Ross. Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 On Sunday night it was too hot to sleep, so I left the bedroom window open. I was assaulted by a f*ckload of mosquitos and currently sport at least 5 separate bites. One of them is on the middle knuckle of my right index finger. My right index finger is currently around twice the size of my left index finger. It is irritating the shit out of me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If any of you other scroungers aren't working today, then if you by any chance watch Fifteen to One at 3pm on Channel 4, you may just see me... Ugly b*****d ps not really 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If any of you other scroungers aren't working today, then if you by any chance watch Fifteen to One at 3pm on Channel 4, you may just see me... A monkey? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 A monkey? wtf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Malkmus Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If any of you other scroungers aren't working today, then if you by any chance watch Fifteen to One at 3pm on Channel 4, you may just see me... Poor start mate, hope you can turn it around. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen Malkmus Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Tough question, that Indian milkshake one. No shame there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooky Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Well at least I got one right and amused Ellie...I'm on tomorrow also. What fun! Also I bought Richard a pint in the hotel bar the night before then he goes and nominates me! Twat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Tip. Never lift anything with a woman. Or women for that matter. There was an old piano in my work's garage that needed taken to the tip. The handyman had taken it to bits but the bit with all the 'wire' notes was still a big bulk and heavy as f*ck. He was also busy at the time hence why 3 women were there to 'help' It's a wee van so it needed to be lifted and tipped to one side. It was all achieved and all it needed was to be slid further into the van. I was doing this but the other 3 decided it wasn't for them. Crash. Stuck like the fucker outa 127 Hours I'm just grateful it was the skin it caught because had it landed on the bone there's no question it would have at least fractured! Stupid bitches ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1441112425.051092.jpg This is you isn't it? http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02w22xg 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) When you get to 50 the NHS asks you to poke around in your own shite with a cardboard stick. Edited September 1, 2015 by Bigmouth Strikes Again 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 When you get to 50 the NHS asks you to poke around in your own shite with a cardboard stick. And you have to send it to Dundee #therestofscotlandwins 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 And you have to send it to Dundee #therestofscotlandwins I just sent the whole shite so they could share it out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 And you have to send it to Dundee #therestofscotlandwins How much do they pay the people to analyse it? I would need about 250k a week. I got the dry boak, and that was just with my own. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 How much do they pay the people to analyse it? I would need about 250k a week. I got the dry boak, and that was just with my own. What were you doing? howkin the peanuts out of it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 What were you doing? howkin the peanuts out of it?was probably the worms that made him feel sick tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 was probably the worms that made him feel sick tbh. That and being a vegetarian. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 What were you doing? howkin the peanuts out of it? Bad hangover on Sunday morning, didn't really want to be doing it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Bad hangover on Sunday morning, didn't really want to be doing it. You don't have to go dookin for the shit, you can swab it off the toilet paper, jobbies a good un. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 How much do they pay the people to analyse it? I would need about 250k a week. I got the dry boak, and that was just with my own.BTW, Just a heads up to say that by the time you have the trio the previous 'samples' are clearly visible.So I'm told.. ;-) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You don't have to go dookin for the shit, you can swab it off the toilet paper, jobbies a good un. Mrs Biggie is a charge nurse, according to her the sweat off your arse when wiping could contaminate it, and it wouldn't be a 'pure sample'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I shat in a piece box. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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