was in tears with pain and missus just laughed at me. 

[Stellaboz 4,051]

How did you blister there?

[Dee Man 16,380]

1 minute ago, Shandon Par said:

Was out running yesterday and blistered a very sensitive area. Went to shop and decided antiseptic Savlon was the way to go. Applied liberally then had a lie down. Woke up in agony half an hour later. Felt like I’d been shot between my balls and my arse. Turned out antiseptic wasn’t a good plan. Was in tears with pain and missus just laughed at me. 

Prevention is better than cure - I apply Vaseline to said areas and the nips to avoid chafing. I've learnt my lesson.