Things you want to share with P&B

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Maybe something to do with constantly being punched in the head?

You can see why the cheeky cūnt gets battered as often though.

[101]

59 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Anyone fancy chipping in some  pennies for your favourite Accies fan? (Dee Man, you've already donated, I for one will not play on your forgetfulness)

 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/nicolas-clark

Remind me after pay day, good luck though

[Ylf]

Went into work tonight and was told there would be drug and alcohol tests. It's been the same woman for the last couple of years who usually gets called in about once a month to perform them but one of the other workers has been seeing her for a while and he told me she'd recently packed the job in so I knew it was going to be someone else.
First thing the new tester asked when I got in the room was to see my driving licence but for the second night on the bounce I've left my wallet in the house.
- "I've left it at home but I can get you a copy from the office"
- *Dramatic hand to the forehead and a weird spin around on the spot from drug lady* "WHAT? You're a truck driver! Why don't you have your licence?" (It's illegal to drive in Australia without your licence on you).
- "I just told you I left it in the house".
- "I can't send you out without your driver licence. You'll have to go home and get it".
By now I'm a but pissed off with her tone and histrionics. - "What's it got to do with you? You're just here to do the drugs tests".
- "I'm your logistics manager".
Brilliant. She started a few weeks back when I was back in Scotland and this was the first I got to meet her. 
Not the best start to our working relationship and I could tell she wasn't impressed with the back chat but nae luck - act like a dick, get spoken to like a dick. 
 

ooft dee man god speed

[Miguel Sanchez]

On 23/09/2019 at 13:23, Shandon Par said:

 

FTFY

Earl Grey KitKat for me please. 

The Japanese are well ahead of us here:

 

[Bairnardo]

Late to party but Dee Mans new boss is definitely going to knock him out.

[Eednud]

18 hours ago, Dee Man said:

My wallet's usually always in my back right pocket. Dunno WTF's going on but I've been forgetting loads of shit recently. 

Very early onset dementia IMO. 

More like too much A2 mulk.

[Dee Man]

2 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Late to party but Dee Mans new boss is definitely going to knock him out.

I've probably got a good 4 stone weight advantage as well as being approximately a foot taller so I'm quietly confident on this one although I quite like my job so I'd probably let her win if it came to it. I will always have this post to refer to as an excuse as proof if she sticks me on my arse. 

Having thought about it, this isn't the first time I've taken umbrage at a highly strung woman who I had no idea was my boss. 

I accidentally took a wrong turn into the car park park at Tescos beside McDiarmid Park instead of the goods entrance which was the next turn. When I eventually got onto the dock a woman came steaming through and started going mental at me. Not being overly keen on anyone thinking they can talk to anyone like that, particularly myself, I gave her both barrels of the Telt-O-Meter 3000, only for her to utter the immortal words, "Do you know who I am? The transport manager for Scotland". 

I thought the "Do you know who I am" line was reserved exclusively for dickhead footballers, actors or any other sort of celebrity, delusionally immersed in their own self-importance. I told her words to that effect when it came to Christmas Eve and she was brown-nosing me to work late. 

You have to laugh at people who get themselves promoted and think their new position gives them authority to talk down to people. It has the exact opposite effect of what they are hoping to achieve. I've worked with some cracking bosses who know how to deal with people and ultimately get the most out of their staff. 

What was I talking about again?

[Shandon Par]

4 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

I've probably got a good 4 stone weight advantage as well as being approximately a foot taller so I'm quietly confident on this one although I quite like my job so I'd probably let her win if it came to it. I will always have this post to refer to as an excuse as proof if she sticks me on my arse. 

Having thought about it, this isn't the first time I've taken umbrage at a highly strung woman who I had no idea was my boss. 

I accidentally took a wrong turn into the car park park at Tescos beside McDiarmid Park instead of the goods entrance which was the next turn. When I eventually got onto the dock a woman came steaming through and started going mental at me. Not being overly keen on anyone thinking they can talk to anyone like that, particularly myself, I gave her both barrels of the Telt-O-Meter 3000, only for her to utter the immortal words, "Do you know who I am? The transport manager for Scotland". 

