Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I think I'm entering my second childhood. Just been swapping all the sleeves around on the curries in Morrisons. I used to slip packets of Durex into old ladies(steady) shopping baskets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I used to slip packets of Durex into old ladies(steady) shopping baskets. I read that as used Durex first time around. What a bizarre and c*ntish thing to do. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I read that as used Durex first time around. What a bizarre and c*ntish thing to do. It pays to have more than one string to ones bow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 ^^^ not going to be a fan of CCTV when the complaints roll in. Edit: Not you Zen. The Bairn above you. I have no Bairn above me, unless you mean my son who is giving himself rsi playing xbox in his bedroom. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I have no Bairn above me, unless you mean my son who is giving himself rsi playing xbox in his bedroom. So long as he's not filling the laundry basket with socks, I think you can sleep easy at night. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 So long as he's not filling the laundry basket with socks, I think you can sleep easy at night. He ran out of socks ages ago as he can't be arsed using the washing machine, I assume that he is walking about barefoot, he may solve this problem by buying socks with Christmas money, meanwhile the washing machine is feeling unwanted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Have you ever considered heroin? Never see a fat smackhead. For the love of God please don't try heroin. ^^^reformed junkie.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 A good exercise without really trying is ice skating. You can cover a fair distance in an hour or two and use most of the same muscles as you would out running. That's a good idea. Was thinking about cross country skiing as well, as you'd only be able to do it the odd weekend. I've had to stop working for a bit and am getting seriously unfit, but the thought of a gym or running in the park makes me go straight for a pint and a cigarette. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 On the whole health tip, I've spent the past year saving up for a decent exercise bike. Finally reached the target this month, but I'm convinced that the fatal heart attack will strike before the damned thing arrives. Ah well, the wife knows where the life insurance documents are. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Cocaine works a treat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I used to slip packets of Durex into old ladies(steady) shopping baskets. You're a good son, Zenny. After all, look what happened last time she forgot protection. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I think we're all forgetting the fags. All the young ladies claim that cigarettes keep their weight under control. I've always presumed it's because they feel too nauseous to eat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 You're a good son, Zenny. After all, look what happened last time she forgot protection. That would be my brothers and sisters, at least she remembered to feed us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Just discovered that the latest issue of Retro Gamer magazine contains two pages devoted to a game review that I bashed out about five years ago. Weird feeling to be sitting on the crapper thinking, "hang on, I swear I've read this before"... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Just discovered that the latest issue of Retro Gamer magazine contains two pages devoted to a game review that I bashed out about five years ago. Weird feeling to be sitting on the crapper thinking, "hang on, I swear I've read this before"... Merry fucking Christmas to you, while poor Zen and his siblings are hungry waiting for his mother to gobble a fiver from a stranger. Shame on you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Banhammer upgrade sent today via UPS from Div 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Merry fucking Christmas to you, while poor Zen and his siblings are hungry waiting for his mother to gobble a fiver from a stranger. Shame on you. Just because I have declared you invalid from my will there is no need to be derogatory in respect of my dear mother. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 10391431_604927602946765_5747918309979664047_n.jpg Banhammer upgrade sent today via UPS from Div What did the old one look like? No, wait! AAAAAARRRGGHH--- 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 10391431_604927602946765_5747918309979664047_n.jpg Banhammer upgrade sent today via UPS from Div That looks like the kind of picture a serial killer would send the police just to taunt them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 10391431_604927602946765_5747918309979664047_n.jpg Banhammer upgrade sent today via UPS from Div Looks like a spade handle, I hope you're not being racist. And sorry about using the "zen" word. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.