Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Who fancies a wee sweepstake on what Chris did? I'd like to go for something like "murdered the wife's prize pomeranian" but I think it's more likely to be "felt up the admin assistant's bum at work night out", so I'm going with that. It'll end up with the punch line, 'well you have to have somewhere to park your bike' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 8milebu's wee girl is really unwell and its stressing me the f**k out big-time It's a horrible experience, to be sure, but nothing excuses posting in the third-person. Hope she's doing better (and chastising her father for his faux-pas) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I haven't posted in a few weeks on thsi thread but just to let you all know I'm still a pretty bad person. Pretty awful all things told. Any suggestions as to how I can improve are welcome. You could try telling us what you've done instead of queening around like an attention whore. Sorry, in a bad mood because I actually AM a bad person. We should have a competition. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Who fancies a wee sweepstake on what Chris did? I'd like to go for something like "murdered the wife's prize pomeranian" but I think it's more likely to be "felt up the admin assistant's bum at work night out", so I'm going with that. After all this build up, it'd better be shagging a close relative of his, or his wife's. Anything less just won't cut it. Chris, if you're out there, get the job done. And take pictures. Love, P&B. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 The vast majority of taxi drivers are absolute c***s. Show us on the doll where No8 touched you, Patrick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 8milebu is unapologetic. 8milebu's wee girl is slowly improving and the fever appears to be subsiding as her temperature is a lot lower today. 8milebu thanks you for your good wishes. That reads like an old-skool Spectrum adventure game. Just needs to finish with "What do you do?" and a cursor. >use PARACETAMOL on 8MILEBU'S DAUGHTER 8MILEBU'S DAUGHTER drinks the PARACETAMOL. She heals! 8MILEBU'S DAUGHTER chides 8MILEBU You escape in the confusion. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I posted this in the random imagine thread, but i felt it deserved to be shared elsewhere 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 >USE GUN You miss! 8MILEBU flings shite! What do you do? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 You miss! 8MILEBU flings shite! What do you do? Unleash the umbrella and air freshener. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 My friend, who is as close to a 10/10 is as humanly possible tonight revealed she's not had sex in over 2 years. Aye, minus the hauners for friends. And blowjobs don't count either, nor titwanks. And American schoolchildren don't think anal counts as sex, so there's that. And it only REALLY counts with people whose names you know, so one-night stands are out. She's practically a virgin apart from you, Fudgey. <<< seethingly jealous misogynist 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Must have been some night that. Did she walk home like John Wayne? I'm betting she's no Angel, and the Badman filled her head full of Chisum. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) If she'd been ridden like Sea Biscuit I'd have listened to every last detail while masturbating furiously. She's too busy with work for a boyfriend and finds the majority of men she meets in London to be insufferable wanks so can't be bothered with a one night stand. When she's drunk she sends me naked pictures which I shamefully w**k to before deleting and never tell my girlfriend about Edited October 18, 2014 by Fudge 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 If she'd been ridden like Sea Biscuit I'd have listened to every last detail while masturbating furiously. She's too busy with work for a boyfriend and finds the majority of men she meets in London to be insufferable wanks so can't be bothered with a one night stand. When she's drunk she sends me naked pictures to post on P&B which I shamefully w**k to before deleting and never tell my girlfriend about Intresting 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 If she was some mental ex I despised I'd happily plaster her chebs all over the internet but she's the decest female I've ever met and so wouldn't dare. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 When she's drunk she sends me naked pictures which I shamefully w**k to before deleting and never tell my girlfriend about If you're happy doing that why the hell not just ride her? I imagine your girlfriend would be just as pissed off discovering the pictures as she would if you actually slept with the lassie :-) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 When she's drunk she sends me naked pictures which I shamefully w**k to before deleting and never tell my girlfriend about Poor form, sir. There are ways of securing such things from prying eyes. You'll regret that when the alzheimers kicks in. She's too busy with work for a boyfriend and finds the majority of men she meets in London to be insufferable wanks so can't be bothered with a one night stand. Liking this girl more and more, TBH. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I've ridden her umpteen times when we were 'officially' together do either way she is well and truly stored in my w**k bank. Any pictures of sent are replied to with a half heated reprimanded and tucked into the w**k bank for current or future usage 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 If you're happy doing that why the hell not just ride her? I imagine your girlfriend would be just as pissed off discovering the pictures as she would if you actually slept with the lassie :-) If she's really all that and a bag of chips, maybe the girlfriend would fancy a shot herself. Christ, I've been watching too much porn again 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I've ridden her umpteen times when we were 'officially' together do either way she is well and truly stored in my w**k bank. Any pictures of sent are replied to with a half heated reprimanded and tucked into the w**k bank for current or future usage "Now look, whit huv I telt ye aboot sending me yon piccies of yer bare scuddyness, Miss 10/10? Get it stopped pronto!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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