I thought the "Do you know who I am" line was reserved exclusively for dickhead footballers, actors or any other sort of celebrity, delusionally immersed in their own self-importance. I told her words to that effect when it came to Christmas Eve and she was brown-nosing me to work late. 

You have to laugh at people who get themselves promoted and think their new position gives them authority to talk down to people. It has the exact opposite effect of what they are hoping to achieve. I've worked with some cracking bosses who know how to deal with people and ultimately get the most out of their staff. 

What was I talking about again?

Be careful. Smaller, faster ladies can still pack a punch.

[Rugster]

20 hours ago, Dee Man said:

for the second night on the bounce I've left my wallet in the house.

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

I accidentally took a wrong turn into the car park park

Yeah, I'm seeing a pattern. 

[Robin.Hood]

Anyone fancy chipping in some  pennies for your favourite Accies fan? (Dee Man, you've already donated, I for one will not play on your forgetfulness)
 
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/nicolas-clark

No problem. Rounded it up . Goodluck

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 hour ago, Dee Man said:

I've probably got a good 4 stone weight advantage as well as being approximately a foot taller so I'm quietly confident on this one although I quite like my job so I'd probably let her win if it came to it. I will always have this post to refer to as an excuse as proof if she sticks me on my arse. 

Having thought about it, this isn't the first time I've taken umbrage at a highly strung woman who I had no idea was my boss. 

I accidentally took a wrong turn into the car park park at Tescos beside McDiarmid Park instead of the goods entrance which was the next turn. When I eventually got onto the dock a woman came steaming through and started going mental at me. Not being overly keen on anyone thinking they can talk to anyone like that, particularly myself, I gave her both barrels of the Telt-O-Meter 3000, only for her to utter the immortal words, "Do you know who I am? The transport manager for Scotland". 

I thought the "Do you know who I am" line was reserved exclusively for dickhead footballers, actors or any other sort of celebrity, delusionally immersed in their own self-importance. I told her words to that effect when it came to Christmas Eve and she was brown-nosing me to work late. 

You have to laugh at people who get themselves promoted and think their new position gives them authority to talk down to people. It has the exact opposite effect of what they are hoping to achieve. I've worked with some cracking bosses who know how to deal with people and ultimately get the most out of their staff. 

What was I talking about again?

Fully deserved abuse for calling it Tescos imo.

[Shandon Par]

21 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Anyone fancy chipping in some  pennies for your favourite Accies fan? (Dee Man, you've already donated, I for one will not play on your forgetfulness)

 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/nicolas-clark

I'll chuck in another tenner if you can trip up any rival Bovrilites on the day. 

[sjc]

21 hours ago, Dee Man said:

My wallet's usually always in my back right pocket. Dunno WTF's going on but I've been forgetting loads of shit recently. 

Very early onset dementia IMO. 

Check the carbon monoxide levels in your house.

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, G_Man1985 said:

22 hours ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Anyone fancy chipping in some  pennies for your favourite Accies fan? (Dee Man, you've already donated, I for one will not play on your forgetfulness)
 
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/nicolas-clark

No problem. Rounded it up . Goodluck

 

1 hour ago, Shandon Par said:

I'll chuck in another tenner if you can trip up any rival Bovrilites on the day. 

Legends, really appreciate.

[Robin.Hood]

Legends, really appreciate.

Welcome. This is close to my heart, especially where my mum is right now.

Goodluck on the run

[Bold Rover]

4 hours ago, sjc said:

Check the carbon monoxide levels in your house.

And if it's low, turn it up a bit.

[Mark Connolly]

Forgot Dee Man was a truck driver.

How many prostitutes do we think he has murdered?

[Bairnardo]

Forgot Dee Man was a truck driver.
How many prostitutes do we think he has murdered?

In the last half hour?

[Mark Connolly]

Just now, Bairnardo said:

3 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

Forgot Dee Man was a truck driver.
How many prostitutes do we think he has murdered?

In the last half hour?

Possibly, but his memory struggles might be a loss of his powers due to a lack of murdering activity

[KnightswoodBear]

On 24/09/2019 at 19:30, Bert Raccoon said:

Anyone fancy chipping in some  pennies for your favourite Accies fan? (Dee Man, you've already donated, I for one will not play on your forgetfulness)

 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/nicolas-clark

Done.