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Just killed a wasp with deodorant. GIRFUY ya filthy scumbag.

We had a wasps nest in our loft years ago and the buggers were getting in and out through a hole under the guttering but found a way into the bathroom through the hole for one of the pipes, every couple of hours one would be trapped in the bathroom. After taking a shower one evening I realised I was sharing the bathroom with one of them, so I picked up a can of hairspray and sprayed at it. The wasp went mental and into attack mode hovering right in front of my face stinger pointed at me but unable to get close due to the continuous blast from the can. Then suddenly the hairspray on the wasp hardened and it was hurled onto the window sill in a fatal cacoon of Boots own. Teenager vs wasp, teenager won.

Now a days I prefer to remove them from the house without harm as they are useful in eating pests like aphids and house flies, same goes for spiders.

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We had a wasps nest in our loft years ago and the buggers were getting in and out through a hole under the guttering but found a way into the bathroom through the hole for one of the pipes, every couple of hours one would be trapped in the bathroom. After taking a shower one evening I realised I was sharing the bathroom with one of them, so I picked up a can of hairspray and sprayed at it. The wasp went mental and into attack mode hovering right in front of my face stinger pointed at me but unable to get close due to the continuous blast from the can. Then suddenly the hairspray on the wasp hardened and it was hurled onto the window sill in a fatal cacoon of Boots own. Teenager vs wasp, teenager won.

Now a days I prefer to remove them from the house without harm as they are useful in eating pests like aphids and house flies, same goes for spiders.

I took out four wasps nests in the garden sheds a couple of weeks ago... with a broom handle. One also went into attack mode but got itself stuck in a spiders web before I beat it to death with a frisbee.

Not checked the loft yet... which has a hole leading outside. :(

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I took out four wasps nests in the garden sheds a couple of weeks ago... with a broom handle. One also went into attack mode but got itself stuck in a spiders web before I beat it to death with a frisbee.

Not checked the loft yet... which has a hole leading outside. :(

I'm sure you'll be fine, it's the holes leading inside you have to watch.

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Now a days I prefer to remove them from the house without harm as they are useful in eating pests like aphids and house flies, same goes for spiders.

I do that also.

The guy that has my mums old house had 4 beehives that he kept for the honey. It was mental watching him collecting the honey whilst he was dressed in all the protective gear. The little feckers were always mega angry at him. He got rid of them a couple of weeks ago when a load of them attacked his wife in the garden and tried to create a new nest in her hair.

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Found out yesterday that, directly from the treadmills, I can access the internet - meaning I can tag myself at the gym on Facebook telling people that I'm getting my #gainz on and how much #lifting I'm doing. Pretty dece tbh.

Not done it yet though. I was too busy playing solitaire and watching You've Been Framed.

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I took out four wasps nests in the garden sheds a couple of weeks ago... with a broom handle. One also went into attack mode but got itself stuck in a spiders web before I beat it to death with a frisbee.

Not checked the loft yet... which has a hole leading outside. :(

A wasps hive is called a bike, is it not?

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I hate going to the barbers, always ends up with the same conversation:

Barber: "So who do you support"

Me: "Dumbarton"

Barber: "Aye?"

Me: "Aye"

*Deathly silence*

*Continuation of deathly silence*

Barber: "What league are they in"

Me: "Championship"

Barber: "Aw right, so you'll be looking forward to playing Rangers next year"

Me: "Nope not really"

*10 minute deathly silence as we both try not to make eye contact in the mirror*

I'm going this afternoon and desperately trying to think of interesting/different conversation to spark up.

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I hate going to the barbers, always ends up with the same conversation:

Barber: "So who do you support"

Me: "Dumbarton"

Barber: "Aye?"

Me: "Aye"

*Deathly silence*

*Continuation of deathly silence*

Barber: "What league are they in"

Me: "Championship"

Barber: "Aw right, so you'll be looking forward to playing Rangers next year"

Me: "Nope not really"

*10 minute deathly silence as we both try not to make eye contact in the mirror*

I'm going this afternoon and desperately trying to think of interesting/different conversation to spark up.

Tell him you are gay. I'd guess he'd still say something like "Aw, I kent a lad who was gay, followed the Rangers...."

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I hate going to the barbers, always ends up with the same conversation:

Barber: "Whit aboot the Hibs, eh"

Me: "Dinnae fuckin' start, ya Jambo basturt"

Barber: "Well, it wis bound tae happen......"

Me: (in pathetic attempt at defensive deflection) "Well at least we went doon in a sportsmanlike Corinthian spirit, unlike youse cheatin', bill dodgin' c*nts. We just happened to be shite...... "

*Deathly silence*

*Continuation of deathly silence*

*Sounds of parents removing children from premises due to bad language*

Barber: "Still goat the Derby next season though, eh ?"

Me: "Oh aye......cannae wait"

Barber: "Be great if the Embra teams absolutely fuckin' stuffed the Sevco and we bounce right back up, eh ?"

Me: "That would be lovely"

Barber: "D'you ever go oan that Pie n' Bovril forum ?"

Me: "Have done...."

*10 minute deathly silence as we both try not to make eye contact in the mirror*

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Well that went as expected... I actually managed to stick to the script I wrote on here almost perfectly, good job my hair takes ages to grow gives me another month and a bit before I need to dread going through that again.

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