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Anyhoo, I was molested by an old woman on the Subway while listening to a Glasvegas concept album based on 'Lanark' by Aladair Gray.

Would've captured my attention, pal. Although, I'm sure, it wouldn't be an unique tale of public transport debauchery.

FWIW, the closest I came (kyip kyip fnar fnar). Was when an extremely drunk lassie got her, pierced, norks out for me the offered me a BJ in the lavvy. London to Glasgow central, may 99. Never happened as she puked in the aisle, moments after the flash and passed out. Sober, she, was a borderline wid. Steaming a definite nah, ehll pass.

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Jonafon Woss has Cwistiano Wonaldo on tonight.

Hopefully he gets the the bulk of the airtime and not just 5 mins to plug his movie.

The other guests are David Tennant and Agyness Deyn. *Yaaaawn*

One of the biggest spots stars, actually, just biggest stars in the world? I'd imagine he's guest number one over a fairly well liked British actor and a former model turned indie actor.

Despite Ross doing his expected usual arse kissing routine I'll definitely be watching that at some point. I'd imagine Ronaldo will be fairly interesting.

I remember watching Didier Drogba on Graham Norton which was just odd. Cantona years back was on Ross and looked like he he was hating every fucking second.

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