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I had relations with a Aussie girl at work one day (Saturday afternoon, we were boozing and not doing much work). She said "your p***k is magnificent" and that I was "the best shag she'd had since she came to England" and it gave me a new fondness for Australians. No desire to ever go there though. 


I recently worked out that I've been with more Aussies than any other nationality (if you count Scottish and English separately), which was partly due to that trip and partly because half of Australia seemed to descend on Edinburgh for a few years around 2009 or so. Their one saving grace is that sleeping around seems to be a national sport amongst the natives.

I had a very brief 'relationship' with one, who took me to meet her family. Her grandad kept making comments about his granddaughter ending up with a 'Pom', which inspired an odd conversation about whether Scottish people are poms or not, they finally settled on me being ok because I'm not English. Ten minutes later they rescinded the pass when I started talking about how great it was seeing England beat Australia in the 2005 ashes.

Weird family. They had a fridge on their front porch and kept commenting on which trees had caught fire in bush fires in the past and which ones hadn't. Based on the fact the ones that had were black I felt I didn't really need their expertise on the matter but apparently that passes as good conversation in Australia.

I was there for a few months, and in a way I enjoyed it (I was 18 and had a couple of years worth of savings burning a hole in my pocket, probably would have had a great time wherever I went), but I was thrilled to get back home and haven't felt the slightest desire to return.
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17 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Someone at work has a Christmas cd playing. Fair enough. I'm singing in my head them all with the lyrics "smoke ma dobber" trying to find out what song fits best. Bring the calvary is top right now.

Smoke ma dobber, don't let the bell's end.

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1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

"I really can't stay

But baby smoke my dobber

I've got to get away

But baby smoke my dobber"

 

It's effectively what he's saying in the song anyway

That's pretty much the rapiest Christmas song going even without adding in Smoke my dobber.

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Brilliant stupidity from the Good Spirits Co

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Dear customers, we've an awfully sad theft to report. Over the years we've bottled some drams which mean an awful lot to us and we keep bottle number 1 of each cask on display in the shop as a little reminder of past bottlings. We are sorry to report that bottle 1 of our 5th Birthday Glen Moray 28yo has been pinched right before our very eyes.

We aren't very confident of it turning up but if anyone happens to spot it, it'll be numbered as 1 and you'll be rewarded with some very fine drams indeed!

EDIT - Well this is rather embarrassing. After reviewing our cctv it seems a customer actually purchased the bottle somehow on Wednesday. If you happen to be that person we would be very interested in being reunited with our missing bottle. Many rewards and infinite kudos if you can help reconnect us! Please share this post kind folks.

Image may contain: drink and table

 

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2 hours ago, 8MileBU said:

Seen a woman standing with the light on, curtains wide open, in just her bra at Craigentinny this morning. I unfortunately cannot confirm if she was a 'wid' or 'wid not' as it was just a drive-by glance.

8mile's Christmas.

depositphotos_49775625-stock-photo-man-i

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