Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Mrs Biggie is a charge nurse, according to her the sweat off your arse when wiping could contaminate it, and it wouldn't be a 'pure sample'. I cannot recall the last time I had a sweaty arse whilst having a shite, anyhoo, the doc writes back to you and says(hopefully) 'I could not detect any blood in your stool' Not, 'you must be a fat b*****d as your shit was diluted by your sweaty arse' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Mrs Biggie is a charge nurse, according to her the sweat off your arse when wiping could contaminate it, and it wouldn't be a 'pure sample'. Stupid q time... If you weren't keen on doing it.... Why do it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I cannot recall the last time I had a sweaty arse whilst having a shite, anyhoo, the doc writes back to you and says(hopefully) 'I could not detect any blood in your stool' Not, 'you must be a fat b*****d as your shit was diluted by your sweaty arse' f**k knows. I assumed she knew what she was talking about so took her advice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I shat in a piece box. What bread did you opt for on this momentous occasion..? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Stupid q time... If you weren't keen on doing it.... Why do it? Its no good just burying your head in the sand. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 f**k knows. I assumed she knew what she was talking about so took her advice. If she's such the expert, ask her to sort it out for you, tell her it's role play and she'll get a present afterwards. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 This is you isn't it? http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02w22xg Nah, closer to this:- 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If she's such the expert, ask her to sort it out for you, tell her it's role play and she'll get a present afterwards. Too late, its all done now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 What bread did you opt for on this momentous occasion..?Broon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If any of you other scroungers aren't working today, then if you by any chance watch Fifteen to One at 3pm on Channel 4, you may just see me... Were you having a shite? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Its no good just burying your head in the sand. At least that would prove you are flexible. As a responsible 48 1/2 year old who won't be sending his shite through the mail in 18 months time, wtf are the overpaid lazy feckers testing you for? Peanut allergy ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 At least that would prove you are flexible. As a responsible 48 1/2 year old who won't be sending his shite through the mail in 18 months time, wtf are the overpaid lazy feckers testing you for? Peanut allergy ? Do keep up, blood in your poo, although they don't specify whose blood they're looking for. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Broon. I hope the 'filling' was evenly spread and worthy of such a fine loaf..? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Folk from Dundee, the groom may even post on here (I know he posts on The Dark Blue forum) has a sort of gypsy wedding today. Only, Gypsies make the effort to at least wear nice clothes. These folk had fucking onesie/tracksuits on. It's their day blah, blah, blah, but come on to fućk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooky Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I mean, there were bits when I didn't look like I was doing a shit also... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Do keep up, blood in your poo, although they don't specify whose blood they're looking for. Aye, but what does blood signify ? Is it worth the bother? #gottapegitofsumfink If they don't find any blood, I'm sure they can send it back to Wunfy if he encloses a SAE. I fail on the 'A' part.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 My left testicle is achey ^^^ 2016 dead pool captain 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Lucky cunto. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynx Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 RIP, the world's lost an angel 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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